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Date Posted: 23:37:44 12/23/05 Fri
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: KS peers down from the top of the stairs
In reply to: Stardoe 's message, "Stardoe picks up the plate of Vancouver crab" on 20:23:58 12/23/05 Fri

"What are you two doing down here?" KS asks as she hauls out her machete from her weapons belt and starts swatting at spider webs. In no time, the intrepid assassin has completely demolished all the webs and the top of Stardoe's Christmas tree so Stardoe can put on the angel at the top.

"Just enjoying some nog," the Mayor shows KS the large mug of eggnog she's been enjoying, then gives a discreet hiccup. Stardoe quickly covers up the crabshells she'd been snacking on.

KS hooks her thumbs on her belt. "Party's starting at the Klub," she informs the two, jerking her head at the stairs. "Kande told me to come and get you."

Stardoe and the Mayor quickly gather up sweaters and head out into the cold air. Stardoe shudders, she'd just come from the balmy outback and wasn't used to being back in Shipperville. The Mayor whips out her knitting needles and in no time, Stardoe is sporting a spiffy poncho. "Consider that your Christmas gift," the Mayor tells her jauntily. "I trust my gift was already shipped to the Klub for Sunday's unwrapping ceremony?"

Stardoe looks at her blankly and then remembers. She'd shipped the gift last July. "Of course it is! You know I'd never forget you, Mayor." Behind the two, KS rolls her eyes. As if the Mayor would ever allow anyone to forget. There were billboards all over the world reminding everyone to buy the Mayor Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, send Mother's Day cards, Mayoral Day gifts, etc., etc. The Mayor had a list of things she wanted that was at least as large as a dictionary, and was listed at all the world's major department stores.

The trio fling back the doors to the Klub. "I'm here!" The Mayor flings out her arms. "Let the party begin!" Stardoe heads for the bar and KS grins when she sees PFC 1 and PFC 2 sitting at a table at the foot of the stage. Just as she reaches the table, a thin young blonde man comes out with the Dancing Dana's and Red Speedo Revue and bursts into song.

"Is that Aaron Carter? The brother of one of the Backstreet Boys?" The Mayor asks, staring at the stage. CW, IG, Det, Rabid, Stardoe and Kande all crowd behind her.

"What's that he's singing?" IG asks, craning to hear.

"I think it's 'I want candy,'" CW informs her. She puts her hand on her hips and looks at Kande over her half-glasses. "You put him up to that, didn't you?"

Rabid chuckles. "She probably thought he was talking about her!" The whole crowd laughs as Kande looks indignant.

"I did not! I--" Kande stops as she looks over at PFC 2 who is looking over at her and smiling at horrible smile as she whips her hand back and forth across her throat in a slicing motion while gesturing toward Aaron Carter. "Ack! He's here to kill me!"

"Oh please," KS groans. "If there were another assassin in town, I would know it. It's a professional courtesy to inform me, you know."

"Your youngest daughter's a psycho and you know it!" Kande screeches. Bubba drops a platter of beer mugs and claps his hands to his armpits to block the sound.

The whole crowd turns and looks at PFC 2. She looks up at them with her big blue eyes, spins a lock of her white hair, and crosses her little legs in their lacy white tights under her red velour santa dress.

"Oh KS, she is just adorable!"

"What a little angel!"

"Honestly, Kande, you must have the heart of a grinch. How could you think such a thing?" They all turn and scowl at Kande.

"Are you guys kidding? She's KS's flesh and blood!"

"Hmm. She does have a point." The Mayor whips her head back and forth between KS and PFC 2. "But she doesn't look a thing like KS. I'm sure there isn't a single killer gene in her wee little body."

That settled, the crowd sits down to enjoy the show. The Dancing Dana's are doing obscene things to candy canes while the Red Speedo Revue rubs chocolate syrup on their bodies. PFC 2 turns and smirks at Kande while everyone else is drooling over the dancers. She pantomimes being hung and then turns her eyes into x's and allows her tongue to droop from her mouth.

"Did you see that! She did one of those cartoon dead body thingies!" Kande is beside herself with fear. Sensing it, PFC 2 starts stabbing her hamburger with a knife, over and over. "Eeep!" shrieks Kande, throwing up her dishrag and running into the kitchen.

Watching them, Bubba shakes his head. He knows whom they should all really fear.

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