| Subject: Re: The script continues |
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Date Posted: 00:36:12 07/10/02 Wed
In reply to:
's message, "Re: The script continues" on 15:39:53 07/09/02 Tue
>
>Int. Back room of Store
>
>Employee 1 reads over the shoulder of employee 2. Emp
>2 is working on something, moves papers around and
>writes in a log of some sort. Emp 2 is obviously
>bothered by the reading being done over him.
>
>Emp 2 (already a little flustered - not looking up)
>What's...(sighs)...Do you need something?
>
>Emp 1
>Not really. (Pause) Are you getting paid to do that?
> (pause) Is that work?
>
>Emp 2
>Yes
>
>Emp 1
>What is it?
>
>Emp 2
>It's work...Inventory. I'm preparing the orders for...
>
>Emp 1
>I just thought you said you were going to be working
>on the new displays.
>
>Emp 2
>That's where you're wrong. I said YOU were going to
>be working on the new displays.
>
>Emp 1
>Well, I thought I said I wouldn't do the displays.
>That wasn't in my job description.
>
>There's the sound of a display being knocked down in
>the store front.
>
>Emp 2 (looks in the direction of the storefront)
>What is he doing out there...Look, I'm busy here.
>Just go out front with Jay. It sounds like he needs
>some help
>
>Emp 1
>Jay left
>
>Emp 2
>What? Where'd he go?
>
>Emp 1
>How should I know?
>
>Emp 2 (angrily)
>What did he say when he left?
>
>Emp 1
>He said he didn't want to do the displays two weeks in
>a row and he...
>
>Emp 2
>Goddamnit! Did you tell him that I wanted him to do
>the displays?
>
>Emp 1
>That's what you said.
>
>Emp 2
>That's it! You're through here. This isn't working...
>
>Emp 2 is interrrupted by a dog bark from the store
>front
>
>Emp 2
>MOTHERFUCKER
>
>Store front - Emp 2 comes charging out to find a dog
>eating candy as fast as it can as it growls and barks
>at the martian girls and Tim who are waiting outside
>of the door.
>
>EMP 2
>MOTHERFUCKER! Is this your dog?
>
>Emp 1
>You told me to bring that dog.
>
>Emp 2
>Are you fucking nuts? Why would I...Get it out of
>here!
>
>Emp 1
>I'm not going near that thing.
>
>The voices of the girls can be heard - they cry "We
>need candy!" one of the girls yells "That dog's
>drooling!" The rest reply with giggles and
>"EEEWWWWW!!"
>
>Emp 2
>Get your dog OUT GET OUT WITH IT!
>
>Emp 1
>I don't own a dog, chief.
>
>Emp 2 (to the girls)
>Just a minute, okay ladies?
>
>The girls giggle
>
>Emp 1
>That thing followed me because you told me to bring a
>dog to work. It wasn't so mean before it got to this
>candy.
>
>Emp 2
>WHY WOULD I TELL YOU TO BRING A DOG TO WORK? WHAT THE
>FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
>
>EMP 1
>Maybe because you fucking like dogs? Can I read your
>mind?
>
>Emp 2
>GET OUT!! YOU'RE FIRED!!
>
>Emp 1
>FUCK YOU AND FUCK CANDY!
>
>Emp 1 storms out. The girls rush in through the open
>door. They drag tim with them.
>
>Emp 2
>I'm sorry, but we're temporarily closed here. You're
>gonna have to leave.
>
>The girls go straight to the candy bars
>
>Emp 2 (emtremely flustered)
>Ladies, please. Can't you see that I have to get this
>dog out of...
>
>Mali
>Sign say OPEN (She makes a gesture that in no way
>could mean open)
>
>Emp 2
>Please...
>
>Trisha (to Tim)
>OOOH!! Los candy bars es muy tasty for you!
>
>Tim
>I don't want candy...(to Emp 1) Hey there's a dog!
>
>Emp 2
>I KNOW!...I want you all to leave! I'm calling animal
>control and if you're not gone by the time I'm off
>then I'm calling the cops!
>
>The girls are shoving candy at Tim's face.
>
>Emp 2
>Hey! That candy's not free. You pay for that before
>you eat it.
>
>Angie
>Free for the dog! Free for us!
>
>Emp 2
>This dog is going to be put to sleep...Do you
>want...(into phone) hello?
>
>Split screen - the animal control operator is watching
>TJ Hooker.
>
>A.C.
>Hello?
>
>Emp 2
>Yes, I need you to come get a vicious dog.
>
>A.C.
>Uh-huh
>
>Emp 2
>Yes, it's tearing up my store...
>
>A.C.
>And it's a dog?
>
>Emp 2
>Yes, my address is...
>
>A.C.
>What kind of dog is it?
>
>Emp 2
>Well, from the way my employee described its behavior
>i would say it's a manic-depressive.
>
>A.c.
>I see. And what kind of store is it?
>
>Emp 2
>Sir, It's eating all of my candy.
>
>A.C.
>Candy store?
>
>Emp 2
>Yes.
>
>A.c.
>Okay, just let it do it's thing. All that candy.
>It'll be dead my morning.
>
>The Animal Control man hangs up. Throughout his
>conversation we hear the girls forcing candy on Tim.
>We catch glimpses of tim trying to run away, slipping
>on candy and the girls catching him. Emp 2 puts his
>elbows on his counter and his head in his hands.
>
>Emp 2 (to the dog, then the girls)
>Please stop destroying my store.
>
>The dog looks up and growls
>
>Mali
>Here, we pay!
>
>Emp. 2
>Uh-huh
>
>The girls walk up to the counter holding Tim in front
>of Emp 2
>
>Angie
>We trade you. This candy (she shows a bag full of
>candy) for this...
>
>She punches Tim in the stomach, who pukes on the
>counter. The dog looks up.
>
>Girls
>EEEEWWWWWW
>
EMPLOYEE 2
Fucking martians.
INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
A "little person" (a dwarf) sits on a large director's chair dressed in elf-garb. In front of him is what appears to be a wizard. They both have coffee.
ELF
So you're the wizard then?
WIZARD
Yep.
They sip their coffe.
ELF
How's that workin' out for you?
WIZARD
Well, work's been slow.
ELF
Tell me about it. No one believes in Santa anymore... for each person who doesn't one elf gets fired.
The elf frowns in a cute-like sad puppy dog face. A TV audience from nowhere goes "awwwwwwwwwww"
WIZARD
BULLSHIT! FEEL MY POWER!
The wizard pushes the Elf's chair with magic.
The Elf's chair falls over at that point and there is an America's Home Video-esque "boing!" noise as well as studio laughter.
We pull away from this scene to reveal it has taken place on a portable TV:
INT. CAR - DAY
Greg holds the portable TV and he is LAUGHING SO HARD.
The big guy who semi-abducted him puts an arm around Greg. We can now see that the big guy is in fact none other than
CHRIS TAYLOR
You like my tee vee?
GREG
Yeah. FUNNY FUCKING SHIT!
Chris Taylor removes his arm from Greg and it comes away covered in vomit.
CHRIS
I like your thtyle. There'th thomething about you that I find fathinating.
Greg looks up at this and seems annoyed.
GREG
Shut the fuck up.
CHRIS
Thorry. Yeth thir, I thut up now.
GREG
What the hell is wrong with you?
CHRIS
I lithp.
GREG
I'm bored.
CHRIS
Maybe I thould pull over.
GREG
Why?
CHRIS
I have to take a thit.
GREG
Oh shit! Yeah! Me too!
Greg suddenly seems very happy.
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