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Date Posted: 21:51:26 08/12/04 Thu
Author: Mitch
Subject: Re: good choice Mitch
In reply to: Nick T. 's message, "good choice Mitch" on 09:47:14 08/09/04 Mon

Thank you Nick,

I have been reading the different posts and discussions, and other websites about ubf. I read somewhere that in some chapters violence is used by the shepherd to make the sheep obey. I also read other incedents of voilence. I was again shocked, it is unbeleiveable. It made me wonder if anyone in the chapter I was in would be violent. I am not going back. I am returning all their stuff tomorrow, (I have too, I cannot keep their stuff). Otherwise I would just never go back. If anyone is there of course they will want to know why I am returning the stuff, and I will tell them I am leaving the church. Of course I plan on being there when nobody should be there. I will maybe write them a note next week (monday, or tuesday). I do not feel obligated to do anything else. I am just not sure whether or not they may come to visit me in order to talk me into coming back. Or whether they may have a voilent reaction.

It is really difficult for me to think that they could be violent. But if other chapters could, so can this one. I also struggle with whether or not the leader here in a con man or just decieved himself. Some of me wants to think that he was deceived when he entered ubf, and thinks he is on the right path. But I also tend to think he is a big part of the con. I feel sorry for his children, I can see that his two older children do not like ubf, but they seem like they will be there forever. There is a "second generation" shepherd there, he seems to be very genuine. I just wonder how much he knows. He is in his mid-twenties.

Anyway, I am never going back, regardless. I read the different stories here and can't believe it. I don't know how anyone can want so much power, and how others can follow someone who does. I don't know how anyone can read the Bible then try to use it for their own gain and in the process destroy peoples lives.

I'll be in touch,
Mitch


>Dear Mitch,
>
>I think it is very fortunate for you to pull out of
>the ubf just before they really turn up the pressure.
>The arranged marriage game at ubf is the time of ubf
>directors basking in their glory, that they were able
>to usurp a young person's most important choice of
>life (except for accepting the free grace of Jesus
>Christ, one time for all time)
>
>The ubf is a shepherding system, not simply to recruit
>people but to control them for the rest of their days.
> They use shepherding in a thousand different ways to
>control a person. When you add arranged marriage to
>the shepherding model, you have dangerous situation
>where the ubf leader pits one spouse against the other
>permanently. The ubfleader will make sure that he is
>closer to one spouse than the two spouses are to each
>other.
>
>If you had married a Korean spouse, then you would
>naturally be the odd man out. The wife would be more
>loyal to the ubfleader than to you. This is one of
>the dirtiest tricks of the ubf. These kinds of
>mfamilies are never happy. I know of two American
>guys who married ubfKorean women and then the family
>got out together, but the families are not harmonious
>thought they got out many years ago. (In Germany now,
>ALL the marriages are arranged with one German and one
>Korean. The ubfleaders clearly communicated the
>threat that if a family tries to resist control, then
>the Korean spouse will be sent back to Korean and the
>family detroyed. It looks like they are doing the
>same in Russia also.)
>
>Apparently you were not so close to the ubfleader that
>you could be the one they would count on to control
>the family thru you. This is good.
>
>Mitch, you will go through a period of withdrawal like
>a divorce or breaking up with a loved one. In a
>sense, ubf tried to romance you and get you all tied
>up emotionally. The sad fact is, when you let them
>know you are no longer 'in love' with them, they will
>hate you. Nobody from ubf will ever call you. Nobody
>from ubf will even admit they once were a friend of
>yours. I think Joe had some links to books and
>articles to read that may help you understand, to get
>you through the pain of leaving this group. It is
>painful to leave a cult. It is much more painful to
>stay in a cult.
>
>Probably the best thing you can do is to just get some
>support from others. There are a number of us who
>would be glad to talk with you. And there may be some
>in your area who would meet with you and give some
>moral and emotional support. I would like to say that
>leaving ubf does not hurt your relationship with God.
>You are actually going to get closer to God because
>you will be eliminating a whole layer of sinful people
>who want to stand in the middle of your relationship
>with God.
>
>You only need to accept Jesus' grace one time in your
>life. At that moment you will be brought from death
>to eternal life. Jesus cannot die every time you
>commit a sin. He died only once, and promised it is
>enough to atone for all the sins of the world, even
>the ones that have not been committed yet.
>
>Mithc, congratulations that you got out before they
>took away your future marriage and family. Please
>feel free to contact any of us, some are very helpful,
>others are not very helpful. But you did for yourself
>the most important move, and that was to get out of
>the ubf. God bless you and yours.

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