Deep in the bowels of the hospital -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 07:19:14 06/26/03 Thu
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: Deep in the bowels of the hospital
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "KS pulls on a pair of surgical gloves" on 10:17:58 06/22/03 Sun

There is a sudden flare-up of light that begins slowly to move up the staircase.

Meanwhile...Kande clutches her standard issue hospital gown tightly around her behind. "I have birthday plans for tomorrow," she barks, trying to dodge around KS and her weapons of individual destruction.

KS tackles her and throws her back on the hospital bed. "No way. You're going to sit here and listen to my childhood stories again until I say I'm finished."

Even the Mayor in the next bed groans at this. Everyone looks up as a new patient is brought in and deposited unceremoniously in the adjoining cubicle. Aunt Madge rubs her hands together over the patient, which just happens to be KS's dog.

"She ate something she shouldn't have," Aunt Madge reports. "She'll be right as rain pretty soon."

"Bubba's french cooking?" asks Kande, her face green at the memory.

Aunt Madge whispers in her ear, then informs KS. "Eeeewwww." they both hiss, clapping their hands over their respective mouths.

An intern pops his head in. "There's a help line call for you," he motions to KS. KS groans.

"Help line?" the Mayor asks, her pencil poised over her fine sheet.

"The county called and asked me to do some contract work for them one week out of the month," KS explains as she stumps over to the phone the intern is holding out. Kande and the Mayor watch KS as she turns on her counseling charm. "You're going to do what? That won't kill you. You're holding the razor the wrong way. And you didn't take enough of your medicine to do more than induce a coma. Thank God you called me, otherwise you'd be a complete flop at suicide too.

Whaddya mean I'm a lousy counselor? I'm counseling you, right? Fine. Live then. See if I care." KS slams the phone down and looks up to see the Mayor and Kande staring at her with shock on their faces.

"You call that counseling for a help line?" Kande gasps.

KS shrugs. "If it's compassion they want, they should pay more."

Kande puts her head in her hands. She should get out of here, before KS remembers she was getting ready to torture her. She's almost at her clothes when Mom & Dad walk in.

"Surprise!" Behind them, the hallway seems to burst into flame.

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Replies:

Suddenly all the curtains slide open -- kenamom, who wasn't really sick, 06:44:10 06/27/03 Fri
- You ARE wearing underwear, aren't you? -- Kande's Sis's mom asks in horror, 08:14:18 06/27/03 Fri