| Subject: Re: the baord was broken, so word. |
Author:
jason
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Date Posted: 19:33:19 08/08/01 Wed
since the board seems to be fixed now, i'll post my response to this here rather than in email...
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i was not implying anything of anyone else. i was stating something of mine.
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and the time i tried to pass up info because i was going down to San Diego, i didnt receive a very warm response, and then after that it seemed like i had NO info at all.
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and this is not a jason is a bad friend, god i hate jason! post. i swear it isn't, and i totally don't want it to be taken that way. it's a this is how i am feeling and to be perfectly honest, if you won that drawing over me, i'd feel completely cheated and pissed off as compared to like, valerie winning it over me. or anyone else.>>
even though i stated from Day ONE that i was not doing this for the backstage passes or getting to any show of my choice or any other reason then to help RAINN out. and i am NOT about to compare everyone off to each other.
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maybe because by the time i knew about most of the fliers it was "hey we printed fliers, we have 500 of them!". but when i have seen them beforehand i have put my input in, and most of them i liked as they were so i said that.
and who do you think designed the website? i did. no offense or nitpicking to audrey, actually props to audrey because she had to redo some of the designs because the files i saved on disk wouldnt open up on her computer, but i made and typed up the layout and we stayed up two long nights getting it up. and i'm not trying to say "oooh i did the website, i shouldnt have to do anything else" or rate that, but has anyone ever asked me to update the website with any info or input? i havent heard anything.
and to be honest, since we are being honest here, before i went down to San Diego i was helping in what i could (website/licking-stuffing-stamping envelopes)because i knew what was going on, but after i came back, i find everything out on this board after its happened.
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if this is nothing new and you knew your work hours were going to be *that* large of a toll, i feel that you should have bowed out earlier.>>
i'm saying it was nothing new to you all. it was something i stated from day one.
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here we go with the assuming...did you even ask me? i called the roxy and left a message. noone called back. how do we know we could have gotten that place for a grand? i was going to call the palladium but dor seemed jazzed on that idea so i asked her if she wanted to and she said she would. i called at least 2 ( i think it was 3 )other smaller club places which i cant remember because it was too long ago for me to remember, and i left messages with all concerning booking, and noone, NOONE called me back. and by the time i was ready to start looking for another listing of clubs, i was told we were gonna do Quest. so *that* is why i didnt pass any info off to anyone (except dor) because there was no info to pass off.
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and like i stated above, thats exactly why i didnt feel like i knew what was going on until after it happened. if you couldnt trust me i wish you would have stated that earlier rather than, what is it now? 16 days before the event?
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i guess i'm stressing over it NOW because i'm finding out NOW that noone trusted me or thought me "host-worthy" lately...and when was this ever going to be adressed if i had never mentioned anything? was it ever? or was i just going to find out after this thing that you all kinda scratched my name off of anything under the word "host"?
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and up until now i wasnt stressing about this maybe because i try NOT to stress about things no matter how stressful they are, but lately this has just been added to this HUGE shitlist in my life that keeps piling up and i'm sorry if my back is finally breaking and i'm not mr. happy right now but fuck it, i can only take so much.
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i didnt know there were certain levels set for achievement. i asked to be in charge of the auction, i helped in creating the website and have stated ideas in maintaining it further on past the event, i stuffed/licked/stamped envelopes, i emailed some musicians and companies about the event but unfortunately noone but Jewel's team responded (which i do have to follow up on like right now), i have passed out the few fliers i received before last night to shops in westwood and asked them to post them (whether or not they did is another question) and now that i have more fliers i can follow up on those, and this saturday (since i get paid on friday) i was going to make some full page fliers and go around WeHo stores and ask them to post them. is there something more i'm supposed to be doing? or should have done? please tell me.
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and as far as i'm concerned, i'm hurt.
thats all i can think of. i know there's been talks about people, behind people's backs, cuz i've been there hearing it, but deep down i kinda thought there was none going on behind mine because i wasnt talking behind others (karma...call me silly), but i know there was/maybe still is, i dont know, and thats what hurt.
if any of you/all of you thought i wasn't pulling in my "fair share" of the weight, i wish you would have fucking asked me..but now it's this huge long post.
these past four days i found out my dad had to have surgery last week because if he hadnt he would have died, or lost his arm at the least, i had to call 911 at work because of some freak in my store and in calling 911 for the first time let me just say NOT a fun thing to do, and i had this mp3 thing over my head, which is the only reason why i thought about bowing out of this, because i know Dor has done a lot more work on this than i have and i did not want things to be tense for this event. for fucks sake its a charity event. so i asked Valerie her opinion on whether i should stay or not on the issue of it being too tense between me and Dor, and Valerie responded that they wanted to have a meeting with me discussing that and discussing my involvement with the event, or "lack thereof" as concluded by some, but instead i opted to post what i did because i thought that was the basis of what was to be discussed. i think i can say now that Dor and I have at least set things aside and agreed that it should not affect this event, so the issue of it being too tense between me and Dor is not my concern anymore. my concern is that i feel like i've been stabbed in the back. and if it's going to keep on like this counting down the days until this event let me know now because i wont be apart of that. *that* is what would kill me, and like you said, i shouldn't allow that to happen.
And despite everything else that has happened in the last four days, this takes the cake...
jason
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