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Subject: Re: Teen withholds her stools


Author:
Shelly
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Date Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2024, 12:51: pm
In reply to: Kitten Paw 's message, "Re: Teen withholds her stools" on Saturday, December 14, 2024, 11:49: am

Just talked to sitter a little bit ago on the phone. I asked about if she was excited about getting to go clothes shopping today. She said she is so excited! Mom says she can get her hair cut and styled too today and she is so happy. I love the tone in her voice when she is happy. I said so for tomorrow see if you can get a bowel movement in the morning. Sit for at least five minutes take a fifteen minute break and then go sit for another 5 minutes and try to go. This is really important to your healing. Eat a light lunch and come over at 1. We have a busy day ahead. Our youngest is starting on weekly enemas tomorrow so we have two of them that need an enema and I'm going to be up front with you. I'm putting you on a weekly enemas til clear starting with the soapy enema so we need the whole afternoon to get through that. I'll be gentle and we will take things slow and take breaks if you need. Have a cup of hot tea or I can give you a back massage. Sort of make a spa day out of it. Okay? I got a quiet but quick "yeah". And we said good bye and that was that. I'm so excited. Yes because I fantasized about getting to give her enemas. I admit that. But she needs these enemas.

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Replies:
[> [> [> Subject: Re: Teen withholds her stools


Author:
AV
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Date Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2024, 01:12: pm

Shelly,
I think she is nervous.
I hope J1 and J2 don’t get sick again so her experience this time can be private and personal.
She needs to have a good experience to feel comfortable.
I am so excited for you Shelly.

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[> [> [> Subject: Re: Teen withholds her stools


Author:
Joyce
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Date Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2024, 03:19: pm

Shelly,

Sorry to hear about your 4 year old. Sounds like he got it from his brother.

From what sitter's mom has said you have lifted a great burden from both sitter and her mom's shoulders. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to intervene so skillfully in a very difficult situation.

When sitter comes tomorrow you should praise her for her cooperation Wednesday and pleased how well she handled Junior's needing the toilet to barf. Tell her she was so mature in cooperating and remaining calm and adapting to that and allowing you to continue her enema. That was awesome! If you choose, for her cooperation you will let her choose a position other than across your lap for her enemas like you had her do while Junior barfed into the toilet, or some other position that you approve.

From what you said it appears that her two enemas Wednesday probably didn't get all the way up into her colon. So today the enemas may need be slightly larger to make sure they reach all of her colon. You promise to be gentle and pause if they cause pain. You want this cleansing to be effective, not painful. Ask her before you start to remove all her clothes (particularly if she is wearing her new clothes that her mom bought for her Saturday) so that they won't get soiled if she has an "accident".

If she cooperates, tell her that with your supervision you will let her give Junior his weekly enema.

Hope all goes well. My love to you, sitter, and her mom.

- Joyce

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[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Teen withholds her stools


Author:
Shelly
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Date Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2024, 05:49: pm

Joyce,

As always your encouragement and advice is so helpful. The thing is from my experience with how different and delayed the experience is with my using the deep enema nozzle effects the full sensations in my rectum I want to get the nozzle completely past her rectum and started into her sigmoid. That's why you urged me to get it. To do that I really need her over my left leg. I think that is the only position we can use where I can feel the slightest resistance when we hit the rectal wall and then be able to turn it back and forth while I feel when I'm past that resistance. Also I'm not going make her show me her returns of the enemas until the third one which should be mostly clear. But I do want to gather records of how big the poop is in her rectum when she comes to me that she is unable to pass. Information that may be very helpful for the clinic she will be going to. I'm going to tell her I'm not going to make her show that to me either but because I need to know how full her rectum is then I'm going to do a rectal exam while I'm inserting the suppository. Krissi taught us that you glove up and insert the suppository as deep as you can reach along the rectal wall and along side the stool. With the size of enemas she needs and wanting to use gravity to our advantage if we can I really want her in the knee chest position. They say that for patients who are able to get in that position and stay there it really is the only position to use for really high enemas. She is barely five foot one. I'm going to put one of our seat cushions from an old couch that is long gone on the floor and she will be able to fold her arms under her shoulders and rest head shoulders on the cushion just like the knee chest position. I just really like having access right there at her bottom in case she leaks a little. If we need to get her on the toilet quick we are right there at the toilet. I can stand as she stands lift the toilet lid and seat in one motion and have her sitting in about 3 seconds. If I was still using just a short enema nozzle I might consider giving her some choices but she will have to already be over my leg for suppositories and to get the nozzle in her so she will just have to emotionally adjust to the idea that that is the way I do enemas. That's the way she sees me give Junior his enemas so she won't feel I'm singling her out for special treatment. Plus I hated when step mom made me turn on to my right side where I could see her looking me and I could see my enema bag. That is when the cramping and feeling you are so full and having to hold it in is so strong and I just didn't like that other stimulus to have coming at me. I don't want her focusing on much more enema is in the bag. I want her to focus on trying to relax and open mouth breathing. I'll let her know how she is doing with her enema. Yeah I had already planned on telling her I need her to get fully undressed for me. I have a night shirt that will look like a dress on her. That will be her enema shirt. Just a plain white night shirt. If she wants to take a break between enemas it will practically reach the floor so she can come out with me in the living room and she will be totally covered. So I went to Target and got Cerave baby wash and shampoo. Going to do a very soapy enema myself tonight to see how awful a soapy enema is. I never took a soapy enema because the idea just scared me so much. Soap in your eyes really hurts. No way I wanted soap in my enemas.

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Teen withholds her stools


Author:
Shelly
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Date Posted: Saturday, December 14, 2024, 06:34: pm

Joyce,

How do you feel about the need to see what she produces? I know that was very important to the nurses. But I also know from my own experience growing up and what Kitten Paw says that it is something that really is humiliating to the child. I'm trying to weigh what possible knowledge I will gain about what is going on in her colon with how degrading it is for her to show me her poop. My most important goal is to empty her entire colon and if I make her let me see what the third enema which is going to be two quarts brings out if she is able to take it all and hold it for like ten minutes then I'll know if she is cleaned out. You have many years of experience with your daughter, should I be noting what she is producing? What does what I see in the toilet tell me? I will heed your opinion on this one.

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Teen withholds her stools


Author:
Joyce
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Date Posted: Sunday, December 15, 2024, 02:23: am

Shelly,

Having sitter use the knee-chest like position using the pillow as you suggest with you kneeling on the floor on her left side will give you essentially the same access to her anus and rectum as having her on your lap, possibly better. It will also allow the enemas to flow more easily into her because there will be less pressure on her belly. I suggest you discuss this with her to let her know you value her opinion and let her choose which way she prefers.

As to examining the toilet after she expels each enema, I again suggest you seek her opinion rather than forcing her to let you look. You might just discover that she isn't sensitive as you believe. Again letting her know that you value her opinion will only serve to enhance her trust.

There are several things we may discover from examining the toilet after she expells, including:

1 - blood in the stool - this is a "red flag" that requires medical attention
2 - how well the soap breaks up solid stool
3 - signs of diverticulitis

I'm sure there are other things I can't think of now. If she is opposed to your checking, try to get her to agree to just checking after the second rinse.

- Joyce

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