Lieutenant Charles James Smith, M.D. -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 19:07:40 12/21/04 Tue
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: Lieutenant Charles James Smith, M.D.
In reply to: CW 's message, "Stomping back to her house, KS" on 08:15:12 12/21/04 Tue

"Whoever that is," KS mutters to herself as she hurries back over to the Klub for an Emergency Christmas meeting. Fortunately, she had done all her shopping back in July. She bursts through the doors and Bubba hands her a hot chocolate with a candy cane sticking out of it.

"Brrr, it's cold out there tonight," CW exclaims as she follows KS through the doors. The Lieutenant is right behind her in a long gray coat with medals pinned all over the front. He salutes the gathered crowd and sits, declining hot chocolate for a tot of eggnog. KS glares at him, as she tries to figure out his name.

"Little Lieutenant Chuckie Jerome Smith-Mason-Doofus," she hisses at him. He just winks at her. The Mayor bangs on the table with a ladle.

"May I have your attention, please," she hollers over the gossiping going on. "We have a dire Shipperville emergency." The crowd falls silent. "That's better. Now, as everyone knows, Mulder usually plays Santa and hands out the gifts on Christmas day."

"He makes such a dreamy Santa," IG grins goofily and gazes skyward.

"Such a tight little..." Det begins, but the Mayor interrupts her.

"Mulder's been called out of town on official FBI business, so we need a new Santa. And the best person for the job, naturally, is..." the Mayor pauses dramatically while everyone holds their breath, "KS!"

"But of course!" the Lieutenant says heartily while KS stares at the Mayor in disbelief. "She's perfect for it!"

"Are you all INSANE?" KS shrieks, standing up and displaying her perfectly toned abs. She typically only gains about a quarter of an ounce during the holidays despite all the sugar cookies and oatmeal cookies JD makes for her from her grandmother's recipes. On the other hand, her sister...KS glances pointedly over at Kande, who defiantly hitches up her XXX-large sweatpants over her belly.

"I agree with the Mayor," CW says cheerfully. "The white hair..."

KS grabs at her hair. "I just dyed it darker!"

"Not to mention the whiskers," IG discreetly points at KS's chin. KS immediately takes her hands away from her hair and clasps her chin.

"The red nose and cheeks," the Mayor points out.

"It was cold outside!" KS wails.

"And her belly shakes like a bowl full of jelly when she laughs," Kande informs everyone.

"Liar," KS hisses. Kande just sticks her tongue out at her.

"That settles it. KS is Santa. Now, for our next order of business..." the Mayor states.

"But does Santa have braces?" KS asks slyly. She flashes her mouth filled with metal. The crowd ponders this for a moment.

"I think that was the point of the droll little mouth, drawn up like a bow," the Lieutenant politely volunteers. "You know, to hide the braces." The crowd nods.

"It's settled," the Mayor looks sternly over her half-glasses at KS who looks slightly stunned. "KS is Santa."

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Replies:

Bubba hops from foot to foot... -- kande, 03:10:49 12/22/04 Wed
- Just a second, IG -- Kande's Sis as Santa says, 08:58:10 12/22/04 Wed
- The rest of the fortunate -- CW, 09:07:52 12/22/04 Wed
  - Oof! Get off my lap! -- Kande's Sis, still posing as Santa, 18:28:18 12/22/04 Wed
    - Bubba licks his candy cane (without removing the wrapper). -- kande, 03:51:37 12/23/04 Thu
      - Blinking in surprise -- CW--that makes two of us, 07:20:57 12/24/04 Fri
        T'was the night before Christmas -- Kande's Sis, 14:21:21 12/24/04 Fri
        T'was the night before Christmas -- Kande's Sis, 14:23:04 12/24/04 Fri
        Later on Christmas Day -- Kande's Sis, 23:52:34 12/25/04 Sat
        Should we tell her? -- CW, 21:08:41 12/26/04 Sun
        "You know what this town needs?" asks Kande in a whisper. -- kande, 03:33:51 12/27/04 Mon
        KS looks down in disgust -- Kande's Sis, 09:59:04 12/27/04 Mon
        Flying out of the door -- CW, 18:19:47 12/28/04 Tue
        My Barby! moans Stardoe -- Kande's Sis, 07:50:17 12/29/04 Wed