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Subject: Question Author: Stepmom [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 10:41:02 01/21/24 Sun I guess this is as good a place to ask this. A few weeks ago my almost 9 year old stepdaughter out of the blue asked me to spank her when she's naughty. This came as quite a shock. She came to me and made some nervous small talk then out of the blue just dropped this out of the sky. I asked her why and she just said that she thought she should be spanked when she's naughty. She also said not to tell her dad. I told her I would think it over and she seemed satisfied with that answer. She hasn't asked since, but seems to be waiting for an answer. I actually haven't talked it over with her father, but I feel that I need to. To make it stranger she's not really trouble and it's very rare that we have to discipline her at all. She doesn't really get grounded and when she does it's just like taking something away from her for a short time or sending her to her room when she needs a breather. I could see if it was an alternative to a lengthy grounding, but that's never the case. I have never even swatted her behind and I don't think my husband has spanked her, not sure about her mom but I don't think so. I have a few theories, one being to get her out of a lengthy grounding, but since she's never grounded for any period of time, that pretty well counts that out. Another theory is that some of her friends get spanked and maybe she feels left out and wants to fit in. My other theory is that she has developed a fetish. It's not uncommon for girls of that age to develop a fetish and begin to think about their sexuality. No offense to the group, but that one really concerns me. I've never given a spanking, had a few growing up and certainly didn't get any thrill out of them. I'm not sure I'd even know how to give a spanking. I know how to give a spanking of course, you raise your hand and slap the butt, but how to actually do it or even if I could do it is another matter. I'm at a loss for what to do or think. I think she deserves an answer one way or the other. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Question Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:46:36 01/21/24 Sun I forgot to mention one other theory I have. We are pretty close and I treat her and love her as my own. There is however that barrier between stepmother and stepdaughter and maybe she feels that the closeness of a mother spanking her daughter may make it more, I'm guessing closer? More like mother and daughter? I'm grasping at straws here. What are your thoughts? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Jamie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:32:14 01/21/24 Sun It could be for any of the reasons you listed. Impossible to know, especially from another person's report. But my guess is that this is the most likely. She might see intensity as an indicator of, or pathway to, intimacy, which in fairness to her it can be. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Patrick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:49:39 01/21/24 Sun I think you can and you must answer her question and give her a good legendary spanking with her pants down and even harder than she perhaps expects, by hand then with a cane, 9 good strokes...The questions you can put them down after... [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Ginger [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 14:20:05 01/21/24 Sun Hi Stepmom, Based only on my own experiences, I have another theory. Maybe she has done something that you don't know about and she feels guilty. I was generally a very well behaved kid, but I could definitely hang onto guilt like it was my job. I only remember getting maybe 4-5 spankings total, the last one around age 10. There were a few occasions where I might have been relieved if I had been found out and punished. Since she trusts you enough to ask you to spank her, hopefully she would open up about any guilty feelings she might be having, in response to some more gentle questioning. If she does confess something, then you can ascertain if it's something that does actually deserve some kind of punishment. Or it might be something where she needs to be convinced that it isn't bad, and she shouldn't feel guilty. I can certainly understand your worry about being an unwilling participant in a burgeoning fetish. I'm not sure there is truly a way to know if this is a factor in her request, unless you can press her for her reasons. However, once again based on my own history, I've had a fascination with spanking that goes back as far as I can remember, but I definitely didn't enjoy the few spankings that I received. I also lived in fear that someone would find out about my fascination, and I can't imagine doing anything that might invite speculation, such as actually asking for a spanking. If I was in your position, I think this is how I would handle it. I would have another talk with her and say that I've been thinking about what she requested. I'd say that I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of spanking her, when I didn't understand her reason for asking for it. I'd emphasize that I thought she was brave to bring this up, that I wasn't judging her, and that she could tell me anything. If she still doesn't volunteer a reason, then I'd go through a list of possibilities. Does she think she'd prefer it to being grounded? Has she heard friends talk about being spanked? Does she feel guilty about something? Does she think it would make the two of you closer as parent and child? Is she just really curious about what it would be like to get a spanking? Hopefully, she will give some hint of her motivation. Then, you can consider if you're willing to actually spank her. Though I agree that you probably need to talk to your husband before any spanking happens, and she needs to know that, despite her wish for secrecy, you're not going to go behind her dad's back on something this important. However you decide to proceed, I wish you the very best of luck. If you feel like sharing the outcome, I'd be very interested to know how it goes. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Emmie Sue [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:54:57 01/21/24 Sun Wow, this girl is brave. This was me when I was a kid but I could never and still can't bring myself to actually say this to my mom (or anyone else). I think all of your theories are right on the mark. I was a pretty good kid, but occasionally I would do something naughty and pretty much get away with it and i'd be like "I've got to pay for this. Why am I not being punished for this? Other kids get their butts whooped. Why didn't I?" It was a huge let down and still is. Yeah, I did also have fantasies about spanking, me getting spanked, my friends getting spanked. I felt something when I thought about spanking and I knew it was wrong. I know now it wasn't wrong, but I felt like a bad person when I had those thoughts and feelings. And yeah, my parents were pretty affectionate, but I think there is some kind of bond that only a mother and daughter can have with a good spanking and forgiveness. I'd like to be able to tell you what you should do, but what do I know. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: bodack [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:29:56 01/24/24 Wed That is not the first request I have heard like that but not normally that one. I do remember a post from a boy who was adopted who felt like spankings made him part of the family. While I was never spanked as a kid, I seem to remember six licks being the most common. Not the very long spankings that you hear about here. Back in the day my High School Girl Friend gave her little brother six with the belt. The goal was tears. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:17:14 01/24/24 Wed I did talk about this with her dad. I was a little surprised by his response and a little miffed at his lack of support. He looked puzzled, seemed like he was in deep consideration for a few minutes and just said "Welp, if that's what she wants, next time she's naughty give her a good one." I feel that he could have given me a bit more support if he had discussed it with me and maybe done a little more to take care of the matter himself. There have been times when in the back of my mind I've thought about just turning her over my knees, I think like any parent, or in my case step parent probably does, but for the most part she's a pretty good kid. I feel blessed to have a wonderful husband and a loving, well behaved, helpful step daughter as well as decent support from her mother. I just can't foresee her ever even desrving a spanking but maybe she needs a spanking. I don't know if I could ever actually do it, though. Thanks for your thoughtful responses. And so you all know I'm not stupid, I completely disregarded Patrick's response. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: bodack [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:09:33 01/24/24 Wed I would be miffed at your Husband too. You might want to read this thread about people and their thoughts on the spankings they received. Do the parents of her friends spank? What about corner time afterward? Does she want it to be just the two of you? https://www.voy.com/250800/1602.html [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Ginger [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 17:35:31 01/24/24 Wed It's disappointing that your husband wasn't more supportive and willing to be a part of dealing with the situation. I suppose it means he trusts your judgement, but it also leaves the decision in your hands. (I seriously did not intend that as a pun, but now I can't bring myself to delete it, lol.) Inappropriate levity aside, I guess you need to decide if there would ever be a circumstance where you could find yourself willing to spank her. If you decide that you just can't do it, then that's that, and it's a completely valid decision. If you think you could entertain the possibility, then I suppose it all circles back to why she asked for it. And you seem like a thoughtful and considering person. Of course, you didn't pay attention to Patrick's ridiculous suggestion. Good luck with your decision! [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Wondering-supportive [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 21:00:55 01/24/24 Wed You and others have come up with good theories and you have been provided with ideas and suggestions to deal with your stepdaughter's need. I say need because she is clearly telling you how she wants to be punished and trusts you enough to share it with you and have you administer a spanking which she already realizes is embarrassing Otherwise why not share it with her dad whom she did not wish to know about her desire. So there is already an intimate bond with you that she does not share with her father because she does not want him to know. Rather than over-think it all, why not simply accede to her request. Giving a spanking is not complex. It can involve nothing more than smacking a clothed bottom in whatever position you feel most comfortable with given your reluctance at this stage. The otk position may be too much so simply have her bend over and smack her clothed bottom. Have her tell you next time she in naughty and that you now expect her to do so. That will take the guess work out of figuring out when she is naughty enough to spank and put the onus on her rather than you when spanking. Perhaps a half dozen hand spanks may well address her need and the problem is then solved without pondering in anguishment about the right thing to do. If more is required she will no doubt somehow communicate that to you and that will then perhaps help you better understand where she is coming from. Bottom line, is start easy and conservatively and satisfy her without causing yourself undue reflection and worry. If the spanking becomes more than an incidental thing she will have to open up more to you and you can tell her as much if the expectation is that you are not doing enough with your conservative approach. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Patrick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 23:42:47 01/24/24 Wed Yes you know and you understand well, that she needs it. I only wanted to help you how to do it effectively and unforgettable. Your husband will not help you anymore... [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Anne1 [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:04:33 01/25/24 Thu Maybe she just needs you to be in control in a more physical way . If it is a fetish there are far worse things to worry about . Just start of with a warming spanking . Nothing hard . More play but with determination . [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:21:18 01/28/24 Sun I have decided that IF the occasion ever arises that I do have to discipline her, as she requested I'm going to give her a spanking and like my husband said 'give her a good one'. I've never done it before, but I guess there's not much to it, you just turn her over your knees and start slapping her butt. Any advice? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: bodack [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:16:14 01/28/24 Sun Remember she came to you to get spanked, not her Dad. She needs you to fulfill a need. I wouldn't give her a good one. I would give her a brief lecture about her behavior and then put her over your knee, bare her bottom and give her about six licks with a hairbrush. Don't raise you hand above your shoulder and mostly flick the hair brush with your wrist. I would spank her to tears and then a couple of more followed by bare bottom corner time. I have lots of reasons for saying this but the Ceder count is very high right now it is difficult to think and type. I will psst more later if we get some rain. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:34:29 01/28/24 Sun Thank you. I will only use my hand over her jeans. If it's effective and it doesn't cause any trauma I may go further in the future. But for now, just a good spanking and see how it works out. That is IF the occasion ever arises. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Patrick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:55:13 01/28/24 Sun You're not right and you know that she needs and asked for a real spanking, bare bottom. But you can ask her again how she does imagine it... [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Ginger [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:37:55 01/28/24 Sun I can understand your wish to start cautiously, if the situation ever presents itself. Respectfully, I think you might cause more sting to your hand than her bottom if you spank over her jeans. If you are concerned about her modesty, then you could have her take down her jeans, but keep her underwear in place. Alternatively, you could have her change into something thinner, like pajamas. Also, I'd use the traditional over the knee/lap position. Afterwards, plenty of hugs and assurances that she is forgiven and she had a clean slate. I wish you luck if you ever do wind up spanking her. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: bodack [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:31:45 01/28/24 Sun Stepmom, First off if it ain’t bare it ain’t a spanking! A couple of stories to help you understand my view point. Years ago I knew a woman, who when she was little, would taunt her father into spanking her. He would tell things like she could go out and play just don’t go past the telephone pole. She would go one foot past it and then taunt him. She said she would be very scared when he snapped the belt prior to whipping her but she did it anyway. She avoided getting spanked by her Mom but for some reason she needed to get her butt whipped by her Dad. The second story regards my High School Girl Friend and her little brother who was about ten years younger than her. She essentially raised him. She would make him lay naked on the couch before giving him six licks the belt. He would end crying and running to his room. I always felt like it was somewhat of a game between them. He got the attention he wanted and she got a little stress relief. For some reason your step-daughter has gotten it into her head that Mom’s spank and she wants you to be Mom not Step-mom. She is old enough to be given chores to do and make it clear that if she doesn't do them she gets spanked. That way she has control over it and it is for something minor. You are not punishing her you are fulfilling a need. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Allison to bodack [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:27:42 01/28/24 Sun Dear bodack, I have to respectfully dissagree. Not all of my spanking from dad are on the bare. He always uses a large thick wooden paddle similiar to those used in school. For spanking offenses but not serious enough to require me to be bare I get it in our kitchen slightly bent over the counter with my hands grasping the counter for support. Dad then applied that paddle across my jeans (in the most recent case) quite firmly. I promise you sir this was a real spanking. Saying a spanking isn't real if it's not bare is an absolute myth. Mine was very real and there were tears and paddle marks to prove it. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Wondering-supportive [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 15:25:54 01/28/24 Sun I earlier recommended you ease into the spanking and a hand spanking over her jeans accomplishes that objective. You probably can't do any serious damage with that approach.So you are on the right track. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Tess [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:01:37 02/12/24 Mon Some of you perverts just want to read about a little girl getting her panties pulled down and spanked on her bare bottom. Step Mom, trust me, a good hand spanking over her jeans or leggings will be plenty for her to get a real spanking. If done right her butt will be hot for a long time and she might feel it for a day or two. True, a bare bottom spanking is embarrassing and stings a lot worse and one other advantage is you can see how red her bottom is getting so you don't over do it, but for her first spanking, maybe her only spanking, a darn good hand spanking over her jeans will be something she'll remember. Good luck. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Tess [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:36:53 02/12/24 Mon May I also add to be sure to cuddle and forgive for as long as she needs it. That's probably even more important than the spanking itself. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:56:21 02/12/24 Mon Thank you Tess and a couple of others for your reasonable response. Very sound advice. I knew when I asked this on here that I'd get responses like that which I would just disregard. I plan to do it much like you said IF, and that's a big IF the occasion should ever arise and IF I can even bring myself to actually go through with it. So far nothing major, some attitude etc. but nothing that I feel would warrant such punishment, or that I could even bring myself to do it. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Mother Elena [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 18:06:59 01/30/24 Tue To spank your stepdaughter regularly can increase the feeling of intimacy between you and her and make a strong, even lifelong bond between you two. In order to accomplish the goal try to spank her regularly, but each time try something new. For the first time spank her over jeans. The second time spank her over skirt. The third time spank her over panties. Next time spank her over pajama. Finally spank her bare bottom. Don't expect wonders but be patient and really spank her at least once a week. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: Question Author: Kevin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:10:22 04/27/24 Sat I agree with Mother Elena. Maint spankings are wonderful for both parent and child. And often Mom, too! I am kevinbr4 on Trillion, if you want a confidential pro spanking friend. I should mention that altho I spanked my niece, no kids at home now. No fantasy players, ok? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Emmie Sue [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:03:52 02/10/24 Sat Any updates? And just never mind the obvious fakers. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: First Spanking Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:54:29 04/15/24 Mon There have been a few times in the past few months where I've grounded her and she has shouted back "Why don't you just spank me?" or something like that. The groundings never stick anyway. She never really does anything really bad enough to be harshly grounded or even given a spanking. Sometimes I think she's even pushing it so that she will get a spanking. A few nights ago something came up, nothing major and I was going to ground her or take something away, but I decided since she still seems to have an interest in it that this time I was going to do it. When I told her this time I was going to spank her, she didn't fight it or anything, just looked a little terrified as well as excited. So I've never done anything like that before and I went with memories and instinct. I gave her bottom a good smack. She drew a breath but didn't yell. The 4th one she said ow and I think it was starting to sink in. I gave her a few more like that then I gave her a real good spanking that ended up with her crying kicking and pleading. Finally to make sure she knew that spanking is serious business I gave her about 10 good swats with a good old fashioned wooden hairbrush. She really howled with that. When I let her up the poor little thing had tears and snot all over her face and really it broke my heart. She had the look on her face like "How could you do that to me?!" So I thought I had really done it, but then she collapsed in my arms and we hugged for the longest time. I don't think it damaged our relationship because since she has been very loving. I don't know if I'll ever do that again, but I guess it turned out fine and now she knows. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: Jamie [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 13:30:23 04/15/24 Mon Sounds like what she wanted was for you to take a stronger role in her life and assert more authority. Maybe also the catharsis of a good cry, especially if it was imposed. Perhaps she thought you were the best candidate from the adults in her life to take that kind of action. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: Patrick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:29:52 04/16/24 Tue Fine, but did she geht thé spanking bare bottom? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: Stepmom [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:03:34 04/16/24 Tue No, she was wearing tights so she certainly felt heat. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: Patrick [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 10:09:04 04/16/24 Tue But she would have needed and expected a spanking bare bottom and more effective. So you have to do it again next time. What do you think ? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: Anna [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 06:58:10 04/18/24 Thu mom always told my siblings and I that a spanking is not a true spanking if not done on the bare bottom. Today that is how I spank my kids. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: CMa [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:16:35 04/18/24 Thu Well done on following through with your convictions Stepmom. It sounds like you certainly "gave her a good one" as discussed! And it seems like she is none the worse for it emotionally and it has not driven any kind of wedge between you, so a successful experiment. Hopefully she has gotten whatever it was she needed from the experience. Maybe this will be the beginning and end of this topic for your family - now that she knows how unpleasant the reality is, she may never want a repeat, and knowing what you are ready to dish out, those rare occasions where she actually acts out enough to warrant punishment may become even rarer. On the other hand, do you feel now that you have done this once, you would feel more prepared to do it again in future? A couple more questions too - a wooden hairbrush is a pretty serious implement, even through tights (or leggings as I think we would call them in the UK, an outer garment rather than pantyhose) was there any indication she was still feeling discomfort for any length of time afterwards? And also, had you decided in advance you were going to use this hairbrush and made sure it was to hand, or was it a spur of the moment decision? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: First Spanking Author: Emmie Sue [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 05:44:39 05/06/24 Mon I so envy her. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Question Author: Old Man [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 03:13:36 04/23/24 Tue Do both you and her father work outside the home? If so, she may simply want more of your attention. I grew up in the '60s where stay-at-home moms were common, except in my house. I was a latchkey kid before anyone knew what that was. I was friends with some brothers and their father was in the military and gone all the time. Their mother stayed home. She had a load of rules and spanked the boys frequently. If you broke a rule you got spanked. I found I actually enjoyed her attention, even during the spanking. I guess it felt like someone actually cared about what I did. She spanked us until we finished high school. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]