"Actually..." begins kande. -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 12:42:15 12/26/07 Wed
Author: kande
Subject: "Actually..." begins kande.
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "Something is seen overhead" on 18:54:20 12/24/07 Mon

"...what you did was give your husband the change of address forms to mail. I think we can all guess what happened."

KS spews profanities most of the Shippervillians had never heard before. "I knew it! I knew he wouldn't mail them! Oh, man, he is so dead. I bet that's going to be his next excuse for not getting me a Christmas present. Well, besides the Zombie game."

A beat passes before everyone realizes what she just said. KM is the first to speak. "You mean, your husband did not get you a Christmas gift? This is the same guy you've been married to for the last umpteen years, right? And he *still* hasn't figured it out?" Everyone gasps. KM thinks for a moment, then puts on her I'm-a-concerned-politician face and says, "Dear, does he have a head injury?"

"Not yet!" KS says between clenched teeth. The words were barely audible, yet echo around the klub. She paces back and forth, her flamethrower burning a mark in the newly sanded wood floor. Bubba follows along with a fire extinguisher, but keeps a respectful - and safe - distance.

KS stops suddenly; Bubba runs into her. "Aha! I've got it! I'll need some supplies." She looks at the crowd in attendance. "Ok, you...you...and you," she says while pointing at IG, CW, and Rabid, "go get me duct tape, strong twine, and some C4 explosives." The trio hustle out to do her bidding. "You," this one to Detoured, "get me a latte (venti, soy milk, double caff, with a shot of pumpkin spice) and a pound of ground coffee beans. Dark roast."

"Roger-dodger!" Det salutes, forgetting she was peeling an apple. The paring knife lodges between her eyebrows. "I'm ok!" she says as she weaves her way out the door.

"You know, I don't think this is such a good idea." Stardoe rests her hand on the handle of her colt 45. The gun, not the malt liquor. KS ignores her. "No, really. It's not a good idea. I mean, he's the father of your children."

KS snorts at that. "Right. You can go get me some handcuffs and a billy club. And if you're not using your police cruiser, I might want to store something in the trunk for a couple of days."

Kenamom is rifling through her fine book, certain some law requiring a hefty fine must be being violated. "Mayor!" KS barks. "I need three pairs of stiletto heels and a cat toy. Make that four cat toys. I have two new kittens."

Kande has been slinking behind the bar, hoping her sister doesn't see her. Alas, she's been spotted. "You," says KS, jabbing a finger with a broken nail at kande, "your job is to kick his butt at ping-pong. Think you can do that?"

"Oh, I can SO do that!" Kande rubs her hands with glee, then runs to her room to get her special paddle out of the safe. "Hee-hee! He's going DOWN!"

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Replies:

"Oh dear!" says Stardoe -- Kande's Sis, 04:53:53 12/27/07 Thu
- Wait, what am I saying? Kande says. -- Kande's Sis, 12:25:15 12/27/07 Thu
- "All right, that's enough." -- kande, 12:28:13 12/27/07 Thu
  - KS is almost back to normal -- Kande's Sis, 12:49:39 12/27/07 Thu
    - As Kande begins to speak... -- Stardoe, 05:45:04 12/31/07 Mon
      - KS falls for the diversion -- kenamom, 08:19:29 12/31/07 Mon
        Nice, very nice -- Kande's Sis, 14:52:41 12/31/07 Mon
        Meet Gary the drunk car salesman.... -- KM, happy 2007 is coming to an end...., 18:44:21 12/31/07 Mon
        OK KS, the car's loaded -- Kande's Sis, 12:24:20 01/04/08 Fri
        While the Mayor ponders the mystery -- Kande's Sis, 05:08:41 01/09/08 Wed