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Subject: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Ava
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Date Posted: 09:57:35 04/11/26 Sat

I am a freshman in college, and I am 18 years old. I still live at home with my parents and sisters. Yesterday the midterm grades were posted. My mom got on her parental portal and my grades were satisfactory according to me. My parents did not. I had my car taken away which means I either walk to college or get a ride from someone. I was also paddled on my bare bottom with hand and paddle from my dad. I am still very sore.

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Al
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Date Posted: 10:35:18 04/11/26 Sat

I am sorry that happened Ava. Grades are important of course, but the key is to understand their expectations. I trust you feel that was not fair. I think forcing you to walk was not the best idea. Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to talk further. I'm also on Trillian as bigalradio.

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[> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Carol for Ava and Al
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Date Posted: 10:42:41 04/11/26 Sat

I agree with a paddling but would have taken the phone away and a two week grounding . My first year in college I got paddled and a two week grounding made me buckle down . I think making it hard to get to classes is not a good punishment

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Al
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Date Posted: 11:11:57 04/11/26 Sat

Yes Carol. That's where I was coming from. I'd never put a daughter or a girl I mentored in that situation as a consequence. The thing to be doing is monitoring her quizzes and midterms, and if she needs help, get her the help. If she's not making good use of her time for school, then punish for that. Spanking/paddling, losing the car... that's all after the fact and too late. IMO of course.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Roberta
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Date Posted: 11:38:59 04/11/26 Sat

Carol, I tend to agree with you based on my personal experience as a college freshman.

Ava, my situation was very different than yours, so my comments may not be helpful. Feel free to ignore them if you wish. :-) My grades were unsatisfactory by everyone's standards, including my own. I ended up on academic probation for a term, clearly not one of my shining moments. Also, my parents were not involved; it was my decision to seek out discipline from a mentor.

Needless to say, I got one heck of a spanking from my new mentor. He also gave me follow-up spankings when I didn't put my studies first. These were not easy lessons to endure, in fact they were downright painful, but my grades improved dramatically and ultimately I got into graduate/professional school.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Al
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Date Posted: 11:44:13 04/11/26 Sat

That's great Roberta! I've had the pleasure of mentoring two college students. Even if consensual discipline was not used, it was always nice to see improvement.

I think many in college wish they had someone to hold them to account for grades and making good choices. Thanks to too much permissive parenting.

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Scott (For Roberta)
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Date Posted: 13:27:41 04/11/26 Sat

Thanks for sharing. As a father of two now-grown girls and a mentor to some college-age girls, I love to hear success stories like yours.

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[> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Jenna
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Date Posted: 10:46:31 04/11/26 Sat

The spanking is enough without the car being taken away. Was this an over the knee spanking on the bare? What kind of paddle? \

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[> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
St J Girl (to Ava)
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Date Posted: 11:15:56 04/11/26 Sat

Which of those punishments, if any, do you think were appropriate?

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[> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Dean
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Date Posted: 11:45:33 04/11/26 Sat

Discipline in college is the key to success. If self-discipline is lacking, it can be very helpful to have someone pushing you in that direction. There should be closer monitoring so the problem doesn't show up until after grades are posted. I wish now I had had that kind of motivation in school.

The paddle is one option I think can be effective, and it should be enough of an attention-getter where we don't need other messy complications like taking the car or phone away, or grounding. If the paddle doesn't quickly produce the results we're looking for, then try the other methods.

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[> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Roberta (to Dean)
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Date Posted: 05:48:05 04/12/26 Sun

Spanking certainly worked for me. It provided motivation for me to put my studies first and was an effective punishment when I got off track. It wasn't a quick or easy fix, however.
I was rarely spanked growing up even when I clearly deserved it, so I basically did what I want, when I wanted. I'm sure I was a challenge since my mentor also had the daunting task of having to make up for lost time.

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[> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Dean
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Date Posted: 16:11:35 04/12/26 Sun

I'm happy it worked well for you, Roberta. I think to be effective you have to want it to work. It may not mean that you become totally responsible, and everything then goes smoothly, but that is true growing up anyway. You misbehave, it results in a spanking. The problem is resolved for some significant length of time but, eventually, you forget, slip, follow a temptation or bad influence, and another spanking is needed. Improvement is realistic, perfection is not.

I don't know what it is like to grow up without that kind of discipline. For you, being held accountable must have been a tough adjustment after all the years of permissiveness and autonomy. I also know what it is like when you outgrow parental spankings, and there is no longer anyone providing discipline. Spankings earlier in life do not necessarily ensure anything.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Dean to Roberta
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Date Posted: 12:11:34 04/15/26 Wed

I agree that spanking can be an effective influencer and motivator either as a deterrent to misbehavior, or as a way to promote discipline that helps us meet our goals. As far as comparing the adult consensual experience, and a child's helplessness in being punished, there are profound differences. Anyone who has not lived it as a child can't know what it is like, and the adult experience won't be a re-creation of a child's feelings.

As an adult seeking punishment for your sins, so to speak, you must be very committed and brave to follow through with what is, essentially, self-discipline. You must also be painfully open and honest as you place yourself in the hands of your mentor, who is acting as a disciplinarian in this vulnerable moment. That takes a certain rare type of person. The critical point, though, is that this is your decision and, until the moment of accountability, you control your own destiny. I don't know if you have a "safe word" you can use, but that would be a level of control you may or may not want to have. Bottom line is that, when all is said and done, you can be proud of yourself for your conscientiousness, and the benefit you receive is well-understood.

In contrast to that, as a child, I had no control and, even as I grew enough to potentially defend myself, I felt helpless. I was not mature enough to recognize that there was any benefit to what I was enduring. It was only pain, shame and humiliation. Of course, it was not my choice, and I strongly resented it. The relationship between me and my parents was full of conflict and strain. However, if we are evaluating spanking in terms of how it can manage and correct behavior, and to motivate improved behavior, then we can compare my punishments to what has worked for you. The answer appears to be much the same.

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[> [> Subject: Re: College Midterm Grades


Author:
Roberta (to Dean)
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Date Posted: 09:55:22 04/14/26 Tue

Spanking is not a panacea, but it can work, or at least help, when used judiciously and consistently. I needed it to work, so I showed up to my mentoring appointments and was honest about how things were going even when I knew being held accountable meant getting a damn good spanking.

It might be easier being a kid. You don't have to make the decision; your parents do it for you. As an adult, even one who doesn't always make adult decisions, there is more onus on you: consent, good faith effort to participate/cooperate, voluntarily submitting to the spankings...

But I'm convinced spanking can work whether you're a child or an adult (or an adult-child!).

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