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>... or maybe we need to rethink this whole thing, that >is, the aims of having a web site and discussion forum. > >I propose that the problem is not that UBF >members/defenders are not willing to have a >"discussion." The problem is that they are >all-too-willing to have a "discussion." And it usually >erupts in a flame war. And we get to hear from them >the same justifications, same scripture twisting, same >relativism, same blame projection and "rebukes" that >were used to silence dissent when we were in UBF. >Those things wounded us and damaged us when we >submitted to them in UBF. Why should we have to be >exposed to them again, after we've left? > >If someone has left UBF recently, would they want to >go somewhere where UBF members are free to try to heap >UBF-guilt-tripping on their heads again? > >We need to hear from more former UBF members instead >of the usual cast of characters like me. Repeated >"discussions" about the same topics discourage them, I >think. The presence of UBF defenders using the >familiar dissent-crushing techniques discourages them, >I think. > >Ask any cult recovery expert. Would they recommend >that a former cult member go back to the cult and >engage in repeated open discussions year after year, >week after week with the cult's defenders and >spokespersons, to have the same wounds opened again >and again? Heck no. Maybe someone with experience in >the cult recovery field or psychology can weigh in >here. > >Obviously, we can't take back the "discussions" >(fights) with UBF defenders that we've already had. >Perhaps those "discussions" had value and some of them >have turned out to be quite revealing. But I have to >tell you, personally, those "discussions" have been >terribly stressful. I don't believe those >"discussions" have aided my recovery from UBF. > >Maybe discussion was appropriate in 2000-2001 when we >were still in UBF or fresh out of UBF and there seemed >to be some movement toward a reform. But the reformers >(the more reasonable portion of UBF, the "conscience" >of UBF, UBF "lite") have left. What remains is an even >more radicalized UBF. > >Is anything *new* likely to be "discussed" with UBF >defenders here? > > >>by some of us who wander from the original aims of >>this web. But lets face it times change, and the >>original aims might be now a teeny bit narrow.
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