"Yes. Please do." Kande says, glaring at the little witch. -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 03:16:07 09/12/03 Fri
Author: kande, who really has to deal with "A" and a little witch
Subject: "Yes. Please do." Kande says, glaring at the little witch.
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "Meanwhile, back at the Klub" on 06:49:59 09/09/03 Tue

"Just make sure it hurts. A lot."

KS salutes her assent to Kande, then moseys over to the little witch. "Hey," she says to the little witch by way of greeting. "There's something out back I want to show you."

The little witch stares at her while chanting, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh." She blinks, then says, "Want a cookie? Thanks for all your help. I know how busy you are."

Not the response KS expected. She quickly gathers herself and knocks the cookies out of LW's hands. Kande starts to object at the mess her sister is making, but decides it's a small price to pay if it gets LW out of her life. KS grabs LW by the ear, pulls her off her bar stool, and drags her out back. LW is yammering the whole way: "Thank you so much! We'd be lost without you! I know how busy you are! Would you like some maple candy?"

Strangers begin pouring into the bar. Bubba pours drinks for the newcomers and Kande rings up the ever-inflating drink prices. CW, parked in her usual spot, has to move her knitting bag several times. She huffs, then asks Bubba, "Who are these people? Why are they here?"

Bubba shrugs. Of course, he knows why; he just doesn't want to let on that he knows. It's all part of some bigger plot of his to take over Shipperville. But that's a story for another day.

"Excuse me!" CW taps one of the strangers on the shoulder with a knitting needle. "Excuse me! Who are you people and why are you here?"

The stranger rubs his shoulder where CW poked him and notices a small amount of blood. He takes a step back before responding. "We all used to work with the little witch. She is a controlling, micro-managing, inarticulate moron, and nobody likes her. We heard that there was a fundraiser here today that involved torturing LW, so we all cashed out our 401(k)'s and came directly here."

"Fundraiser?" Kande frowns, wondering what her sister is up to. It isn't at all like her to use torture as a philanthropic gesture. Deciding she needs to get more info, she leaves Bubba alone at the bar and heads out back. KS is just winding up the garden hose.

"What are you doing?"

KS smiles triumphantly. "I've set up the perfect torture mechanism that can involve multiple people and raise money!"

"What is it?"

"See?" KS points to a box-like structure in the middle of the courtyard. "It's one of those dunking machines. You know, where you throw the baseball and try to dunk the person inside?"

"So what's so torturous about that?"

"Several things. First, there's no glass protecting her from mis-thrown balls. Second, she's wearing cement shoes and the water is slightly deeper than she is tall. Third, I'm trying to decide if I want to use piranhas or boiling water. I wish I could do both, but I don't think the piranhas would survive the boiling. If A ever shows up, we can do this to him as well."

Kande tents her fingers. "Excellent."

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Replies:

And the fundraiser is for...? -- Kande's Sis, 07:25:19 09/12/03 Fri
- "A new car, eh?" Kande stares at the blank rear bumper. -- kande, 10:16:43 09/12/03 Fri
  - The Young Librarian's Club push out... -- Kande's Sis, 10:03:41 09/13/03 Sat
    - "Are you sure?" Kande asks CW. -- kande, 08:16:59 09/15/03 Mon
      - KS motions to a Young Librarian -- Kande's Sis, 20:28:24 09/15/03 Mon
And the fundraiser is for...? -- Kande's Sis, 07:27:02 09/12/03 Fri