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Date Posted: 20:01:20 12/29/05 Thu
Author: Kande's Sis, limping
Subject: KS limps out of the post office
In reply to: Kande's Sis, flat on a gurney 's message, "You know how we can fix this and save you a trip? says Large Marge" on 11:43:52 12/28/05 Wed

She gets into the passenger side of the ambulance and slams the door. Large Marge looks over at her.

"Why are you limping? Has your toe gotten worse?"

"Naw," KS shifts in her seat and Large Marge and her goons can see that KS has removed her sock and her big toe is swaddled in gauze. "The podiatrist had set up shop in one corner of the Post Office so I had him take care of it."

Marge gulped. "He removed your toenail?"

"Just a portion of it. See?" KS holds up a silver chain with a ragged bloody portion of toenail hanging from a link as a pendant. Marge and the goons draw back. "He says it's the rage with all his assassin clients."

Marge averts her eyes and starts the ambulance. "Eeww--right."

A goon leans over the front seat. "Did you get a package?"

KS's eyes narrow and she whips her hand backwards, gripping the goon by the throat. She indicates her lap. "Does it look like I have a package?"

"No," the goon manages to whisper and KS releases him. The other goons pull him back while he massages his throat.

KS brightens. "The podiatrist did have an extra toenail and I had him wrap one up for the Mayor. Good thing, because I left all my other presents for her at the house."

Meanwhile...back at the Klub, the Mayor is counting the number of patrons present against the number of packages at her feet. Her face grim, she stands to announce that three people hadn't graced her with presents that day.

"I made you this eyeglass holder out of a tin can, rickrack, and glitter," one tourist tells her nervously.

The Mayor eyes it critically. "I like it. Ingenious." She hands it to Rabid who includes it with the stack of unwrapped gifts. "Next."

The next tourist hands her a toothpick made from a pipe cleaner scrounged from Kande's junk drawer. "I made this with my own two little hands." He winks at a couple of tourists next to him and jauntily begins to walk away.

"I don't like it. Give me something else."

The tourist jerks around. "What? It's a gift! You have to accept it! I don't have any more money to buy you anything from..." he eyes Kande and Bubba venomously, "these extortionists."

"Then I suggest you perform a service for the Mayor," IG and CW fold their arms and stand in front of the tourist.

"You mean?"

"No, no, you're not my type." The Mayor looks disgusted. She eyes him for a minute and then brightens. "I know! I need a whipping boy!"

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