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Subject: We had a big cry together Author: Shelly (Sitter is so scared) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: Sunday, December 29, 2024, 11:10: pm Andrea, I caught her holding Thurs. It had been four days since her enemas the previous Sun. She has been coming to me every time with large lumps of small stool clumped together in a large hard stool in her rectum. Her rectum has to be having her contractions trying to get her to evacuate. Tonight I got her undressed and on the toilet to sit for 10 minutes to try to go for me. No luck. So I've got her over my leg for her suppository and there is stool literally right at her anus, got it on my finger immediately before even starting insertion of her suppository. I stopped and put her back on the toilet and gave her a balloon and told her to blow it up. She pooped. And then she started crying and said that this is all so hard for her because when her body makes her go to the bathroom it makes her feel dirty and disgusting. And that the enemas are so awful because she has to be on the toilet for so long feeling dirty and disgusting getting everything out. I held her and we cried together. I told her I understood. I said "remember I told you I was much younger when I started holding but I held too and it is a hard habit to break but we have to work on it". Tonight before her enemas I had her sit again and blow up a balloon and told her she had to let it out. She did after several minutes. Since she doesn't live with me and since her and her mom cannot stay off of each other's throats over her toileting I just want to get her to her appointment late Jan. and hopefully she will go home with some answers and some help. On Sundays I've been doing a two part two and a half soapsuds enemas. I give one very warm quart and then have her lie on the floor and hold it for ten minutes. The back over my knee with that quart still in her and a quart and a half of very soapy enema. Then let her on the toilet right away. She then gets a two quart rinse enema and it comes out mostly just light colored water and no formed stool. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Monday, December 30, 2024, 12:03: am I lost my train of thought. It was Thurs. afternoon that she had stool right at her anus that her rectum had squished from the normal hard lumps pushed together to form one large stool. She had been holding against the contractions and her rectal muscles was starting to squish the stool and make it mushy. When she pooped I could clearly see that it started out being the stool she has always had which is small formed lumps clumped together. This stool Thurs. was getting squeezed and deformed and mushy right at her anus. So Thurs was when I came up with the blowing up a balloon for the first time not tonight. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Monday, December 30, 2024, 04:49: am Shelly, You now know why she holds. Having a BM makes her feel dirty and disgusting. She needs to start looking at having a BM as clean and refreshing. She is fighting a mental battle. It will take time and healing. You are helping her because she is constipated by holding. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: Andrea [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Monday, December 30, 2024, 10:53: am Shelly, Her brain and her rectum have been in this fight over waste evacuation for years now. She is pretty much just a long for the ride. She can not just flip a switch and say I'm done with all this nonsense. She probably would like to now that she is getting those awful enemas. In fact she is coming to you to get her colon emptied because she does want the madness to stop. The situation with her mother is such that there in no path forward right now for healing with her mother monitoring her bowel movements. She unwittingly opened a door for healing when you invited her to help give one of your boys his weekly enema. She made a cry for help to you at that moment and thank goodness you responded to her. She also probably likes to keep all her perineal hair shaved for the same reason. It makes her feel dirty or less feminine with pubic hair around her vulva and anus. It has become an obsession to her down there between her legs. Give her sympathy and understanding but keep her emptied every three and a half days until her mother can get her some more detailed professional intervention program started. She gets some sense of justice for herself having retentive behavior by helping with your boy's enemas. She wants to see to it that they don't end up like her. She may not consciously think it but she likes giving them enemas because she should have gotten them when she started holding in her stools years ago. I agree with AV. Encourage her to take over your 4 year old's enemas too. I'll bet just like she fights with her mother about Fleet enemas but not you that he might not fight her just like his older brother does not fight her. It is healing for her to give them their enemas. Awesome job keeping her colon from backing up and getting a chance to heal. Do what ever you have to to keep her coming for her enemas. You are an angel for helping her. I mean that. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: Kitten Paw (told you so!) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2025, 12:15: pm I told you the worst part for her is when she has to get on the toilet because you forced her there with the enema you just put in her. Mom will walk in on me to see how I'm doing getting everything back out and that is worse then her having me naked on my bed and putting the enema in me. She got so emotional and started crying because it was so intense for her with you standing there watching her on the toilet trying to get her to have a bowel movement in front of you. But that maybe is the best way to break her. Make her do the sitting and face her fear of her feeling dirty but getting it out anyway. You are suppose to face your phobia fears not run from them. Make her sit and have a bowel movement without the suppository. She can do it if she is as full as you say she always is when she comes to you. So AV, sorry but my besty girly friend had to go back home Sunday because my mom was sick and our house was chaotic. I wanted so bad to see her get an enema but oh well. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2025, 12:31: pm Kitten paw, If your BFF is serious about getting an enema from your mom, she will be back. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: Shelly [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2025, 06:32: pm She has just left and I didn't make her have an enema today because we got a bowel movement without the suppository and I felt it would be okay to reward her with no enema. I told her to be here again Fri. afternoon and if she is able to poop without the suppository again we can wait until Sun. for her clean out enemas. Since she doesn't live with us if I can get her to poop every other day or three then we can empty her colon every Sun. and her colon will still be getting the rest it needs. We did have to work at it. I lubed her as soon as she got undressed to help maybe getting her anus and rectum a little stimulated. After about 7 minutes and no success I had her get up and just walk around the living room and back to bathroom for a few minutes and then sit again. A few times blowing up a balloon. Finally on her second sit she let it out. I told her how proud I was of her and no enema today. It was stressful for her but she acts so relieved like a huge weight has been lifted off her once the stool is in the toilet and she can get up and be done with it all. It is so much work for her emotionally to let her bowels empty. I feel so bad she goes through this. The mind is so mysterious how it will fight with itself about something so simple as pooping. While she was sitting to distract her from worrying about me being in there monitoring her we talked about how my 7 year old likes her giving him his enema because she isn't mean and that my 4 year old listens to him talk about her giving enemas without being mean and if she wants to try working with him about his enema this Sun. then if she comes a little early we will get her clean out done and then hubby and I will go for an afternoon lunch and she can try to work her magic with both our boys. She was hesitant. What if he fights her? I just told her don't let him hurt you. When we get home she and I can give him his enema then. So she is for it. She said it does make her feel better about having to have enemas here at my house because my boys need the enemas too. Kitten Paw you are right about taking phobias head on. My hubby went through therapy about a horrible phobia he has of yellow jacket wasps. He isn't afraid of bees, other smaller species of wasps, other insects. But we all most all died one day in the car when he was driving and looked down and a yellow jacket was on his pant leg. We ended up in the ditch with a wrecked car. His therapy included daily pictures or videos looking at yellow jackets. He is better now. Won't wreck our car if he sees one. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: AV [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Wednesday, January 01, 2025, 08:12: pm Shelly, All good reports. Im so proud of the sitter. I just can’t stop thinking about how you said you wished you could give her an enema and I know this is enema therapy but here you are, actually helping her though face a fear through all of this. Proud of you Shelly. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: Andrea [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Thursday, January 02, 2025, 07:26: am Shelly, My 10 year old has a fight going on in her own mind as well. She is a holder but she is not allowed to hold because she gets an 8oz. bulb syringe enema every night before bed. She is very capable and has my permission to give herself her enema. She will come and harass me if I'm doing dishes or laundry or something and she thinks it is time for her enema because there is no way she can make herself do the enema on her own. Your sitter comes to you because she feels so great now and has energy and appetite and no tummy aches while at the same time dreading you having her on the toilet to force bowel movements from her. Repetition and consistency is her path to recovery. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: We had a big cry together Author: Sue (UK) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: Thursday, January 09, 2025, 04:33: pm I can't compute "make her face her fear of feeling dirty" by presenting bowel movements as "clean and refreshing". It sounds ridiculous. There's a reason we all learn as children to call it things like doing a dirty, doing a smelly, doing muck etc - we have to live with that fact, from the moment as babies we recognise our mother making "d'eww!" noises of disgust when changing nappies and emptying potties, we know we have no choice but to treat the act of expelling excrement with simultaneous embarrassment and "respect". It "is" filth, it "is" toxic waste, and that's why we have to expel it frequently and copiously. Most children and young persons go through phases of trying to defy this reality - and that's part of the reason why enemas and suppositories were invented, and that's certainly why mothers watch over them in the toilet when they're trying (not) to do some dooey - poised to attack with the purgatives. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]