VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 07:29:10 12/12/03 Fri
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: A new face comes to Shipperville

Scully99 clutches her little pink handbag in one hand and a special invitation in the other as she gingerly enters the swinging doors to Kande's Klub. A woman in black spandex bicycle shorts and a tee shirt depicting a stick person on a bike waves her over as soon as she enters. The little green alien next to spandex-woman watches her impassively.

"Are you Kande?" Scully99 asks tentatively.

"Yup, proud owner of this fine establishment!" Kande slaps the bar for emphasis while the alien rolls his eyes and sloshes a rootbeer down in front of Scully99. She settles on the barstool in front of it. Kande gestures towards the alien. "And this is my barkeep, Bubba."

"Er...I didn't order rootbeer." Seeing how Kande and the alien just stare at her, Scully99 quickly changes her mind. "Rootbeer will be delightful." She takes a quick sip as her eyes dart from side to side.

The klub is practically deserted. There's a stage near the back where a lone figure dances in a speedo. Scully99 blinks, and then blinks again. The figure is a ringer for Mulder. But would Mulder be doing THAT with a pole? Just as she opens her mouth to ask, there's a clatter at the door.

The door swings open and a woman with her hair in a ponytail and a sheriff's outfit holds it open. "All rise for the Mayor of Shipperville!" The sheriff announces importantly.

Scully99 looks around at Kande and the little alien. The alien is insolently slouching against the refrigerator behind the bar, but Kande is standing to attention. Even the spikes on her hair are quivering upright. Who is this Mayor that everyone acts like she is visiting Royalty? Scully99 sighs and slides off her barstool and faces the doorway.

She jumps as a lean figure in camouflage pants and blinding white tee shirt leaps in the room, gun drawn. "All clear, Mayor!" she hollers over her shoulder, pointing her gun directly at Scully99. Scully99 clutches her pink handbag to her chest for meagre protection. The woman with the gun snorts and holsters the gun in what looks like a utility belt filled with weapons. Scully99 gasps as a figure in a deep red velvet dress lined with fur saunters into the room, followed by a shorter woman with knitting needles.

The woman in velvet waves regally to the empty corners of the room and then spies Scully99. She makes a beeline for her. "And you must be Scully99!" she gushes. "I," she pauses for effect, "am the Mayor."

"Long may she live!" the others intone in bored voices.

The Mayor glares at them and then her gaze softens as she looks again at Scully99. "And how are you enjoying the duplex, Dear?"

"I didn't rent the duplex, Mayor," Scully99 informs her. "I got an e-mail from K..."

The woman with the gun jabs Scully99 sharply in the ribs. "I saw Scully99 and a moving van in front of that ramshackle Victorian down the street. That must be where she moved."

"Well." the Mayor huffs frostily. "And what else have you
observed about our new resident, KS?"

KS looks Scully99 up and down while Scully99 frowns at her. "She'll give you a run for your money with those clothes, Mayor. And she's married," she points to a wedding band, "and she likes the clone in the speedo in the back. I saw her salivating over him when I came in the Klub."

"I was NOT salivating!"

KS just grins. The Sheriff takes this opportunity to introduce herself. "I'm Sheriff Stardoe," she says extending a hand to shake with Scully99. "I'm also the town scientist. I made that fellow you've been salivating over with Mulder's DNA. I've perfected cloning, but you can't tell anyone outside of Shipperville."

"Or then we'd have to kill you." KS informs her happily. "And I've got the perfect array of weapons in which to do it."

Scully99 starts inching herself away from KS and a little closer to the Sheriff. Surely the Sheriff would arrest this, this, would-be assassin if she tried anything!

The Sheriff notices what she's doing and chuckles. "KS is our town assassin. She's also a mighty fine dentist if you have a toothache. Of course, she would prefer to pull teeth rather than fill them," the Sheriff probes an empty space in the back of her mouth, sees KS's eyes narrow and quickly adds, "but we love her all the same!"

"Yes, indeedy!" all the others add quickly, tongues probing the empty spaces in their own mouths.

The woman with the knitting needles takes this opportunity to introduce herself. "I'm CW from the frozen tundra which is Minnesota," she comes forward to shake hands with Scully99 and accidently stabs her in the palm with a knitting needle. "Oops!" To Scully99's astonishment, CW upends the hollow needle and takes a sip.

"You're an alcoholic?"

CW is outraged. "Of course not! It's hot chocolate. They rarely serve it in here."

Scully99 gazes at the motley crew surrounding her. "Are you the only residents?"

"There's IG who primarily toils away at fanfic over at the newspaper office, Rabid the librarian," the Mayor starts.

"She's the one with the baby slugs! So darling," CW murmurs.

"Don't forget Rabid's Aunt Madge, a doctor and lawyer," Stardoe adds, shuddering. "What a combination."

"And me! Don't forget me!" a voice calls from the doorway.

"Detoured?" Scully99 can't believe this is the same woman she met at the Get Smart dinner. Detoured is dressed in underwear over tights and a cape. Just as she bounds into the room, the cape wraps itself tightly around her legs, causing her to stumble and do a somersault.

The Sheriff gets up, rubbing her head where she'd hit it on the bar after Det had knocked her down. "Look at these khaki's! I just had them cleaned." She tries to wipe the dripping rootbeer from the knee of her pants.

Kande peers closely. "Are those MY pants?"

Stardoe gulps. "KS loaned them to me." In moments, Kande, KS, and Stardoe are rolling in a ball, thrashing at each other.

Scully99 feels faint. "Is it always like this around here?"

The Mayor grins at her. "Welcome to Shipperville!"

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.