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- "Deficiency" -- Efficacious, 19:12:59 06/30/01 Sat
I'm so used to walking this path-
my shoes are impressed
in these bricks,
and the road back to Kansas
is becoming more disillusioned
with every movement.
I've never had to take a step back from love
but at a safe distance,
I'm quieting the baby's cry
and that's all that matters anymore.
My vulnerable-self
has a way of falling
too deep, too quickly.
And apologies
aren't a net,
but a distraction.
You have yet to open my ribs
and hold my pure heart-
I'm the only one
standing between you two.
And that's what you like least about me-
that I'm in the way of my own perfection.
But to you,
letting go doesn't mean leaving...
it's just falling apart.
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Replies:
-
Dirty -- gizzy, 20:20:08 06/18/01 Mon
dirty lies
gringing through your teeth
fake tears
falling down your cheek
i thought you were the one
but you threw me out the door
in the mud and your spit
which you thought was love.
bruised and homeless
you caused it all
pushing and shoving
you promised no more
there was no divorce
and no child support
threw the ring in the gutter
thought no more and moved on.
rotten lies
truthful grin
no money to spare
used me for everything i had
and dumped me like trash.
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- innocence -- Rusty, 09:49:41 06/16/01 Sat
innocence,
all is bliss
know no happiness
keep the key
while others feel free
let no one in
to your internal sin
only feelings that you know
are ones that hurt you so
darkess is all that sees you
let the vibrance of the moring new
into the precious places
of your silk and laces
all is not well
after your body fell
to secruity from love
you miss out on emotions above
risk the hurt and the pain
and innocence is what you will gain
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Replies:
- Miss you -- skaterchick, 12:37:30 05/23/01 Wed
Reach down deep into my soul
to try to find any feeling.
Pick me up and stay a while.
I love the sound of your voice
and the feel of your kiss
Twisting in the breeze
fluttering down from seemingly no where.
Will you stay with me tonight?
I need you now.
dakr empty corridors
that surround my very thoughts.
Staring at the phone
willing it to ring.
feeling the wind
whip through my hair
and caress my skin
climbing the rungs
of my life.
sometimes falling and
needing to start over.
I miss your kiss
but being single's better.
hold me, touch me
peek into my very soul.
watch the sights around me
go by in slow motion
and i'm still longing
for the feel of your leather
jacket against me
and the scent of your cologne.
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- unhappy -- mags, 16:24:59 05/13/01 Sun
i tried to scrub out
any mention of you
in the diary of my soul
but the ink just won't fade
and no matter how often
i coat your name with white-out
and burn all your images
you shine inside my eyelids
when i sleep at night
haunting me to tears
and desperation for
one sound night
when the wind will not call your name
and i can rest
without you visiting
my unhappy dreams.
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- THINGS THAT I HATE -- maggie, 20:35:09 05/12/01 Sat
people who are mean to their friends
spiders
public speaking
stuff that gets stuck in braces
braces
my dentist
all appliances of my house (read my conspiracy theory)
puppies who bite me
my gym teacher (he thinks i'm a sissy)
getting up early
the show 'all that' (crime against humanity)
lies
coconut
the taste of stamps
cobwebs
throwing up
stupid lists (like this one)
friends who drink and get hospitalized (think my best friend on this one)
being angry
rocky road ice cream
SLEEVES (hint: just roll them up- it works wonders)
dirty looks
most sequels (this excludes things like back to the future...star wars....planet of the apes...classics)
excessive talking in movies
and i'm sleepy so thats the end of my things i hate list for now.
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Replies:
- stabbed -- eadion featherweight, 07:39:55 05/08/01 Tue
i've got my back to the wall
just to avoid being stabbed
and momma's yelled twice now
at me over the matter of
getting blood on the carpet
i keep backing further away
just to feel safe
but so you know
it's not just the physical me
that's moving away.
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- BLAH! -- rYaN, 15:06:38 05/02/01 Wed
and you think
that your untouchable
but i don't want
to touch you
the faces doubled
as the time progresses
the two separate lives
you lead shine
the flaws of each other
the pain in my heart
has more weight in bulk
than the aching knot
on your head
from the bed i slept
beside you oh so peaceful
i was the hand you held
when everything was against you
now i lay my head
against the wall that
my fist have penetrated into
so many times
i wait to rejoice
for the day
that i wash myslef
clean of you
with the tears
of my forgetfulness
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Replies:
- I LOVE SAIRA! -- Jenn, 09:04:40 04/26/01 Thu
I love Saira, yes I do.
She doesnt make me feel like poo.
I have known her since third grade.
Whats this I hear about a parade?
I love Saira, yessir I do.
And you know what, everyone should too!
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Replies:
- yep -- mags, 17:09:46 04/25/01 Wed
my newest saying:
Rain on my parade and one day you'll find an umbrella shoved up your ass.
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Replies:
- i post here just cos i do. in case anyone feels like reading into my guilt. -- saira, 17:19:44 04/24/01 Tue
justification
trembles on a bitter limb as i
whisper over and over.
and over.
it's not me being selfish.
and to believe these untruths feels like
i’m playing pretend in my head for the thousandth time
and you’re standing there to kick down my house of cards.
i never felt tears roll down
inside my cheek before and i apologize
if my hand swings shut to your eyes.
reflexes like that are my biggest
guilt and you make sure i don’t forget it.
and with a weepy smile it ends with the sun.
but it’s still afloat in our secretions.
mixing below our noses as we lock eyes
and believe the fake so
our fingers can still interlock.
someday those quick glances to my feet
might not be so quick anymore and my cover will falter and that quiver
you hear will be me not speaking.
it hard to see black and white when my grey
comes out in hues of green and red.
so i put out my feeble attempt and blush at the simplicity of it all.
cos that’s what left of me to you.
a simple mind.
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- akjdkjfl;ajfkjds -- rYaN, 17:44:39 04/23/01 Mon
as the waves roared
and the waves crashed
the memories of you
rolled in with the tide
my new four basic food groups
which are all in liquid form
to wash down
the harsh reality
that is life
the gust of happiness
short and brief
something i know all too well
bubbles around my head
like the foam of the water
when it hits the sand
and hopefully one day
a tide will wash up
onshore a treasure oh so sweet
that i can cherish
for an eternity
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Replies:
- how much hotter can it get tonight? -- saira, 17:41:28 04/23/01 Mon
desperately clawing your eyes
i trip over our yesterday.
desperately...
i hate being desperate.
but nothing’s lost in silence.
that's my way of thinking.
and we’ll have to see...
don’t mean to be vicious,
but how are things so different now,
that now you can see?
a groove created in my thigh
from your thumb rubbing in,
at all the wrong times.
right on time,
you’re being spontaneous.
again.
i love it when you surprise me with a deep smile
at the scene of my presence.
love it more when that smile doesn’t wither
with exposure.
and i expertly climb your back,
reaching my feet to your
ribs and digging.
closest i can get to that damned heart of yours.
piece by piece i’ll destroy your face to fit mine.
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- a ramble -- eadion, 14:12:05 04/21/01 Sat
a balance act
a duel of sorts
no crowd to watch
the defeat to come
one shall fall
one shall survive
and none shall have a witness
but for those
that dwell inside
who bear the heaviest judgement
and the slightest condemnation
at the slip of a tongue
-defeated-
dissapointment was inevitable
and unshakable
for sooner or later
all good ballerinas
tumble at the bar
and come out
hardened at heart
with hope dead at the floor.
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-
Shoved... -- Mitch, 13:30:24 04/21/01 Sat
"Shoved"
04/21/01
As someone comes behind
Placing a hand on my shoulder
Different emotions enter my mind
Each one making feel just a bit older
A friendly touch it seems to be
Comforting and loving
Until you fucking shoved me
As I start to turn around
Wondering who it is
Confused by a sound
Thinking why would you do this
A friendly touch it seemed to be
Comforting and loving
Until you fucking shoved me
As I realized how bad it hurt
Feeling my heart race
Eating all the dirt
Why didn't you say it to my face
A friendly touch it seemed to be
Comforting and loving
Until you fucking shoved me
As I learn from my mistake
All has been wrecked
Knowing what's at stake
Just a moment to reflect
(if you want to read anymore of my poems or whatever you can go to http://mitchwalla.virtualave.net)
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- saira, i love you -- jencook, 04:47:32 04/21/01 Sat
after careful thinking
about the people
I surround myself with
I began to ask myself
why these people are
so important to me.
I began to remember
which have held my hand
and which have
kicked me in the face.
Who helped me up
and who made me feel
like being down in the dirt
was where I fit in best.
Please understasnd,
I can forgive..
but forgetting is another story.
Anyway...
As I glance around
this circle of "friends"
I notice the one person
that truely is my best friend
Who was my shoulder
to cry on..
Who wanted to kick everyone
that hurt me to china and back..
Who makes me laugh on what
was probly the worst day of the year..
Who rights a poem for me
in my journal, for me only...
She...well...she wasn't
in the circle at all.
So I wonder why
I still stand there..
..in the circle.
Then I also realized
it's just impossible to leave.
Cuz even if I do
I'll always come back.
I'm part of the circumfrence now.
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Replies:
- "Forgotten"..i posted it on jess' board too -- sima., 19:06:25 04/19/01 Thu
My nails have stopped growing
I didn't know dead cells
could die anymore.
I'm under your walls again
my tiny toe has felt the day light
and I'm burning red.
The air is getting thick
of plaster-
and silence,
but I'm choking on your breath
and I know you want a
"fair" share.
These walls have shaken,
I guess that's your new way
of communicating.
I can barely feel
your harsh beat
but it's more than enough to know
you still care.
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
- from jess martins' board -- JenCook, 16:55:14 04/19/01 Thu
I see:things how i want them to be and never what they really are.
I need: a new right hand pointer finger...mine hurts like hell.
I find: i don't like things with glitter on them. they make my eyes hurt.
I want: my permit.
I have:a headache.
I wish:people weren't gay butt-faces, drugs were never invented, my parents didn't totally suck, crying only happened when you were happy.
I love:Kevin. (and my best friends and my grandarents are cool too..oo and my itty bitty cousins)
I miss: Sara and the other people I haven't really hung out with in a long time.
I fear:failure..death...crabs..snakes..bees..etc.
I feel: like kicking a wall.
I smell:Fried Chicken...it's in the kitchen..mmmm
I think: that if pharmacies are places where people go to get medicine that makes them feel better, people shouldn't feel worse after leaving.
I crave:Gummy Bears, Apple Juice, Tea, and Chinese Food.
I wonder: what my life would have been like if I never moved to Jackson.
I regret:mean things I say about Kevin when I get mad at him. (I never really mean it)
Right now, I feel like: kicking the wall.
Right now, I hear: acoustic guitar music on sum tv show..Gilmore Girls..I do beleive.
I just don't understand: everything
I like Jessica Martins because she got me a journal for christmas and play-doh (the bestest gift) and cuz she's nice to me, and she says "hi" a lot and makes me smile, and cuz she's silly. :)
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Replies:
- RIP -- rYaN, 11:20:28 04/19/01 Thu
i think the only way this day could possibly get better is
1. if i had a gun
2. if i had a knife
3. if i had a fork
4. if i had a sharp piece of rubber
5. if i had a pen
oooooooooh wait i have one next to me alright days gonna get better now lets see where can i stick it that will kill me instantly ooooooh that looks like a good spot well goodbye everyone.
rYaN
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Replies:
- yippee skippee -- JenCook, 18:07:59 04/18/01 Wed
yessss, the fishbowl has action. richie hopkins is the man. who is spaghettios? ryan, i love you, saira is the bestest. bye :)
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
-
5 millionth time i've posted my desire for a milkshake factory. -- saira, 12:10:12 04/18/01 Wed
i can't wait
till my pulse
stops caring.
and then your
whispers will
swim across my
palm and i'll
keep my eyes
shut of you.
a lot can be
said with that
sidesweeping
glance of yours,
but i ignore
it along with
everything else.
it disgusts me
to see you lift
the skin right
off of me, but
you're the one
who's exposed.
your lies are
packaged neatly
beside my bed,
wrapped with
the piece of hair
you so viciously
pulled out as
you stole my head.
right off my face.
peach blossoms
intertwine with
your stubby toes.
what a giant you've
become, and in 4
weeks you'll
grow in reverse.
the removal of a
mole leaves a
scar for you
to dwell upon
for years to come.
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
- an edited version of two poems formed as one -- rYaN, 10:45:42 04/18/01 Wed
the glasses of pathetic tears overflowing dripping down to the ground of nothingness and sorrow the bottled up hatred inside turns into desperation and guilt maybe i should wipe the pathetic vaporous water that doesn't drop but comes out from my pours in forms of aggression and violence take my trust throw it on the ground and stomp on it rip my heart out from the bellows of my chest watch it beat for and only you crush it along with my hopes and dreams and what will never be watch the fragments pulsate with life as you stand hovered over your path of destruction that you shelter from yourself my body shrivels up emotions run dry i am tapped clean of the joy i once had and will never again have for you i hope it was worth it so i should stop searching for a soul that was never found and will never be
after all an eternity alone is only an inconvenience if you are a lonely person
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
-
just somehing that actually sonded good, believe it or not -- rich, 19:06:48 04/17/01 Tue
i walked these thoughts
hoping for change
found absolutely nothing
having only myself to blame
i called u up hoping for pitty
but hung up with grief and sorrow
if only now u could see the pain
maybe u will there is always tomorrow.
the phone is slamed and off the hook
maybe then u will open ur eyes and look
realize life is only what u make it
but only if u live it and dont waste it
im taking a stroll through my thoughts
wondering how my life is right side up
why the toilet paper roll hasn't been used
and why my siblings are staying shut up
ohh lookthe light in my bathroom wont turn on
is it perhaps im dead, or maybe just dreaming
have i myself fallen in the rabbit hole
or am i buried alive leaving my life with no meaning
hopefully not my thoughts are way too scary
my dreams definitely get way to hairy
thats why there a big time gap between strolls
the mind never suffers, the body takes the toll
so before u doze off or stare into space
make sure u know the track before entering the race
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Replies:
- first of my posts on the fishbowl... quite exciting. -- saira, 13:15:50 04/17/01 Tue
you found my name
and pocketed it
as your own.
with a smile i joked
how you control
every inch of me.
even my identity.
and then you threw
it back in my
face, tho
i was never quite
ready for the pitch.
straddled on your
lap, swinging side
to side, i know
it's too late cos
no matter how slowly
i look at you, your
face isn't like it
was yesterday.
disturbed with the
mention of the rest,
i give you nothing.
cos it all came back
at me and seeped through
my pores. that was
the death of me.
shine a light through
my ear and you'll see
the last crusade
fighting in my head.
emptiness never felt fuller.
allotting time for
myself is no problem
when i spend every waking
minute wiping off
my shadows.
i place a thornless
rose next to your
framed smile,
in full admittance to
the past and denial
of the future.
so as i apply my war
paint to my face
you'll stare at me
and forget that ugly
sneer that engulfed
the narrow lines
of my face.
i could taste my
bitter smile each
time it spiraled
towards you in hope
of defering you
from your path.
but no more.
you're gone.
and i'm left holding
my leash.
cos i know your
slippery hand won't
last in my firm grip.
my green smile does no more to you than the twitch of your eyes from my hollow touch.
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Replies:
-
stepped on a rusty nail, it hurt. -- SpAgHeTi-O's, 12:08:38 04/17/01 Tue
Why does every one
i thought was my friend feel
the need to laugh at me
for the choices i make?
I'm not like everybody
else, it's the truth.
But it's the way I
choose to live my life
and i really can not
stand when people have to
laugh when i choose to
be different.
if we were all the same it
would be horrible.
you laugh cuz i'm different,
i laugh cuz ur all the
same. I'm not goin to
be the perfect person you
think i should be. i'm not
like you, where i have to be like
everyone else to feel at home
in my own body. i'm goin to do
what i like. and it hurts
when people i thought were my friends
talk shit about me behind my back
and laugh in my face. Thank god for
my true friends, who can accept me
not being a carbon copy of the
"perfect person"
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
- JenCook!!!! -- saira, 09:49:38 04/16/01 Mon
you love ryan more than me? grrrr.
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Replies:
-
YAY FOR SIMA -- jen sim, 11:55:01 04/12/01 Thu
So on a whim, I enterred a poem of mine into this internatonal poetry contest...now it's a semifinalist and is being published by the International Library of Poetry because of my "unique perspective and artistic vision." Ironic that a poem which caused such controversy is causing me happiness now, aye? something maggie said about the poem made me enter..so yeah, this is the poem:
"Endulged"
It's been such a long time
since I've been able to
hold you under my breath
and keep you inside me
We can't lie through
our teeth anymore
the artificial sweetness is
beginning to make them rot
We've filled ourselves with
only the finest our past had
to offer
P.S.- A very special thanks to maggie.
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
-
"Relentless" -- Jen Sim, 16:00:37 04/11/01 Wed
The silence in your seconds
between breathing:
I'm sick of holding onto.
and I'm done waiting
for your heart to skip a beat
I refuse to fight
a dead horse
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Replies:
- i don't believe in titles and i hate having to always write a fucking subject but i love jen cook -- rYaN, 12:01:42 04/11/01 Wed
the glasses
of pathetic tears
overflowing
dripping down
to the ground
of nothingness and sorrow
the bottled up
hatred inside
turns into
desperation and guilt
whos fault is it?
maybe mine?
what did i do
to push you to the limits
that i once exceeded
and would never
dare to again
maybe i should
wipe the pathetic
vaporous water
that doesn't drop
but comes out
from my pours
in forms of
aggression and violance
towards the people
who love me most
and i should stop
searching for a soul
that was never found
and will never be
after all
an eternity alone
is only an inconvinience
if you are a lonely
person
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
Replies:
- love is for the petty hatred is for the invincible -- rYaN, 21:09:12 04/10/01 Tue
shattered dreams
a broken heart
now im back
right from the start
i loved her so
i really did
those tears of pain
from her i hid
she was the sponge
that would absorb my pain
being with her
would make it go away
she hurt me so
but i want her back
because without her
its happiness i lack
rip my heart
right from my chest
watch the blood drip
down my chest
see the pain
i am going through
i only wish
that you were too
you were the one
i thought i knew
but now i say
fuck you im through
go ahead
and fuck the guys
go ahead
and spread lies
i don't give a fuck
because your a bitch
finally i got rid of
this nasty itch
the itch is you
and your lies
i hope the tears
drip down your eyes
when you read this song
and clench your fist
to know that you
will not be missed
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
Replies:
- "Monsoon" as titled by saira khan -- Jen Sim, 19:18:58 04/09/01 Mon
I've taken your seeds
and stored them away for
the winter
I'm using my strength at will this time
the lightning has become a precious
comfort
You're blue in my face now
I know it must hurt you to see my
orchids soak
Everything is coming up roses this week
and I'm drowning your garden
again
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- i used to feel like crying over spilt milk until one day i spilt the cow. -- mags, 18:29:10 04/07/01 Sat
it just makes me so sick
that as much as i need to talk to you
there are no words left to say.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X
the last time i looked
into my heart
it was empty.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X
i'm so happy
if i grin any wider
i think my jaw would break.
(hey hey- my parents said i can go to the asbury park surf and skate fest next weekend!!)
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X
when was the last time
you looked at your heart
before it got so black?
how did you get those burns?
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X
i'm your pride
and i'm here to make you
trip over your own feet
as your head's so big
you cant look down
for fear of tipping over.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X
all along
i thought it was a distorted me
turns out it was just
a distorted glass.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X
raspberry turnovers smell like heaven.
raspberry turnovers taste like heaven.
-read- raspberry turnovers ARE heaven.
i have four slices of heaven.
well....now two...i got hungry.
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Replies:
- Poetry -- Mitch, 19:58:29 04/06/01 Fri
hey all you guys who check out this board... if your into poetry go check out some of mine if you don't mind....
http://mitchwalla.featureme.com/
click psykotic poetry and then check it out and e-mail me on what you think and while your there if you don't mind sign my guestbook on the main page.... thanx
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Replies:
- yah, look down -- mags, 18:16:50 04/06/01 Fri
so its like when you really wanna win the pretty tropical fish at the fair but no matter how hard you try you just cant get it. so instead they give you a goldfish. and, as it turns out, maybe you like the goldfish better than the tropical one. (that was supposed to be the message subject but it was too long)
i'd just like to say
for once and for all
that if i'm commonplace
its because thats where
i want to be.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X
if i'm not so clear
and sway from side to side
maybe my hearts not in it-
maybe i'm just along for the ride.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X
has it ever even occured
to you to look at me
through a different pair of eyes
besides the ones that already think
they know what they see?
you are blind because you choose to be.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X
it made me so empty
to think of missing you
i cried to fill me up again.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X
i knew i didnt have the stomach for
shaky ground on shaky days
i knew it was best to avoid the
potholes while driving on unpaved roads
so why didnt anyone tell me
i was building on a fault line?
X*X*X*X*X*X*X
maybe i'm just visiting
and none of this is real.
X*X*X*X*X*X*X
no matter how hard
things just cant come into focus
i guess my vision's off today.
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Replies:
- The Love of My Life -- *NC~, 17:14:23 04/06/01 Fri
She kept on talking
like she did nothing wrong,
He saw the look in her eyes
of holding something back,
The staggering tear
fell down her cheek,
She couldnt let out
of what she had done,
His face grew pale
and threw back his head,
You cheated on me, he cried
Why'd you do that?
She fell to her knees
and held his hand,
She kissed the angel
that came from his soul,
Laid on the ground
and regreted what she done,
I'm sorry, she screamed out
He wouldn't accept,
I lost the best love-
The love of my life.
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- got nothin to do -- gizmo, 11:19:30 04/04/01 Wed
sitting at the computer
writing poems for you
i am so bored
got nothin to do
missing my boyfriend
ohh so much
thinking about him
i miss his touch
i got lots of homework
dont want to do rite now
a shit load of tests
cant think, but how
dont want to study
just sit here n wine
til its tomorrow morning
ill think 'its fine'
faild the tests
failed the class
dont really care
cause the teachers an ass
[ Post a Reply to this Message ][ Edit | View ]
- one little mistake -- Laura, 10:49:59 04/04/01 Wed
thinking of what i did
i knew it was wrong
i did everything right
until the end had come
now everything i had
has been taken away
all because of my
one little mistake
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- "Maybe it's for the best, maybe it's not for anything"~NFG... fits perfectly -- SpAgEtTi-O's, 17:30:26 04/01/01 Sun
So, today i broke your heart.
Do you think i'm proud?
i knew i was coming off
as uncaring, hard, cold.
Doing what had to be done
Telling you it straight
no bullshit necessary.
Then just talking on
about my life
as if i hadnt done this
As if i never said a word.
I know you think i'm heartless
But i have to keep it that way.
Because hearing the catches in your voice
Hearing your normally outgoing self
Become quiet and withdrawn.
Almost able to sense the tears
Welling in your eyes
And hearing your voice say, in a whisper,
"i'm going to miss you so much".
Would break me down
And make me stay in a place
where i shouldn't really be.
I'm sorry for what i did.
But i did what i had to do.
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- "Turning Eleven" don't read too far into it you conspiracy theorists -- Jen Sim, 16:29:58 04/01/01 Sun
Ugly stares
coming forth
from your direction
can make my
mind break
And all that's left
to say
is already easily
slipping from your lips
I'm disappointed
to realize
that it's only
what I've heard
10 times over
in the past hour
And I can't turn away
as much as I say
I'd like to
because your eyes have me
and you know how
to hold me in
and keep me waiting
for your tune
to change.
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- the dreamer -- maggie, 17:41:27 03/31/01 Sat
in so many ways
she's still a little girl-
with little girl dreams
and little girl toys
and little girl laughs
in so many ways
she still believes in faerie tales
with prince charmings
and glass slippers
and happily-ever-afters
in so many ways
she's still struggling to grow up
with too-old-for-her clothes
and expensive makeup
and shoes so big she'll topple over
in so many ways
she's still trying to find herself
with tears cried into her pillow
and blotchy faces hidden by her hair
and a stuffed animal for reassurance
in so many ways
she's still a simple person
with favorite story books, read till memorized
and movies watched a thousand times
and slippers with holes she won't give away
in so many ways
she's still just that little girl
with laughter hidden in her eyes
and best friends found in every stranger
and hope in the rainiest day.
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- grrrrr..I dunno yet.... -- JenCook, 20:01:39 03/29/01 Thu
I hate to look at you
almost as much as
the yellow bandaid
around my finger.
You remind me
of how I let
my guard down
just that once
and you cut me,
with you kindness
that's so razer sharp
you know it's fake.
You're as pure
as the brown water
left when I'm done
washing my hands of you.
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- yadda yadda -- jencook, 19:32:42 03/29/01 Thu
just checkin it out to see where this post goes...
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- JEN COOK ISTHA SHEEOT! -- shAdis, 15:58:08 03/29/01 Thu
jen cook....... how do you get your reply messages to not be gay? mine are sooooo gay, and yours look like the old ones.... how?
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Replies:
- i don't write any more poetry sucks and should be banned -- rYaN, 17:29:08 03/29/01 Thu
take my heart
wring it clean of the
emotions that bubble inside
i bathe in the joy
that you bear on my soul
i take my love
and nourish it from
a little seeddling
i bury it in the soil
of unconditional happiniess
and let it grow into
a giant tree of
the eternal bliss
that i feel that
i hope you feel
that i hope we can feel
together
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Replies:
- toe-point -- mags, 16:28:44 03/29/01 Thu
Your inconsistency
Keeps me dancing on my toes,
The very image of a ballet dancer.
One day, I find myself aching from frost burn-
The next, it is third degree scorches.
I keep close to the flames for their warmth,
But am afraid I shall one day catch fire.
The cold is frightening but safer.
I fear I must admit
I am not as skilled a dancer
As this role demands-
My shoes have grown quite thin at the point.
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- Why? -- SpAgEtTi-O's, 14:44:31 03/29/01 Thu
Why do the friends we think we can trust
Always wind up to be the ones to stab us in the back?
Why do the people that we love the most
Always wind up ripping out our heart and stomping on it?
Why do the people that say they'll always be there
Wind up to be the ones to turn their back and walk away first?
Why does the person who tries hardest to be kind to every1
Winds up with the tears rolling down their face?
Why does the person who believes in true friends
Always winds up lacking them?
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- "Endulged" -- ~~~~~~, 19:17:56 03/17/01 Sat
It's been such a long time
since I've been able to
hold you under my breath
and keep you inside me
We can't lie through
our teeth anymore
the artificial sweetness is
beginning to make them rot
We've filled ourselves with
only the finest our past had
to offer
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Replies:
- under my skin -- eadion featherweight, 18:30:03 03/28/01 Wed
somewhere
along the way
when i was not paying
much attention-
you creeped under my skin.
sometime
between then and now
things changed a bit
between us-
love to hate?
is there so much of a difference?
somehow
despite it all
you lost your razor-sharp
edge towards me-
and i to you.
i must not have been paying close enough attention.
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Replies:
- Hi from the author of "damned" -- no one, 14:20:14 03/28/01 Wed
hi everyone in the fishbowl. i just wanted to apologize to jen sim, sima? about using your squiggly name. i will not use it again. and i am a little confused about so many posts non-poetry related. thank you for reading.
jen - i agree with all of your posts by the way against whoever is posting about you and your boyfriend (?he is your boyfriend right?)
who's saira? she posted about me too and i don't know why.
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Replies:
- mom's suck -- JenCook, 16:48:27 03/28/01 Wed
Why does privacy exist
only to be violated?
Maybe you can tell me,
afterall, you are the one
that likes to trespass
on private property.
Is it that red button
that says "Do not push!"
so you push it anyway?
the "Keep off the grass" sign
that makes you want to
just tread all over it?
The "Beware of Dog" poster
that makes you open the fence
and test your fate?
Does a journal send vibes
that say "Read me, it's ok".
I feel violated..
and you definetely pushed
the red button
when you should have
just stepped away.
you ruined my grass,
the dog scarred me,
and now my sanity
is just barely balancing
on the tips of my eyelashes.
Thanks.
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-
i'm new -- Nette, 15:25:36 03/28/01 Wed
hey guys. it's lynette. i haven't been here before - well i was here briefly yesterday before my computer went all haywirish on me. lol. anyways, love the poetry so far and will post soon. wow - lots of controversy on this board.
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- Hear Ye Hear Ye -- Jen Sim, 18:37:48 03/27/01 Tue
I want to let you all know that i was "~~~~~~" and now that someone is pretending to be me, i won't be posting under that name anymore. Someone on this board is trying to make it seem like tim dumped me by writing a poem titled "damned" and posting it under "~~~~~~~" (with 7 ~'s..I use 6) sure the one word title is something i do..and the meter is like mine..but this is definitely not my style. this is clearly not me. Tim and I are very happy together. Anyway, I won't be posting under that name anymore, so if you see any more "~~~~~~" or "~~~~~~~" it's not me.
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- damned -- ~~~~~~~, 16:04:43 03/27/01 Tue
you toss me out
as if
i was the one
who you
needed to protect your
self from.
and all the time you
exhausted intensity
by discovering my encroachments
past your
personal boundaries.
damn you i'm sorry!
but i'm
not with a knife in
my hand
waiting for you to turn.
don't you see?
all this
waste? you tried watching me
but the
blow came from
him after
all those accusations had
already bowed
my shoulders and made
my eyes
cleaner and red with tears for you
mistreated life.
i'm so sorry for your
mistakes, but
i didn't make them
and it's
not my fault you
are damned.
but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
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Replies:
- Especially for Mags -- JenCook, 09:26:03 03/27/01 Tue
Maggie,
Hunny, you get your very ouw post! not some little reply! hehe..I just wanted to tell you that all the poems you post on here are really awesome! allll of them. you're fantastic, keep up the good work, luv you to peices doll face. byes :)
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-
hum...? -- JenCook, 02:59:23 03/27/01 Tue
guys, is it me? or does the board like to switch posts around??? i think it's possessed!!
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Replies:
- Mr Kennedy says some thing cool every so often....I was inspired, i guess.. -- JenCook, 17:29:20 03/15/01 Thu
Go on,
funnel it on in.
Yes, that's right.
Lean back,
open wide
and let him
pour it
right on in.
let him condense
everything that is
about him
into a pint
and watch it
swirl down
into your throat.
Feel it
poisoning you
inch by inch.
And you know,
you know
it hurts
but you
swallow it
down anyway.
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Replies:
- Someone -- me, 09:44:00 03/26/01 Mon
What is true love?
True Love is what i feel
when im in your arms
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- i dunno -- JenCook, 15:38:49 03/24/01 Sat
and I burned a hole
right through your heart.
I'm sorry
I didn't mean to..but..
I just can't help thinking
it's fun to play with fire.
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- little girl lost...my favorite out of ten written today.... -- maggie, 21:39:55 03/23/01 Fri
oxymoronic she is
with her need for independance
and the shoulder she has to have
to cry on like a child
who wears her mommy's shoes
only to trip from the high heels
and then insists on the
polka dotted bandaid
because it matches the color
of her dolly's dress that she says
she's too grown up for
but secretly sleeps with at night
after being wrapped up in the blanket
her daddy bought one day as a surprise
that she keeps on her big-girl bed
which is so huge sometimes its like
she's on an island where she can
hear the water beating against the sand
but it too afraid to go swimming without
a lifevest and all she wants
is someone to come and rescue her
when all along everyone knows
it was she who put herself there
in the first place.
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- heartbreakers -- maggie, 21:38:52 03/23/01 Fri
the fallen tears
are so soon forgotten
when they represent
so big a feeling
as happiness.
those small dewdrops
augmenting down your cheek
stay with you forever
when they come from moments
that break your heart.
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- i dont know why i post coz i never get replies-but yeah, here it is: gray rainbow, cloudy skies -- maggie, 21:38:05 03/23/01 Fri
i wonder
if i weep
to prove to myself
that i am capable
of a strong emotion
when all the colors
have blurred
into a rainbow of grays
that dance over the clouds
in the once-peaceful sky
of my mind.
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- my board -- Jenn, 18:19:35 03/22/01 Thu
go to www.voy.com/18517/
thank you and good bye...(and i like richie)
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- Sorry I haven't been writing, Jen!!! -- Rich, 20:17:20 03/18/01 Sun
To my Jenn
Life has always looked away
I could of been on my hands
and knees cleaning that day
and still be left alone and forgotten
with no sort of reward or pay.
but while life's back was turned
she jumped in and grabbed me
said i am what u have earned
with no worries or regrets
knowing this girl was no dead end
i took her by the hand and ran
thinking to get as far away as i can
when i realized i need not run
all this time wasted looking around
and finally noticing she was the one
i took a sigh of relief as i realized
my struggles of looking were finally done
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Replies:
- 'James' -- shAdis, 18:37:18 03/20/01 Tue
All the days in morning's sun looking upon you shining your light on me, i looked too long and i fell short of sight.
But realizing all too late, your sun was what kept me.
Searching the sky for a cloud to receive me, i back away as the wind blows, forces me far.
I step foward to peek into the light again, my eyes still burn.
Despite my pain, the warmth and beauty draws me near, again.
Hopefull that your light remains as beautiful as the first moment i saw it.
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- It's a Cinquain "On the Verge" -- ~~~~~~, 19:32:34 03/17/01 Sat
Knowing
I could smother
you with just one breath is
more than enough to let me sleep
soundly
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- doot doo doo -- JenCook, 17:20:44 03/15/01 Thu
Dream about me.
And in that dream,
let me wear that pretty blue dress
and twirl 'round the floor
and fall in a field of daisies.
Dream about me.
And in that dream,
let me fly on a magic carpet
and make it take me to the moon
and let me kiss a star.
Dream about me.
And in that dream,
let me have wings that sparkle,
and have me float on a cloud
and sprinkle fairy in my hair.
Dream about me.
And in that dream,
let me dance, in my pretty blue dress,
and twirl 'round the floor
and fall where you're waiting to catch me.
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-
i gotst me a board too! -- shAdis, 17:41:08 03/11/01 Sun
http://www.voy.com/20196/
oh baby........... go there
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- yupyup -- JenCook, 17:50:17 03/08/01 Thu
Ode to Punk Sean
joking around or cursing up a storm
totally strange and out of the norm
unique and odd but still a fun guy
usually nice,sumtimes sweet as pie
disturbing at times, but mostly sarcastic
this guy is amusing in a way rather spastic
Doesn't deserve to go through this shit
he always seems to take the hardest hit
He's jovial throughout his saddened mood
b/c all around, he's pretty cool dude.
He's so f*cking cool, I'm such a fan
so, three cheers for punk sean! cuz he's the damn man!
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Replies:
- "Call me Beautiful" -- ~~~~~~, 17:54:57 03/08/01 Thu
I'm sorry if you feel
that you'll never measure up
or sink in
to my beauty
I know they're shallow shoes
to fill
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- yea..i dunno.. -- JenCook, 12:53:09 03/08/01 Thu
packed my bags and I'm ready
but I'm not sure what for,
all i know is that I can't stay here
for another minute.
And I don't know where you are,
or who you're with
and I guess it's better that way.
It's better that you don't know
how I feel right now
and it's better that you're
with your friends now
b/c when I leave
who will you have left?
I'm sorry, but I can't
take it all anymore.
The yelling and screaming
just tear me to pieces
and now there's nothing
left but shreds.
You know I love you
no matter where I am,
so, please don't cry
if I leave without saying goodbye.
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- sleeping watchdogs -- maggie, 12:15:14 03/08/01 Thu
You worry so that
Your head aches from the pain
And you pop a pill to escape
From the illness that’s already
Nestled inside of you
You were too busy
To pay it any attention
It crept up, unawares,
As the watchdogs slept
So peacefully at the gates
And now the battles
Must take place inside
Where the scars will go unseen
And the injuries will stretch deeper
Until they are one constant ache.
Take a pill.
Make it go away.
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- yay! -- JenCook, 12:45:01 03/07/01 Wed
Oh my, I did sumthign to the format and I actually really like this message board...it's like the other one now kinda..o0o, yay!
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- yep.. -- me ~JC, 04:24:33 03/05/01 Mon
Judgemental
Judgment called
too soon perhaps
as the gavel
slammed down
and "guilty" was heard
throughout
And it's my fault
for misjudging you
on a whim that
you were not yourself.
Stupid me,
yes, the first to admit
my own fault.
"but, I was wrong"
I say outloud,
to myself,
and to you,
as I stand in silence
with cold stares
from her direction
freezing my heart.
Me, perfectly iced over
with what I am not,
judemental,
I didn't mean it,
ya know?
to reach a verdict
based on assumtions.
I didn't , but i just did,
I'm so sorry,
be being cold enough
to let my fingertips
go numb.
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Replies:
-
HI -- TOBIE, 12:27:25 03/06/01 Tue
HAHAHAHAHAHA
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- i dunno...this sucks..i think i'm suffering from hardcore writers block... -- JenCook, 03:58:12 03/05/01 Mon
and I'll dream you up
and then wish I hadn't
because there's no use
in getting myself
all worked up
over nothing.
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- yadda yadda new board yadda yadda... -- JenCook, 03:40:06 03/05/01 Mon
Alright kids, let's see how this one goes...I hope you all like this board, cuz it's brandy new and you can all thank jess martins for being a damn genious and finding it! yay!! heh, love you all.
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Replies:
Feedback: 
ryan ryan ryan ryan...... -- stacy, 17:41:54 04/14/01 Sat
better writing than this does jen. you're a big fat hen. not like ben (franklin) -- saira, 18:29:29 03/27/01 Tue