Author:
Nevaeh
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Date Posted: 11:34:13 01/02/12 Mon
In reply to:
Seth
's message, "..}Not Strong Enough{.." on 21:21:25 01/01/12 Sun
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She too had noticed shift between them that had been brought on by the weight of the morning. Things had always been light and playful between them, at least when they were alone. Even in the face of the things happening just outside of town--together, they had been been able to shut the world out and just enjoy each other. Her time here had been so carefree--full of laughter, full of passion...full of life. A far cry from the anonymous existence she held back home. Once, she'd enjoyed the anonymity...thrived from it, actually. Now, she'd nibbled from the sweetness of small town life---of having what you do matter, if even for the sake of gossip. Nev knew she'd miss it, and fiercely. Just as she would miss Seth. She'd understood the quiet, the way he seemed more withdrawn from the moment the alarm clock had buzzed. There hadn't been much conversation in the scurry to get things ready for her departure. Still...they'd managed one last tryst in the shower...and she'd known then, beyond any doubt, that he'd come to care for her just as much as she had come to care for him. The way he'd touched her had spoken to her heart, and the look in that pale gaze had left little doubt.
She knew that she was ruined in terms of dating. Seth had been a shock to her her system--wakening her from the dusty, lackluster world of the unfulfilled. She knew what she'd been missing, all of these years--and she had a hunch that she would crave no touch but Seth's for a long time to come. Her colleagues would likely talk...it wouldn't be hard to see the way she simply looked more alive these days. Unlike keeping things secret in Cascade--she had simply decided that at the department, she didn't care what was said. While she enjoyed the overwhelming sexual tension of keeping things professional in the public eye with Seth, she would be by herself back home, nursing a hurting heart. She was more than a little miffed at herself for letting things get this far out of hand...for letting them go deep.
Just as he could never ask her to stay here, she'd never think of asking him to go to the city for her. She knew he'd never fit there--he was too primal, too virile. He needed the crisp mountain air, the space, the townsfolk in which he loved. She knew if he were to follow her, he would become a shell of the man she'd fallen for...those rough hands would soften, that wild look in those blue eyes would disappear, and his roughened edge would smooth with time. She would never forgive herself if she had to witness those things in him...never. She would rather walk away from him than have to live with that.
Her perfect little nose wrinkled at his mention of snow and ice. "I hope we don't have any back in the city. The second it hits the ground, it turns into a disgusting, dirty slush. I'm sure it's much prettier out here." She was willing to bet that the sight of snow out here in the mountains could not be described in words...it had to be miraculous. A slight smile formed at the feel of his thumb tracing along her flesh as she committed the feel of it to memory. It was still hard to believe that time had gone so fast and that it was already time for this. It was easier for her to just pretend this was one of the many rides they'd taken together...
She held his gaze as he turned to glance at her, though it hurt to do so. She didn't like the look in his eyes...didn't like the seeing the answering struggle in that oceanic gaze. It just intensified the tubulance of her own heart--and it just couldn't be that way for them. This was was what needed to happen. They'd known it from the word go. Even with that knowledge, though...it did not help ease the heaviness of her heart. She forced a smile to try to ease the tension. "It is beautiful country." She trailed the nail of her thumb over his flesh, glancing down at the perfect way their hands seemed to fit together. "Be careful if it does decide to storm, okay?" There wasn't too much time left in the drive...she could feel the urge to say things to him that were probably left unsaid. I've come to care about you very much. Hell, I think I'm falling in love with you.."...yeah, things like that. Things better left unsaid. She didn't want to complicate this, didn't want to make this worse for them. "It was a nice visit, back to Cascade. I really enjoyed myself." Well, that was safe to say, right? Nothing too emotional, nothing too scary? "I'm especially happy that I stopped in at Club Alien. I'm...I'm glad to have known you. We had some really good times together." She wanted to ask if he'd keep in touch...but wasn't entirely sure if that would be for the best. Maybe cutting the ties was the right thing to do for both of them...she truly didn't know the right course of action to take. She offered a smile, then cast her amber gaze forward so that he wouldn't see the shine in her eyes as she blinked the tears away.
_______†______†______†________
Touch me I'm cold
Unable to control
Touch me I'm golden
And wild as the wind blows
And tumbling tumbling
Don't go, fascination
If just for tonight darling,
.L e t s. g e t. l o s t.
†2010 Dodge Challenger†
†Furious Fuchsia†
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