Date Posted:13:07:15 12/20/04 Mon Author:Caitlin Subject: Guilt, shame and confusion about sexuality
When I went into ubf I was in a relationship with a male that was inappropriate. UBF used that as a hook to get me into ubf. Though this relationship was inappropriate according to ubf's standards, we held hands and kissed, he seemed to me to be the only person who cared for me, literally.
I had no family that cared and I knew no one in the area because of my circumstances. UBF told me he was only interested in my sexually and I broke up with him to have pure, holy relationships. I was also shamed a lot for being a sexual person-even having sexual desires.
However, my own shepherd revealed to me that her Father was sexually abusive with all of his children. Also, there was that hook in John 4 for all the women who look for relationships in men that can only be found in Jesus.
I ended up breaking up with this boy and it did hurt and he was really angry at me. However, I went to the other extreme. I got rid of my make-up, my dresses and was to stop associating with others and it was so lonely. I also did have a lot of desires for love and companionship and this is supposedly taken as abnormal.
I do think a thing that America as a nation could deal with is the rampant sexual immorality. I think if people didn't have so much guilt, shame, confusion, anger and pride over this area of their lives there wouldn't be so much pain.
Men and women should be able to have pure relationships. Marriage should also be pure. I really think this is one of the reasons ubf got people into their group-because of people's guilt, shame and confusion about impurity in their lives.
