Re: To Debbie and Laura -- Spanking & Discipline Chat

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Subject: Re: To Debbie and Laura

Author:
Debbie
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Date Posted: 17:35:12 04/11/25 Fri
In reply to: Same approach different results 's message, "Re: To Debbie and Laura" on 14:09:55 04/08/25 Tue

Hi Distressed Mom,

You bring up a really interesting question, and I don't think it has any easy answers. Some of the difference would have to be some of the things you already mentioned, like upbringing, culture, and society.

I think the personality of the parent and the child, and how well the two mesh is also a really big factor. For example, I'm kind of a natural rule-follower. I don't like the idea or feeling of being in trouble, even if my backside weren't in the firing line. I don't automatically have respect for ALL authority figures, but if they have shown that they deserve my respect, then I really hate disappointing them. I've always been a bit of a shy, bookish, kind of gal, who would rather stay in and read some well-written fanfiction than subject myself to some kind of party with people my own age. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but I guess I prefer quality over quantity. Socializing isn't a huge priority for me, and generally speaking, I think it's harder to get in trouble if you're at home reading, lol. I don't think that makes me an "angel" as you called me, though thank you for that. I'm just less likely to put myself in a position to get in trouble.

Laura is clearly a bit different from me. She's more extroverted, and the main reason she hated being grounded was that she missed socializing with her friends. I honestly think my mom might prefer a few late curfews, if I was a little less of an introvert. She worries that I don't put myself out there enough.

Also, I think my mom and Laura's mom have different outlooks when it comes to discipline. I'm sure there are many reasons why they each have the approach that they do, but I can say that if my mom had given me the kind of severe spankings that Laura got right from the beginning, well, I would not have had a good reaction. I would have been terrified and probably sunk into a really bad headspace.

Despite some ongoing friction, Laura managed to make progress. She has admitted that being held accountable helped her with her schoolwork, and her relationship with her mom improved when they weren't fighting all the time. She just wanted to feel like she wasn't in danger of getting a really terrible spanking for every little mistake.

So, I don't know what exactly makes some kids get in trouble more than others, except to say that I think a lot of complicated things factor into it. And that isn't really a helpful or satisfying answer, lol. I just wanted to say something because I have seen a couple people compare me and Laura, and I think that's a bit unfair to her. We are in very different situations, and she has had a much rougher time than I have. Neither one of us have always made the best decisions over the last year or so. But I think she has been really brave and resilient in a way that I don't think I could have been.

Thanks, Debbie

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Re: To Debbie and Laura Emily to Debbie - a different perspective 02:25:00 04/12/25 Sat

Re: To Debbie and Laura -- Debbie To Emily, 16:08:13 04/13/25 Sun

Re: To Debbie and Laura -- Emily to Debbie, 09:28:55 04/14/25 Mon

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>Hi Distressed Mom, > >You bring up a really interesting question, and I >don't think it has any easy answers. Some of the >difference would have to be some of the things you >already mentioned, like upbringing, culture, and >society. > >I think the personality of the parent and the child, >and how well the two mesh is also a really big factor. > For example, I'm kind of a natural rule-follower. I >don't like the idea or feeling of being in trouble, >even if my backside weren't in the firing line. I >don't automatically have respect for ALL authority >figures, but if they have shown that they deserve my >respect, then I really hate disappointing them. I've >always been a bit of a shy, bookish, kind of gal, who >would rather stay in and read some well-written >fanfiction than subject myself to some kind of party >with people my own age. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I >have friends, but I guess I prefer quality over >quantity. Socializing isn't a huge priority for me, >and generally speaking, I think it's harder to get in >trouble if you're at home reading, lol. I don't think >that makes me an "angel" as you called me, though >thank you for that. I'm just less likely to put myself >in a position to get in trouble. > >Laura is clearly a bit different from me. She's more >extroverted, and the main reason she hated being >grounded was that she missed socializing with her >friends. I honestly think my mom might prefer a few >late curfews, if I was a little less of an introvert. > She worries that I don't put myself out there enough. > >Also, I think my mom and Laura's mom have different >outlooks when it comes to discipline. I'm sure there >are many reasons why they each have the approach that >they do, but I can say that if my mom had given me the >kind of severe spankings that Laura got right from the >beginning, well, I would not have had a good reaction. > I would have been terrified and probably sunk into a >really bad headspace. > >Despite some ongoing friction, Laura managed to make >progress. She has admitted that being held >accountable helped her with her schoolwork, and her >relationship with her mom improved when they weren't >fighting all the time. She just wanted to feel like >she wasn't in danger of getting a really terrible >spanking for every little mistake. > >So, I don't know what exactly makes some kids get in >trouble more than others, except to say that I think a >lot of complicated things factor into it. And that >isn't really a helpful or satisfying answer, lol. I >just wanted to say something because I have seen a >couple people compare me and Laura, and I think >that's a bit unfair to her. We are in very different >situations, and she has had a much rougher time than I >have. Neither one of us have always made the best >decisions over the last year or so. But I think she >has been really brave and resilient in a way that I >don't think I could have been. > >Thanks, Debbie

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