I diagnose... -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, [7], 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 19:44:09 03/18/02 Mon
Author: Kande's Sis, writing tearily
Subject: I diagnose...
In reply to: kenamom 's message, "Aunt Madge barely gets out the door when Det's eye tumour explodes" on 13:14:57 03/18/02 Mon

"...breast cancer." Aunt Madge delivers this statement to the little hamster (a.k.a. Sweetie) in a solemn tone. Sweetie squeaks a query.

"About a month," Aunt Madge informs her.

Sweetie's hamster partner and soulmate, Chubby, rushes to embrace her and hand over the piece of dried apple he's been hoarding in cedar chips.

"Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute," IG bursts into the hospital room, slips on grape jelly, and lands on Det, poking her in her good eyeball with her trusty ink pen.

"Oomph!" Det spits grape jelly on IG's brand-new pink twinset. "Not OK!" She gestures wildly at what used to be her good eye. "Blind!"

IG dusts herself off and sticks her finger at Aunt Madge. "Just where do you think you're going with this hamster story?"

"Story?" Aunt Madge hisses indignantly. "This is someone's life!"

Just then, Kande and KS burst into the room, KM and CW hot on their heels. Rabid follows more slowly, as she made a pit stop in the lab.

"What's the prognosis?" KS anxiously scans Aunt Madge's face and then burst into tears.

"I could do the surgery and remove the lump," Aunt Madge tells her, "but I give her a 50-50 chance of recovering."

"Hmmph!" Kande nudges KS. "You're not going to spend $100 on a #@$!! rodent, are you?"

KS quickly covers Sweetie's ears. Chubby stands on his hind legs and waves his one forearm in Kande's direction in a threatening manner. Behind them, Det is groping around on the bed, loses her balance, and falls on the floor, jamming an IV in her right ear when she lands. "Blind!" she wails and gestures at her ear. "Deaf!" The crowd ignores her, concentrating instead on the hamster drama.

"The good news," Aunt Madge tells KS as she quickly leaves the room and comes back with a small bundle wrapped in a handkerchief, "is that you're a grandmother! Your finches had twins!"

-KS, whose hamster, Sweetie, really does have breast cancer and has a month to live. And...my finches, Merry and Pippin, have two new little babies, Frodo and Samwise.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Back at the klub, Bubba is sweeping up after the party. -- kande, 04:31:16 03/22/02 Fri
- Bubba holds up kande's laundry bag. -- kenamom, 19:18:07 03/23/02 Sat
  - Kande looks out her office window at the picket line below. -- kande, 04:36:54 03/25/02 Mon
    - Sheesh. Again? -- Kande's Sis sighs, 07:01:41 03/25/02 Mon
      - KS walks into the angry swarm of aliens, superhero's and professional socialists -- kenamom, hiding in her office., 17:18:22 03/27/02 Wed
        Kay-Ess, who? -- Kande's Sis, 20:50:24 03/27/02 Wed
        At Rabid's declaration, everyone stops what they are doing and the room falls silent. -- kande, 04:05:44 03/28/02 Thu
        Kande, KM, and KS hoot with laughter -- Kande's Sis, 07:35:25 03/30/02 Sat