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Date Posted: 07:58:55 03/21/05 Mon
Author: Martan (Sarri)
Subject: Dragonrider

Of all the places in Pern, this was Martan’s favourite place to be. Outside the Weyr on a summer’s evening, surrounded by the fruit trees and the flowers and the other plants. Someone had taken the time to make a bench out of planks of wood, and Martan had claimed it long ago as his seating-place when he was out here – though of course, he wouldn’t turn anyone away from it.

Sarri dozed on his lap in the warm sunlight, her golden hide warm and shining against the simple brown cloth of her human’s trousers. Every so often she would stir a little, and open one whirling eye, just to check that her Martan was alright. She considered it her duty to make sure he didn’t get upset by anything, and as such, the little queen performed her task faithfully. Martan was staring into space, as usual, his eyes fixed on nothing in particular – only the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest verifying that he was still alive.

Though only in his mid-forties, Martan often felt much older. Maybe it was the fact that he continually saw people around him with dragons, maybe it was his tendency to sit and think rather than get out and do things. But older he did feel, and almost every day he could be seen out here, not even thinking about anything. For some it was a sad sight – even a reminder of the time when he had lost his sanity – but for Martan it was a way of survival. He needed time to sit and calm himself, to just clear his head and not be anyone for a while. Some people drank alcohol, some people took fellis. Martan sat and meditated.

And whenever Sarri chirped to make him move, it was a loss. Somehow Martan knew that if he just stayed like that, and didn’t move, or think, or talk, then he could feel Solarith again. If you had asked him, he wouldn’t have known he knew that. But he did – and each time his fire-lizard brought him back to reality, he felt such a loss…because he knew, he knew, that if he had stayed like that for just one more second, he would have been able to brush minds with his dragon.

But he never did. And deep in his heart, he knew he never would.

Alone is alone, not alive...

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