Subject:  Re: Coah Renark? |
Author:
Dad
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Date Posted: 06/26/06 1:39am
In reply to:
Damien
's message, "Re: Coah Renark?" on 06/25/06 5:08am
It's so great to hear from you, Dam. I'm so thrilled, really. lol Hey, that was so great having coffe with you this morning. I'm going to stick around here in NY for another week. Carrie, that's my gf, she's going to drop in for a few days to see her best friend, so we'll be at the penthouse. I'd love for her to meet you. She's probably as close to a step-mom as you'll ever get from me. lol
Ah, she's beautiful, Dam. You'll like her. She's a real brain and did I mention,s he's beautiful? lol Great legs, great body, gorgeous eyes. sometimes, I look at her and think, Damn, someone up there must reallylike me, cuz I sure don't deserve someone as wonderful as her in my life, you know? lol She's really fun and funny, too. I mean, really funny. She can make me laugh for hours, no joke. She can also make me cry, cuz she's so damn hot in bed, but that's all I'll say about that. I mean, that's not what I want you to be thinking about when you meet her. lol
So, let's double date. We could go to dinner and a movie or Oh! I know, we could take the CAT out on the River. Yeah, let's go sailing. HOw bout it? She's supposed to get her Tomorrow and I know she'll want to see Bri first, so I probly won't see her until Tuesday night. Maybe we could sail on Wednesday.
So, how's it feel to be a multi-millionaire, dude? lol In other words, did you like your Birthday present from your old man? I figured, a bank account with a nifty few mil would be the gift that keeps on giving, you know? And I really want you to go to college. That's a must, so you pick the school and I'll pay for all of it, school, books, dorm/housing, whatever. K? That's real important.
>Wow - that's alot more exciting that what I've been
>doing lol.
LOL Yeah, well, after Cody and his boys died and Hav was with them, too, btw, um, I dunno. I just lost it for a long time. I think if it wasn't for CT (Carrie) and you, I dunno, I probly would've killed myself. So, I knew I just had to do something to stay busy. I retired from Music. Just lost the will, ya know? i wanted to just float for awhile, I guess. Be purposeless, but after awhile, that just got too dull. Then, I found out that the gov't needed a celebrity to catch this really evil criminal. He was real blu-blood, so they needed someone who could swing in that kind of circle. The only thing was I had to kind of drop off the grid for awhile, cuz I didn't want the bad guys to be able to find and kill you if something went wrong. But, it was pretty fun and kept me busy while I was trying to heal. And, as long as CT was with me, it was all good. *g*
>
>Yeah - I'm really nervous. I don't think I'll actually
>go through with it. But I love her. Well she's smart,
>she's clever, she's gorgeous, quirky, and really
>artsy. And I love her alot. She's turning 20. Kate was
>actually the one that proposed so it was kind of weird
>trying to turn it down. lol. But I mean - I love her.
>She loves me. I just don't think I can get married
>right now. I'd rather she just move in or something
>atleast for awhile.
Yeah, you know, there's plenty of time for getting married. I mean, your mom would kill me if she heard me right now, but seriously, you don't have to get married. If you love her that much, ask her to move in with you and you can make sure it's gonna work first you know?
Will she go with you to Columbia if you go? That seems like an exciting place to live. I can't wait to meet Kate. What's she look like? Do you think you'll lose her if you say no to the whole marriage thing? You could always say "yes" and just plan for the wedding to happen in 5-10 years. lol jk
Do whatever makes you happy and feel good, ok? That's my best advice for you, Kid. I just want you to be happy, OK? You do whatever you can to be happy. Life's just too short to spend any time being miserable.
So, is she your only gf or do you take after me with the ladies? Personally, I hope you don't in that way, cuz it can be hell if you don't have an understanding gf. I got lucky with CT, cuz she's awesome about it. She's basically just like me. lol We just like to have fun. But, if I was going to be a dad again, it would ONLY be with her and she feels the same way, vv.
>>
>I quit dancing a long time ago because it was getting
>too complicated. I didn't want to live my life on the
>road - I didn't have time for anything. SO - right now
>I'm wanting to go to Columbia and try to pursue an art
>degree. Then - I dunno just start painting and stuff.
>I really like having a simple life - you know? I was
>brought up in such a - hectic house and we had so much
>money I want to try something new.
That's good, Son. I mean, being on the road all the time, working all the fucking time, it's just really hard to have any kind of life, like you said, you know? Especially if you want to make a family sometime. IT can be done, but it's really hard if you're not married to their mother cuz then it's like you're dividing your time between the road, and then you're on the road to see your kids and then you're on the road to try to go home and sleep a little, and then you're on the road for work and then you're on the road to tour. Yeah, it can be reallys tressful. it hink you made the right choice.
Ah, yes, the simple life. I did it for awhile. Me and Carrie. It was wonderful. We decided to be monogamous for awhile and we were planning to get pregnant. So, we just lived on my boat for a few years. it was really fun. Just the two of us, the captain and only one maid (I didn't want to do the laundry and you know me, I suck at cleaning. I didn't want CT to clean up after me either. That would've been doom to the relationship. Besides, I had other ideas about how we should be spending our time. *wink* lol) So, yeah, the simple life has alot of perks. :) Another good choice, Son.
>>
>I really want money for college.
You got it.
>>
>I'm glad :) I haven't had a computer for awhile now.
>Which kind of sucks - and I lost your phone number(s)
>and I had pretty much no clue how you were doing. But
>when I see you in the tabloids at a 42nd Street
>newspaper stand it reassures me you're alive and well.
>Lol.
Oh, man, that sucks. You know what? I had to get rid of the phones anyway while I went underground, so you couldn't have gotten in touch with me even if you had them. Don't worry about it. :) I didn't want you to be able to find me. Didn't want anything bad to happen to you.
>>
>Okay now. I dunno - things happen for a reason. It's
>really made me mature alot more. I started doing some
>really bad shit right after she died but I ended up in
>rehab. Mostly for the heroin.
Oh, wow. If I'd known, I would've been there for you, Dam. I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. But, I'm so proud of you for kickin' it. What'd you do? The steps or did you go in a clinic or what? How're you doin' now with that? Is there any way I can help you? Just let me know, ok?
But I'm better now - I
>still drink alot. I'm trying to cut back.
Yeah, me too. After Cody and Have and my grandsons died, I really flipped out and went on a really long bender. Scared Carrie half out of her mind, poor woman. She helped me out of that. She had this really unique technique to get me to stop drinking too much. lol When I'd head over to the bar, she'd strip and head to the bedroom. So, I had this choice, but it was a real no brainer, righ? I mean, yeah, I'm really gonna take a drink over fucking my woman, right? I was grieving, but I wasn't insane. lol
I just
>really miss her. It's like an anti-depressant. It
>really is. And of course I'm saying this when I'm not
>even 21 yet. Hah.
I know how you feel. When I broke up with Addie, long time ago, before you were even born, before I met your mom, too (I think, course, I might've met your mom before I broke up with Addie. Very possible, but I know that nothing happened between your mom and me until after I broke up with Addie) Anyway, uh, I missed her for years. I just missed that closeness and being able to hang out with her, you know? So, yeah, I get it, Dude. All I can say is that the intensity of grief will lessen as time goes by. But, you'll never stop missing her. She was your mom, ya know? That's reallys pecial. And, she was a GREAT mom, too. :)
Well, jsut don't drive when you drink, ok? I'm gonna hire a guy to drive you around until you're doing better with this, oK? We don't want anything to happen to you or Kate. To be honest, I dont' think my heart could take losing you, too, Dam.
If you want to go through rehab for the drinking, too, just let me know. I'll go with you. :) Seriously, I will. And it'll be on me. MY treat. Ha!
>
>Wow. That's quite an exciting story. You should write
>a book. Lol.
LOL I did, but I dint' talk about this. I've never talked about this with anyone. Not even Wolf and he's my bff.
>
>
>I do. I really do. Nothing's going to change. It's
>just good too know why I turned out not really looking
>like you at all. Lol.
LOL Yeah, I guess that is kinda obvious, huh? You're a good lookin' kid, but yeah, we're not exactly twins. I should've told you sooner, I guess, but it's really not the nicest thing to talk about and I really didn't want you to look at your mom any differently, either. I loved her Dam. I really did. And, man, did I ever want her. She's the only gf I've ever had who wouldn't sleep with me. Drove me crazy! I did talk her into sleeping in my bed with me, but it was the most frustrating night of my life. Damn, still couldn't talk her into any more than that that night. lol It really sucked. lmao! I had a lot of respect for her, though. And I guess she wanted that more than romance or something. I dunno. She was funny that way. Good girl, though. Gotta love her.
Hey, your gf's not like that is she? Holding out for marriage and all that. If she is, run the other way, Man. lol
I always wondered if I was
>adopted honestly.
You were, with all my heart I adopted you. :) Couldn't ahve been happier about it, either. The only thing I wished I could've changed was how often I got to see you, but your mom didn't want you to travel with me. I mean, the times I got to take you one the road with me, I think it was about one week a year! lol I had to beg on my knees for it. She thought I'd be a bad influence on you, or forget you or something. She wasn't the biggest fan of my lifestyle. lol That's ok, though. I understood. She was really protective. I had some worries for awhile that she'd turn you into a mama's boy, cuz she was so overprotective, but you had ot understand--she'd been kidnapped and terrorized, so she couldn't help being so careful about you, you know? That's why I was so shocked when she told me that she was goin to let you go on the road with your troupe. I really was stunned--and relieved! lol You needed that independence. You were always so responsible, even when you were a kid. And you needed to get away from all those brothers and sisters. Damn! I remember when you ran away. Remember that? They were driving you crazy. I told her, you gotta let up on the kid, Em. He's a little man and needs some space away from all those girls! sisters! lol She actually listened to me. Probably the only time. lol jk
Because I'm so fair. I look just
>like I'm tan pretty much. And I know my mom wasn't
>really dark - but I always looked so much different. I
>think that guy was probably white. I'm glad you
>didn't tell me when I was younger.
Yeah, I think he was too. I mean, Em didn't talk about him to me too much, understandably. He might've had some asian in him, too, I think. Cuz, like your eyes look sort of asian to me. Dont' you think? At least, when you were a teen and in TS1 you did. But, maybe you're different now that you're in TS2? My looks changed big time when I got here. I hated it, but now I'm used to is. Just really miss my dreadlocks. lol Remember my hair? It was so long. CArrie loved it. I thought she'd think I was butt-ugly without them. Made me so nervous, but she doesn't seem to miss them too badly.
>>And I still think of you as my father. Lance was
>always there for me - but I felt like you and me had a
>connection like a father and like a son. I wouldn't
>never take that back.
I've got tears in my eyes now. See what you did to me? lol Seriously, though. I'm really touched. I always thought we had a good connection,t oo. I was always really scared that if you found out the truth, you'd hate me, or you jsut wouldn't want me around anymore after you found out. Your mom wanted to tell you when you were like 14 or so and you were having all those problems. I begged her not to tell you. I hope you won't be mad at me, because I was a selfish bastard. I still am, though. IF it wasn't your mom's dying wish, I wouldn't ahve ever told you, Bud. It would've killed me if you'd rejected me as your dad. Seriously, it would've. I just, ugh, I just was so scared. I'm not scared of shit, too, but THAT scared me.
I'm kind of shocked but I mean -
>I think anybody would be. Lol.
Sure, totally understandable.
>
>I can't think of anything right now but thank you :)
Oh, wrong answer, Dude. lol If a billionaire says name it and claim it, you gotta name somethin'! lol jk I know, we can go look at cars this week if you want. I need to get one for myself. I'm thinking about getting Mazerati Spyder. Think I'd look good in that? lol Listen, if you cut down, significatnly on the drinking, I'll get you a Hog. :) You'd look good on a Harley, don't ya think? And, man, it's such a rush to drive around your gf on one of those. You can sit there with her arms squeezing you tight and the wind wipping through her hair. Hot. :) Until then, we'll hook you up with a nice Rolls and a driver this week. Sound good?
Well, gotta go. I've got this Pretty Persian Kitty coming over in about 15 minutes to spend the night with me. She's really cute, but too high maintenance for my tastes. Even so, she'll keep me company tonight. Can't wait for you to meet Carrie though. She's really special. I know you'll dig her. TTYL,
>
Love,
Dad
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