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Date Posted: 12:52:05 04/20/24 Sat
I can only say what has worked for me. Everyone has their own idea of what real punishment should feel like, and also how dedicated one is to imposing the required level on themselves.
There have been a few times in the past where I was very bad, and I needed punishment at least in the ballpark of what I received when I was very bad as a young teenager. This was not easy to accomplish because only a traditional kind of spanking would satisfy the need. I would not be looking for other methods of inflicting pain or to other areas of the body. It had to be a spanking exclusively on the buttocks. This is how I was raised growing up, an important element of the applied psychology. A spanking was always powerful in this regard. The spoken word alone caused great embarrassment, and humility was essential in effective discipline.
The questions at the time were: How do I apply the spanking myself without having the angle and leverage my parents had? In order to strike at the right angle, is it even possible to spank hard enough? If I could spank properly and hard enough, what would prevent me from letting up at that moment where I truly believe I can take no more? And then, can real punishment be under the control of the one being punished? My parents had that control, and that is what made it so real. While I was always safe, I had the fear that goes with being in real trouble. I had the fear of it happening should there be a next time. The purpose of corporal punishment is to modify behavior through fear of consequences. Could I fear my own self-spanking?
The first answer to all of that was, self-spanking must be applied in a different manner, and there will be compromises. The main element lacking was an authority figure to take discipline out of my hands and into theirs. I would have to be judge, jury and executioner of my own conviction. That was the mental challenge. The physical challenge was the mechanics of the spanking itself. It took experimentation to find what worked best to as closely replicate as possible what I knew of as a punishment spanking.
An implement had to be chosen and, as it turned out, a paddle that had been used in my parents' home worked best. The characteristics of this paddle that made it effective were numerous. It was small and of a weight that I could control even at a less-than-ideal position of my hand and arm. The dense quality and type of wood was such that, without movement of my upper arm, with only a backhand sharp snap of wrist, it imparted a sharp focused sting. The shape of the paddle was that of a fairly wide ruler across my behind, and with subtle raised ridges along the edges that intensified the sting.
I was still left with the fact that I could not spank with the force of a conventional disciplinarian. I would figure something out, and it had to do with quantity and focus over brute strength. First, if a band across the buttocks is wrist-spanked once, it stings. Do it again quickly to strike the same spots, and it stings a little more. A third time, it's getting less fun yet again. You can see where I'm going with this, and then with the added step of soaking in a hot tub of water beforehand as prep for the procedure, the relentless assault on those increasingly tender spots, the cumulative effect was to reach a point where enough is enough. But at that point, it is not enough. This is the point where a strict parent begins to instill the lesson. Where the squirming and kicking start, then the vocal protests soon followed by the involuntary full out tantrum.
I'm not sure a self-spanker can get to the point where they are yelling at themselves to stop, and then to almost completely lose control of their own bodily reactions. I never did. Unfortunately, there is no one else to surrender control to here. I had to wear two hats, so to speak, as disciplinarian and the one who had a price to pay. In order to finish the job, it was only me and my determination, so I could not let go of the reins. I had to count spanks, a real compromise that does not sit well with my vision of a spanking. As judge, I had to hand down a sentence, a number from which no deviation in quantity, intensity or rate could be made. If you have the will for it, you simply do not allow even the smallest compromise. After all spanks have been delivered, the judge assesses the situation, and if it is determined that another set is required, then they shall be executed immediately and in full measure. Only when the judge is satisfied will it be finished. When I looked in the bathroom mirror after a self-spanking like this, my wet eyes trying to focus on two spots where my bottom was purple, I felt punished.
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