Beginings/Endings -- The Barracks

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Date Posted: 04:48:22 05/02/05 Mon
Author: Synthis, Xiualith (Volaine)
Subject: Beginings/Endings
In reply to: M'att -- Ashertith 's message, "For once I'm lost for words..." on 00:09:29 05/02/05 Mon

Synthis nodded solemnly, never letting her eyes leave his. This fact, while probably seemingly unimportant to some, became immensly so in Sythis's eyes. She would not break the connection. Maybe her words would make more sense to him if she showed him, through her eyes, that she was truthful.

She gave a dark smile that didn't seem to suit the angelic girl he'd probably seen her as. [The question is more of 'what didn't he do'.] This dark humor was only for a moment, though. She sighed as the memories came back to her, and struggled to put them to words.

[Well... why don't I go a little further back to explain some background first? My father was a Lord Holder in some far-off land in the North. Not too far, really, but far enough that not many here have heard of it. Anyway, in his time, he went through three ladies before my mother. The first of his Ladies was a woman who died about a month after marriage. With his second, she died in birth with his first child, what would've been a son. With the third Lady, she died in birth as well, but her twins lived. They too, however, died withing two months of life. As you can tell, not so much of a happy story.

[When my mother came, everyone expected much the same to happen with us. She did, like the others, die when I was born... but do I look dead? I was his first child to live. And, after me, there were no more. Thus, I am his only child.]

She paused to make sure he understood all this before she continued.

[This necklace I wear was origionally made for the girl twin, my 'older sister'. It was given to me when I reached three months old--older than any of my three half-siblings made to.

[However, my father soon figured that I would not satisfy him as his child. By the time I was three turns old, I still hadn't said a single word. It was no matter of intelligence, he knew; I was a very fast learner in just about everything else an infant needs to know about. Already I could start to feed myself and I was walking just fine. So what was wrong?

[That's when he took me to the healers. They told him what he'd feared was true; I was a mute. Something wrong with my vocal cords or something. I'm not really sure. All I know is, when I got home that night, he turned to me. Now, I was mute all right, but I understood what words meant just like any other three-turn-old would. And my father knew that well. So, he took me to his chambers, and started talking to me. I remember trying to reply, but I just couldn't. I couldn't talk. Something in his voice got angrier and darker as he went on, and finally he was screaming at me. I was only three, so I can't remember what, and I probably didn't understand, either. Then, next thing I know I'm on the ground, and my mind was telling me that he'd slapped me. I started to cry. That was the first time he hit me.]

Synthis shuddered violently, true fear unveiled for the first time in her eyes. However, she went on.

[You asked, M'att, what my father did to me. And the beatings that started then were only one of those things. He refused to take care of me, leaving me either to figure it out myself or somehow find a way to let a drudge know what I wanted. When I found joy in life, he found a way to destroy it.

[Like my first pet. I had a fosterbrother back then, the fosterchild of his new Lady, and we'd discovered a clutch of wild flits. That was a rare thing for our hold, so we each took one. Mine hatched into a green, a sweet little one I called Volaine. His was a brown, a sturdy little fellow called Nall. We kept them only until we got home. Father was angry that we hadn't asked, and when I woke up the next morning, Volaine was gone. No one needed to tell me where. There were green stains on the ground, and as we all know, dragonblood is green.]

Synthis stopped, aware that she was probably dragging on now. [Sorry, M'att.] she said, sighing. [I guess I'm kinda rambling now. I'm not even sure whether I'm a good story-teller or not. But... you asked he question that ropes into all of them...] She sighed. Tears were coming, and though she denied them, a few did find a way through. She looked at M'att.

[Is... is there anything else?]

Xiua, from her nearby weyr, crooned gently, mentally soothing her scared bonded. {I could not be prouder of you, little one.}

'But, why? What have I done?'

{Courage, little one, is not only in battle.}

((Haha... and, YES! FINALLY! I made her past up a while ago, and was just itching to have her tell someone! ^_^))

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Replies:

Your smile has really thrown me... -- M'att -- Ashertith, 05:50:28 05/02/05 Mon
- Rage/Fear (NT) -- Synthis, Xiualith, 04:30:57 05/04/05 Wed
  - Rage/Fear(Sorry!) -- Synthis, 05:48:40 05/17/05 Tue
    - This is not like me at all... -- M'att -- Ashertith, 08:32:28 05/17/05 Tue
      - Sad/Confused -- Synthis, 05:44:47 05/20/05 Fri
        I never thought I'd know... -- M'att -- Ashertith, 09:09:21 05/20/05 Fri
        It's something unpredicatble, but in the end it's right -- Lily(Venieth), J'xom(Xanth), 21:03:07 05/20/05 Fri
        The kind of love you've shown me... -- M'att -- Ashertith, 00:14:09 05/21/05 Sat
        Surprised/Calm -- Synthis, 05:58:45 05/23/05 Mon
        Darth Sidious/Chancellor Palpatine -- Lily(Venieth) J'xom(Xanth), 18:23:25 05/23/05 Mon
        Darth Sidious/Chancellor Palpatine -- Lily(Venieth) J'xom(Xanth), 18:24:04 05/23/05 Mon
        -- , 18:26:18 05/23/05 Mon
        Now, no matter where I am -- M'att -- Ashertith, 02:10:58 05/24/05 Tue
        Stuck in the Middle -- Synthis, 05:53:41 05/24/05 Tue
        ??/Darth Maul -- Lily(Venieth) J'xom(Xanth), 17:44:40 05/24/05 Tue
        No matter what I do -- M'att -- Ashertith, 10:04:52 05/25/05 Wed
        He calls my name... -- Synthis, 05:55:33 05/26/05 Thu
        Darth Tyranus/Count Dooku -- Lily(Venieth), J'xom(Xanth), 17:07:38 05/26/05 Thu