"Oh dear!" says Stardoe -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 04:53:53 12/27/07 Thu
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: "Oh dear!" says Stardoe
In reply to: kande 's message, ""Actually..." begins kande." on 12:42:15 12/26/07 Wed

Weapons are being stacked in a huge pile on the Klub floor. KS is determinedly ticking items off her checklist as her minions bring her what she needs to bring down the no-gifting husband. Bubba is behind the bar surreptitiously rubbing his hands with glee at the amount of firepower that's going to be going off. He can use some of that energy build-up to jumpstart his saucer. Not that he's going anywhere right now, not when the fun is just starting.

"KS, be reasonable," Stardoe begins, which warrants her a glare but fortunately, KS is too busy ticking off items to bonk her over the head. "I'm sure you'll be getting a gift certificate any day now."

The crowd behind them gasps. "A gift certificate!" Kande spits, causing her new monkey hat tassel to bobble wildly. She then feels the need to point out the rules. "The rules are: the gift needs to be secret, and be under the tree by Xmas. And spouses don't give gift certificates, they may as well just give money."

"I like money," the Mayor warbles. She likes gift certificates too. But breaking the rules like that? She gets back to work scribbling out fines and tossing them on top of the weapons stack.

Stardoe watches for a moment, shakes her head sadly, and leaves the room mumbling under her breath. "You leave me no choice."

"OK, people, listen up!" KS claps her hands loudly and starts gathering the crowd around her. "I'm going to hand out weapons now and start the search for my offline husband. Just hold him at gunpoint if you find him, and I'll take care of the actual chastising." She glares at them to make sure they understand. "We are NOT after JD or any of my other casual TV flings. They got me that pile of presents over there." She waves casually at the far side of the room, where her gifts from her paramours almost dwarves the gifts for the Mayor. The Mayor notices the size of the mound and frowns, going back to her table to write out more fines.

Rabid raises her hand. "When we find him, can we nick him with a bullet? You know, just to subdue him until you get there?"

KS ponders this for a moment. "OK, but no main arteries. And no brain penetration! I've got something special planned for him down in the torture chamber."

The swinging doors to the Klub are thrown back as Stardoe makes a dramatic re-entrance. Kande runs and dives to save her special bike trophy which has teetered in the wind from the doors and fallen off its specially-made shelf.

"It's no use, Stardoe. She won't listen." CW informs her sadly.

"Oh, she'll listen to this." Stardoe pushes IG in front of her, where she starts reading shipper-y fanfic in a chant. KS screams and covers her ears, falling to her knees. IG begins chanting even louder.

"It's like the exorcist," Kande breathes, backing up into Bubba and grabbing him. "We should leave before the projectile puking begins."

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Replies:

Wait, what am I saying? Kande says. -- Kande's Sis, 12:25:15 12/27/07 Thu
"All right, that's enough." -- kande, 12:28:13 12/27/07 Thu
- KS is almost back to normal -- Kande's Sis, 12:49:39 12/27/07 Thu
  - As Kande begins to speak... -- Stardoe, 05:45:04 12/31/07 Mon
    - KS falls for the diversion -- kenamom, 08:19:29 12/31/07 Mon
      - Nice, very nice -- Kande's Sis, 14:52:41 12/31/07 Mon
        Meet Gary the drunk car salesman.... -- KM, happy 2007 is coming to an end...., 18:44:21 12/31/07 Mon
        OK KS, the car's loaded -- Kande's Sis, 12:24:20 01/04/08 Fri
        While the Mayor ponders the mystery -- Kande's Sis, 05:08:41 01/09/08 Wed