Re: Struggeling with discipline -- Christian Family Discipline

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Subject: Re: Struggeling with discipline

Author:
Michael

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Date Posted: 17:10:06 03/27/23 Mon
In reply to: Kristina 's message, "Re: Struggeling with discipline" on 06:51:11 03/05/23 Sun

I agree in part with Kristina's advice.
Coming to the realisation that spanking your children is a loving form of discipline which you are doing for their own good will help you overcome your reservations. Spanking them in that spirit can even transform administering the spankings into an emotionally and spiritually rewarding experience.
However with respect I don't entirely agree with Kristine's advice about asking the Pastor to take over the spanking of your children. I am sure he would recognise that it was his pastoral duty and would not find it a burden.
But I do not think the Pastor is the only person from whom single mothers should feel able to seek help with the discipline of their children. In our church community fathers are expected to willingly respond to such requests {as indeed I have in several cases} and the results have been very positive in virtually all cases.

>Sorry to hear that, Clarissa. Can I ask how old the
>children are? Id love for you to email me and I'll try
>to offer all the support and advice I can.
>
>I would say not to have the pastor take over, since
>the kids will kind of know you wont discipline and may
>act up more at home..
>
>But coming to realize that a spanking is a moment of
>teaching and bonding, seeing it as a loving form of
>discipline will help you alot, realizing you are doing
>it for their own good, and when you go through
>something difficult the rewards are always far greater.
>
>
>>Hello
>>
>>I’m a recently widowed mother of 4. We lost my
>>husband last to a work accident last year. You can
>>imagine that things have been rough for the children
>>and me, but thankfully we had our church community to
>>lean on. Especially our pastor and is wife where a god
>>send, both spiritually as well as in practical
>>matters. I can’t imagine how I would have made it
>>through the last 10 month without their support.
>>Things are slowly going back to some semblance of
>>normalcy now.
>>
>>There is one area of concern however and that is the
>>children’s behavior. This is to a large extend my
>>own fault, my husband was always the disciplinarian in
>>our home, and I have struggled to fulfill that role.
>>In the first couple of months, I convinced myself it
>>was expected that children act up a bit and that I
>>should be more lenient. I led behaviors slide, that
>>previously would have earned them a good long paddling
>>by my husband. Especially the older two didn’t react
>>well, my husband would be appalled by some their
>>behaviors. After talking to our pastor, I realized I
>>wasn’t doing them any favors with this, so I tried
>>to strictly enforce the old rules and spank them when
>>necessary, but things haven’t gone well. I just
>>can’t bring myself to properly spank them.
>>Intellectually I understand it’s necessary, but as
>>soon as the first tears flow, I can’t bring myself
>>to go through with it. I know I’m failing them and
>>pray every day to find the strength to do right by
>>them, but so far those prayers haven’t been
>>answered. Maybe someone he had similar struggles and
>>can offer some advice. I also considered to ask our
>>pastor to step in and take over the spanking, but
>>I’m unsure if this is appropriate or not. I know he
>>spanks his own children, but I don’t want to be a
>>bigger burden then I already am.
>>
>>Clarissa

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