VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 09:47:14 08/09/04 Mon
Author: Nick T.
Subject: good choice Mitch
In reply to: Chris 's message, "How my wife and I left" on 01:31:19 08/09/04 Mon

Dear Mitch,

I think it is very fortunate for you to pull out of the ubf just before they really turn up the pressure. The arranged marriage game at ubf is the time of ubf directors basking in their glory, that they were able to usurp a young person's most important choice of life (except for accepting the free grace of Jesus Christ, one time for all time)

The ubf is a shepherding system, not simply to recruit people but to control them for the rest of their days. They use shepherding in a thousand different ways to control a person. When you add arranged marriage to the shepherding model, you have dangerous situation where the ubf leader pits one spouse against the other permanently. The ubfleader will make sure that he is closer to one spouse than the two spouses are to each other.

If you had married a Korean spouse, then you would naturally be the odd man out. The wife would be more loyal to the ubfleader than to you. This is one of the dirtiest tricks of the ubf. These kinds of mfamilies are never happy. I know of two American guys who married ubfKorean women and then the family got out together, but the families are not harmonious thought they got out many years ago. (In Germany now, ALL the marriages are arranged with one German and one Korean. The ubfleaders clearly communicated the threat that if a family tries to resist control, then the Korean spouse will be sent back to Korean and the family detroyed. It looks like they are doing the same in Russia also.)

Apparently you were not so close to the ubfleader that you could be the one they would count on to control the family thru you. This is good.

Mitch, you will go through a period of withdrawal like a divorce or breaking up with a loved one. In a sense, ubf tried to romance you and get you all tied up emotionally. The sad fact is, when you let them know you are no longer 'in love' with them, they will hate you. Nobody from ubf will ever call you. Nobody from ubf will even admit they once were a friend of yours. I think Joe had some links to books and articles to read that may help you understand, to get you through the pain of leaving this group. It is painful to leave a cult. It is much more painful to stay in a cult.

Probably the best thing you can do is to just get some support from others. There are a number of us who would be glad to talk with you. And there may be some in your area who would meet with you and give some moral and emotional support. I would like to say that leaving ubf does not hurt your relationship with God. You are actually going to get closer to God because you will be eliminating a whole layer of sinful people who want to stand in the middle of your relationship with God.

You only need to accept Jesus' grace one time in your life. At that moment you will be brought from death to eternal life. Jesus cannot die every time you commit a sin. He died only once, and promised it is enough to atone for all the sins of the world, even the ones that have not been committed yet.

Mithc, congratulations that you got out before they took away your future marriage and family. Please feel free to contact any of us, some are very helpful, others are not very helpful. But you did for yourself the most important move, and that was to get out of the ubf. God bless you and yours.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:



Post a message:
This forum requires an account to post.
[ Create Account ]
[ Login ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]



Forum timezone: GMT-6
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.