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Date Posted: 18:47:48 10/17/01 Wed
Author: Melissa
Author Host/IP: 152.163.201.78
Subject: Karen, I had a friend that sounds very similar to yours....
In reply to: Kat 's message, "Re: Sometimes caring means hurting" on 17:45:48 10/17/01 Wed

for about 8 years... her home was in a little better shape, but not her life or her priorities. We had to end our relationship when I could no longer bear to hear her whine and MAKE NO CHANGES I had heard the same old story from her for (what seemed like) a hundred years. To make a long story short, she and her husband are divorced - he (yes, the husband) has sole custody of the kids and surprise, surprise his apartment is clean, the kids are in school (on the honor role no less), they are attending after school activities and sports, the dogs are taken care of (well fed, have their shots etc.) and I had some real learning to do (not that I am suggesting this is the case in your situation at all) - he was not the only problem, their relationship was. She was not going to function (and still doesn't) no matter what. He kept thinking she should be doing the things she wasn't and they made each other completely miserable (and pushed each other to extremes that humans should never take another person to)... He chose to end the relationship and has turned into (when push came to shove) an excellent father. Boy, it's hard to watch someone you care about do these things to themselves, but (and I'm stealing a cliche) you can't help those that don't want to help themselves.

Feel better, stick to your beliefs and principles - 'cuz that's all we have to fall back on!

Melissa

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