Re: Today I am Noticing -- A White Hot Forum

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Subject: Re: Today I am Noticing

Author:
Cassie

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Date Posted: 00:51:58 07/03/01 Tue
In reply to: Cassie 's message, "Today I am Noticing" on 00:08:45 07/03/01 Tue

This terror is my lifelong companion and my main area of avoidance. Saying "yes" to it seems to be my primary life task now. I am good for nothing until I stop avoiding this place, until I stop the incessant, hypermasculine, addictive activities of my mind and body in the effort to avoid feeling this terror.

So first the "yes" to the terror along with the "no" to the addictions. I'm a simple addict here, basically realizing that I am at Step #1 of the twelve steps.

And while I am here IN this terror I can't attend properly to anything else. It consumes my attention. It's a no brainer. The only way I can use my mind well is to numb this feeling. Well, no more.

I speak this here because there may be witnesses. You are my 12 step group. No more.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Screwed	Cassie	00:58:40 07/03/01 Tue

Re: Screwed	Kyla	05:30:02 07/03/01 Tue
Screwed up? Fall down. -- Cassie, 10:42:19 07/03/01 Tue Re: Still Life With Prunes -- Kyla, 15:19:26 07/03/01 Tue Abstinence becomes inspiring -- Cassie, 01:50:56 07/04/01 Wed Re: Abstinence becomes inspiring -- Kyla, 05:18:12 07/04/01 Wed