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Bill Sprint, News in a Hurry -- Reverend Billy Rocker, 21:44:48 07/09/08 Wed
Jim Staahl, "Laugh Trax."
Nelson Flavor. Not Flavour.
Who was Gail Matthius?
"I'd like to know who the fuck did it."
Matthew Laurance, not Mitchell Laurance, they are not really twins are they?
Stuart Pankin.
Margaret Colin.
JODI THELEN.
I wish I were dead.
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It can't happen, it will never happen -- Not Superstar Al Green (same initials, though), 10:22:49 05/10/08 Sat
I think, I'm pretty sure, it was a long time ago, I wrote "I'm just too insane to enjoy my own happiness." I guess that was hyperbole. Or, I guess that was hyperbole?
I don't know if it were or not, but I know it's true still today so maybe it wasn't. I can't accept love. I don't have receptors for it. I think the biggest problem is that I want to be loved, desperately I want that, but if it comes, I can't deal with it. I refuse to believe it's anything approaching reality.
I used to manage this madness by only choosing relationships with women that were doomed from the outset. Married chicks were always a staple, along with adolescent girls. Black girls who only liked me for my money (my MONEY?) made up a nice subgroup. Girls from "another culture," especially Asians, also featured prominently. Often, I managed to combine the groups--I've been involved with married Japanese and Latina broads where we had to meet in hotel rooms in order to get our freak on.
I think my greatest achievement was MJ, the meth girl. 16 years my junior, a bipolar borderline with multiple addictions and a boyfriend--tell me THAT didn't take some work to find! It was easy to fall in love with her, since she was completely beyond my reach. She nearly destroyed my life. Awesome. Seeing pictures of her today is still a punch in the gut. Why?
It's no mystery why I finally managed to decide I wanted to be healthy while in Stankboro. I didn't have any of those distractions or the usual temptations. The college girls didn't want to have anything to do with me, so that ruled out the young'uns. My social circle was limited enough that I didn't encounter the other derelicts or basket cases. I was alone, but with friends, and had things to occupy my time.
Now what do I have? For the first time in my life, I have a relationship with a decent, hard-working, stable girl who claims to love me. And I can't do it. I can't make it work. It's not within my capacity. I just can't do it. I just can't.
Pathetic? Not worth pathos. Just disgusting.
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Why does it have to be like that? -- AG, "Executioner", 20:06:38 02/09/08 Sat
Best day ever at the track, worst day ever of my life. Will lose the one person in my life other than my father who loved me because I am a self-destructive idiot, but hit 3 exactas, multiple winners, 2 big wins at video poker, and made myself go to work and got decent tips in 4 hours.
None of it matters because I am losing her.
I lost. No matter how much I won.
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Happy Mardi Gras! -- Huey Pee Long, 16:37:12 02/07/08 Thu
This was a good time.
I don't remember much of Endymion but at least I didn't turn into crazed self-hatred man.
Couldn't drag my gf out to Lundi Gras festivities but we got up early on Fat Tuesday and made it down to see Zulu and Rex. It was so strange...we were just walking up St. Charles and I looked up and said, "Hey, I think that's the parade." And sure enough, there came Rex with us on the front row of the neutral ground. They threw more stuff. I like stuff. I like stuffed stuff so my little boeuf gras was the ultimate prize. I know I'll never get a Zulu coconut so I have to settle for treasures from whitey.
It was good, though, this Mardi Gras. Better than Xmas or New Year's combined.
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Winning before losing, punched before eating -- Toni Gramsci, "Fool", 15:35:35 01/22/08 Tue
There really isn't much to say about my inability to climb out of the grimy cellar of emotion I fall into when I ought to be having fun. I get blue, emotionally, and feel like I should be wearing a death masque.
There's no reason for it. I just can't see any other option than self-destruction. I hate it! I don't WANT to be like that.
What is wrong with me such that I must destroy my relationships?
I continue to pick winners at the track. The less I think, the better I do. There is a catalog of information about horses in my brain, and trainers, and jockeys, and stables, and muddy tracks and good turf and speed and Beyers...there is exercise for my brain. And it pays.
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That's not really betting, is it? -- Fair Grounds Ghost of Christmas Yet to be, 20:45:37 12/24/07 Mon
I bet $40 on a horse today based almost entirely on the trainer/jockey combo. I think I only got $16 back on that little venture, meaning the horse was a heavy, heavy favourite. But I wanted that $16. Get it?
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It's only money -- Man jumping out of skyscraper ca. 1929, 11:48:05 12/23/07 Sun
I certainly enjoy going to the track. I am getting good at handicapping based on DRF and all that other shit. I was never really good at math and yet I enjoy organising information and working out stuff.
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Ah, sweet technology -- Ned Ludd, 12:23:30 08/30/04 Mon
ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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So wait..... -- Confused guy, 08:03:17 08/23/04 Mon
Mike's board is back up and running by I can't to the HOJ from work and yet I got to it from home last night?
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It's quiet in here... -- Observant guy, 13:58:07 08/21/04 Sat
Too quiet!
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So... -- CRR, 09:22:43 08/20/04 Fri
Who all made it here?
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Replies:
And these are the fucking retards that re-elect W in November -- Joe Scarborough, 08:04:21 08/20/04 Fri
How can fucking people still believe shit that just isn't true????
Poll finds many still believe Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, Al Qaeda link
By Associated Press | August 20, 2004
More than half of Americans, 54 percent, continue to believe Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or a program to develop them before the United States invaded last year, according to a poll released Friday.
Evidence of such weapons has not been found.
Half believe Iraq was either closely linked with al-Qaida before the war (35 percent) or was directly involved in the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on this country (15 percent).
The poll by the Program on International Policy Attitudes at the University of Maryland found the numbers on both questions have dropped in the face of evidence that both pre-war claims may have been false.
President Bush consistently equates the war on terrorism with the war in Iraq, though he has replaced his claims that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction with claims that Iraq had the "capability" of building such weapons.
Both the Sept. 11 commission and the Senate Intelligence Committee have raised doubts about pre-war claims by the Bush administration before the Iraq war.
Seven in 10 in the poll say they believe the United States went to war in Iraq based on false assumptions. A similar number say the war in Iraq has given the United States a worse image in the world.
A majority, 55 percent, say they don't think the war in Iraq will result in greater peace and stability in the Mideast. In various polls, people have been evenly split on whether the war in Iraq was the right or wrong thing to do -- a sharp drop from last winter.
The poll of 733 adults was conducted by Knowledge Networks from Aug. 5-11 and has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 3.5 percentage points.
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Fragas Flux -- overworked underpaid GM, 07:46:51 08/20/04 Fri
"Welcome to the future home of
http://applimetrix.com/"
jj's homepage
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Need a little order in here! -- Coach Me Suk-Long, 10:07:03 08/20/04 Fri
Coach suspended for slapping
August 18, 2004
By Alastair Himmer in Athens
A SOUTH Korean judo coach has been suspended from his duties for hitting a female judoka at the Athens Olympics, team officials said overnight.
Suh Joung-bok struck Ye Gue-rin around the neck after she lost a bout earlier this week, earning a prompt suspension when the International Judo Federation (IJF) became involved.
"The (ITJ) told us to withdraw him and so we have had to withdraw him," a South Korean official said, adding that Suh would not be sent home immediately.
The IJF ordered an immediate investigation after a Canadian athlete said he saw Suh hit Ye in a hallway having failed to reach the semi-finals of the women's 48-kg division.
Asian sport traditionally follows a strict code of discipline and many trainers view hitting as a legitimate coaching method.
South Korea's head judo coach Kim Do-jun said Suh had only "lightly hit" Ye.
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Along with Sen. Phil Gramm... -- Clyde Vaughan, 20:22:36 08/19/04 Thu
I too enjoy whiskey and whores!
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Replies:
Kosty likes the boy-girls -- Chubby El-Amin, "still curiously effeminate", 18:51:51 08/19/04 Thu
Really, kosty? I mean, are you sure?
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Keep letting priest diddle little kids, but DO NOT allow this girl to have communion!! -- Cardinal Bernard Law, 08:25:39 08/20/04 Fri
Fucking Catholic church. What would Jesus do?
BRIELLE, New Jersey (AP) -- An 8-year-old girl who suffers from a rare digestive disorder and cannot eat wheat has had her first Holy Communion declared invalid because the wafer contained no wheat, violating Roman Catholic doctrine.
Now, Haley Waldman's mother is pushing the Diocese of Trenton and the Vatican to make an exception, saying the girl's condition should not exclude her from the sacrament, which commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus Christ before his crucifixion. The mother believes a rice Communion wafer would suffice.
"It's just not a viable option. How does it corrupt the tradition of the Last Supper? It's just rice versus wheat," said Elizabeth Pelly-Waldman.
Church doctrine holds that Communion wafers, like the bread served at the Last Supper, must have at least some unleavened wheat. Church leaders are reluctant to change anything about the sacrament.
"This is not an issue to be determined at the diocesan or parish level, but has already been decided for the Roman Catholic Church throughout the world by Vatican authority," Trenton Bishop John M. Smith said in a statement last week.
Haley was diagnosed with celiac sprue disease when she was 5. The disorder occurs in people with a genetic intolerance of gluten, a food protein contained in wheat and other grains.
When consumed by celiac sufferers, gluten damages the lining of the small intestine, blocking nutrient absorption and leading to vitamin deficiencies, bone-thinning and sometimes gastrointestinal cancer.
The diocese has told Haley's mother that the girl can receive a low-gluten wafer, or just drink wine at Communion, but that anything without gluten does not qualify. Pelly-Waldman rejected the offer, saying her child could be harmed by even a small amount of the substance.
Haley's Communion controversy isn't the first. In 2001, the family of a 5-year-old Massachusetts girl with the disease left the Catholic church after being denied permission to use a rice wafer.
Some Catholic churches allow no-gluten hosts, while others do not, said Elaine Monarch, executive director of the Celiac Disease Foundation, a California-based support group for sufferers.
"It is an undue hardship on a person who wants to practice their religion and needs to compromise their health to do so," Monarch said.
The church has similar rules for Communion wine. For alcoholics, the church allows a substitute for wine under some circumstances, however the drink must still be fermented from grapes and contain some alcohol. Grape juice is not a valid substitute.
Haley, a shy, brown-haired tomboy who loves surfing and hates wearing dresses, realizes the consequences of taking a wheat wafer.
"I'm on a gluten-free diet because I can't have wheat. I could die," she said last week.
Last year, as the third grader approached Holy Communion age in this Jersey Shore town, her mother told officials at St. Denis Catholic Church in Manasquan that the girl could not have the standard host.
After the church's pastor refused to allow a substitute, a priest at a nearby parish volunteered to offer one, and in May, Haley wore a white Communion dress, and received the sacrament alongside her mother, who had not taken Communion since she herself was diagnosed with the disease.
Last month, the diocese told the priest that the church would not validate Haley's sacrament because of the substitute wafer.
"I struggled with telling her that the sacrament did not happen," said Pelly-Waldman. "She lives in a world of rules. She says 'Mommy, do we want to break a rule? Are we breaking a rule?"'
Pelly-Waldman is seeking help from the Pope and has written to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in Rome, challenging the church's policy.
"This is a church rule, not God's will, and it can easily be adjusted to meet the needs of the people, while staying true to the traditions of our faith," Pelly-Waldman wrote in the letter.
Pelly-Waldman -- who is still attending Mass every Sunday with her four children -- said she is not out to bash the church, just to change the policy that affects her daughter.
"I'm hopeful. Do I think it will be a long road to change? Yes. But I'm raising an awareness and I'm taking it one step at a time," she said.
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New shit will be up later this weekend.... -- jj, 07:05:28 08/20/04 Fri
We've got new servers in a new datacenter, and we're restoring all of our customers' sites onto them. Applimetrix will go up once those sites are done...
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Thanks for the temporary fix ... -- DS, 21:16:31 08/19/04 Thu
This board has been stuck in temporal stasis for just over two years before today's flurry of activity? Sweet.
I suggest we all get over to Fraga's house and lay some "denial of service" attack on his Portugee ass.
Actually, I can't help wondering if my "appropriateness-of-fireworks-on-Sept.-11" post was somehow responsible for the sudden shutdown at Applimetrix, and whether Ashcroft's brownshirts will make my door their next stop.
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Can never see this enough.... -- Jesper, 20:24:36 08/19/04 Thu
From the US College Hockey board tonight, written by one of ours, the immortal Marv's Mullet:
"P.S. Marcum is the biggest horse's ass in UMass history..."
Can I hear an amen?
__________________
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Replies:
Groin -- Groin Daddy, 18:14:06 08/19/04 Thu
Groin?
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Groin!!! -- Fred Primus, 16:28:01 08/08/02 Thu
Well I'll be damned, the economy IS in great shape, ain't it?
"The wisdom of those who have known true suffering..."
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You will play and you will win -- Gazza's latest boozefest, 11:42:35 05/20/02 Mon
http://games.espn.go.com/worldcup/
I will dominate you!!!
The group name is "Drunken Labour" and it's public so you won't need a password. Just join up and die!
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Arsenal Defenders -- Eric's Inner-Monologue, 19:55:06 05/16/02 Thu
What is it with all the arsenal defenders hanging around here?
You knew where you were in the early 90s. No sign of them on an internet message board. They'd all be at the police station for drink driving, or nicking luggage.
And they never had a better defense.
There's a joke about defense lawyers in here somewhere, but I'm too tired to find it.
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The world is truly coming to an end... -- Turkish, 07:26:56 04/30/02 Tue
Yes, Tommy, before ze Germans get there....
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Replies:
Yes! -- The Groin, 08:47:01 04/26/02 Fri
I just took a fantastic shit. There was an initial "big log" which was just waiting to get out, but then there was some blockage...I could feel some other ruminations taking place deep within, but I had to work for it. When the next gas explosion took place, I took the equivalent of another entire dump! What relief!
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Puffy, hold me down baby... -- Ronald McDonald, 14:48:25 04/28/02 Sun
From the New York Post...
By JARED PAUL STERN with PAULA FROELICH and CHRIS WILSON
April 22, 2002 --
Combs: send out the clowns
CLOWNS are no laughing matter to Sean "Puffy" Combs.
The swaggering rap royal is widely reported to suffer from coulrophobia, an irrational fear of the red-nosed, oversized-shoe-wearing, greasepainted circus buffoons.
There have even been reports that Combs has gone as far as demanding a "no-clown clause" in his performance contracts.
Puffy’s mouthpiece, Nathalie Moar, insists that he’s not a clown-coward - but we’ll wager that the rough-and-tumble rapresario will get nowhere near the clown convention that’s taking place in upstate Saratoga Springs.
And it’s a good bet that the baggy-costumed mirthmakers massing at The Clowns of America International Convention 2002 would mow down Puffy in their tiny cars if they had half a chance.
Convention chairman Paul Kleinberger, whose nom-de-clown is "Fuddi-Duddy," accused Combs of practicing discrimination by demanding a no-clown clause in his contracts.
"That would be like me saying I refuse to entertain when a rapper is in the audience," Kleinberger fumed to PAGE SIX.
"That’s certainly discrimination. Just because Combs has been a high-profile entertainer for the past few years doesn’t make it OK for him to include something like that in his contract."
Beverly Hills shrink-to-the-stars Carole Lieberman tells us that Puffy’s condition most likely springs from a frightening clown encounter when he was a child.
"It usually has to do with adults assuming that all little kids love clowns and forcing their children to respond positively to clowns," Lieberman said.
"To a child, looking up at this big painted face can seem kind of grotesque. There’s also kind of a hostile edge to clowns that children can pick up on. I think that a lot of people who are clowns put on a happy face to hide the unhappiness behind it."
But Kleinberger charged that Lieberman was simply indulging in clown-bashing.
"Psychiatrists and psychologists say all kinds of things to justify their degree," he snapped. "Most of these people have no practical experience with clowns. Children are naturally drawn to bright, colorful characters. If the mother or father says the children are scared of clowns, it’s usually the parents that have a fear of clowns."
While the clowntroversy may never be resolved, Puffy and his fellow coulrophobes can find a safe haven in ihateclowns.com, a Web site that boasts the motto "The No Clown Zone."
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Declan and Wilco -- Mel, 09:53:13 04/20/02 Sat
There definitely is a God. Elvis Costello and Wilco with new disks out on the same day -- not to mention new Paul Westerberg, new Luna and new Sloan. Lots of cash slipping from my pocket to the coffers of Newbury Comics on Tuesday!
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Replies:
Groin... -- Groin Daddy, 13:47:07 04/19/02 Fri
GROIN!!!
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Wow... -- Fred Primus, 12:25:29 04/11/02 Thu
New York is pretty cool.
Joe Strummer is pretty cool.
Valium is pretty cool.
Word.
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Replies:
I enjoy the new Crossfire... -- V-Dawg, 14:54:55 04/12/02 Fri
I saw sitting in bed watching CNN's "Crossfire" last night, and I realized how much I enjoy the new format with Begala and Carville providing some spine to the argument from the left, rather than hearing Bob Novak and Tucker Carlson whine and cut in on the left leaning guests.
It's too bad the right will realize they can push around the wussy left host and blackball the show. Pussies...
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Wow. I can't believe this. My faith in US democracy is shaken. -- Len Frankenstone, 14:27:12 04/02/02 Tue
The United States and South Africa intervened in Angola months before Cuban troops arrived in 1975, and not afterward as Washington claimed, according to a historian who recently wrote a book on the subject. Piero Gleijeses, a professor at Johns Hopkins' School of International Studies, said that President Gerald Ford's administration lied about Cuban military presence to justify its covert operations against Marxist guerrillas. Angola was a Portuguese colony until 1975
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If a picture paints a thousand words then why can't I paint you? -- David (not Bill) Gates, 21:48:57 03/28/02 Thu
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Only Carl would appreciate this... -- Nigel Winterburn, 16:43:00 03/30/02 Sat
http://web.ukonline.co.uk/stonycross/
but I thought it was pretty good...
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Replies:
More brilliance -- Wiggum, 12:29:01 03/29/02 Fri
http://viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/donts.php
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Fucking awesome -- Wiggum, 16:59:23 03/28/02 Thu
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jacket.html
What happened to the other board? Why does it say I don't have access? Is there something I am not supposed to know?
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Replies:
Nat Binns I need to talk to you. My organization is holding a golf tourney fund raiser and we need your expertise. If willing to help please get me your e-mail and phone number. Thanks! -- Notorious, 18:37:43 03/28/02 Thu
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I feel dirty -- UMass '87, 17:02:08 03/25/02 Mon
I'm reading David Brock's new book, Blinded by the Right. It's light and short so I should have read it in a few hours but it's so depressing I can only read it for about fifteen minutes at a time. David Brock is a truly despicable person. I can't believe he's getting royalties from my purchase.
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- You probably would have been better off buying Lou Brock's book. If he has written one that is. Brock makes me sick. (NT) -- Guy who just started posting again on the other two boards, 22:58:49 03/25/02 Mon
- April 1998: In an open letter to President Clinton published in Esquire, Brock apologizes for his "Troopergate" expose, which he says was written not "in the interest of good government or serious journalism," but as part of an anti-Clinton crusade. (NT) -- The Same Guy, 23:07:18 03/25/02 Mon
- And more....In it, Brock says he "lost his soul" by knowingly writing things about Hill that he knew were not true, and became "a witting cog in the Republican sleaze machine." (NT) -- Still the same guy, 23:08:40 03/25/02 Mon
- I feel dirty too, but it's because I haven't bathed in a week. (NT) -- Man who is not required to bathe, 00:30:22 03/26/02 Tue
I feel pretty....oh so pretty.....oh so pretty and witty and gaaaaaay!! (NT) -- West Side Story chick, 11:08:23 03/26/02 Tue
I Hate the Three Point Shot -- Mel, 00:26:00 03/23/02 Sat
It has ruined both college and pro hoops. I only wish someone with balls would step up and move to abolish this rule that has made a hideous mockery of basketball. Thank you for your support.
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I want to talk to you all... -- V-Dawg, 08:34:58 03/20/02 Wed
I want to talk to you all about something I feel very strongly about.
There are terrorists in our midst. But they are a more subtle form of terrorist. They don't blow up buildings, hijack planes, or kill innocent civilians.
Actually they do, but they do it in a more subtle manner. By robbing them of time.
I'm talking about: road terrorists.
When I'm called for training (or some other bullshit) in the Norwood, Westwood or Canton facilities of my company, because of my current residence, it involves a fairly long highway journey (122A to 190 to 290 to 495 to Mass Pike to 95/128). When I am on this journey, traffic has to flow at a minimum of 65 MPH for me to be slightly satisfied with the progress on the roads.
Road terrorists are the bastards driving Toyota Camry's on cell phones. Road terrorists are the old ladies stradling the demarcator of the right and middle lanes. Road terrorists are the bastards who stay in your blind spot intentionally, and then when you cut them off, act like you shot their dog.
Road terrorists are every where in this state.
Road terrorists kill millions every year, indirectly. By making me wait 50 minutes at the Weston tolls, or attempting to get to 495 South for the leftmost "Fast Lane" toll booth, they have robbed me of 4 hours of my life in the last two days. Granted, I may not have done all that much in those four hours, but I would have liked to have gotten the opportunity to do something. Maybe I would have said something or heard something witty, instead of a squealing alternator belt or me yelling "Move it, Pocket Rocket!". Maybe I would I have discovered an exciting booger. Who knows.
Road terrorists are everywhere. And our only possible security is the Registry of Motor Vehicles. With that being said, don't look for road terrorism to stop anytime soon.
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There Goes Swifty! -- Mel, 13:31:53 03/19/02 Tue
I am not 100 percent sold on Mitt Romney yet, but he is a hell of a lot better alternative than Jane Swift. Be interested in seeing Mitt's commitment to public higher education.
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Because I Like the Indigo Girls...... -- Mel, 12:47:27 03/18/02 Mon
....does that make me a lesbian?
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HI -- I'M STILL ALIVE -- Mel, 00:41:51 03/16/02 Sat
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I can't even tell you how pissed I am at this man... -- V-Dawg, 15:38:22 03/15/02 Fri
Thanks for screwing up my bracket, Asshole!
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Strange days... -- "Rafe Fines", 07:53:57 03/15/02 Fri
Okay, so I get the boot from my company...so to speak. I was given 60 days notice yesterday that my Joan Severance package (I said "package") will kick in in mid-May. From what I understand that'll be around 6 mos. pay.
So I just got laid off and I'm getting paid for the next 8 months...
Uhh...
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Show of the year -- jj, 23:15:51 03/12/02 Tue
Has to be "The Ozbournes" on MTV. Mother of Christ, I am easily amused, and this show makes me want to piss my pants. Seeing Ozzy blow a gasket after his dog takes a shit on his antique rug is comedy at it's highest. What a fucking riot.
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Hmmm... -- Roger BagO'Donuts Ebert, 11:26:53 03/12/02 Tue
So there's this movie and it stars...
Spalding Gray
Parker Posey
Faye Dunaway
Dianne Wiest
Amanda Plummer
Richard Lewis
Calista Flockhart
Can you name it? Have you seen it? It's quite cheery...
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Jar Of Clay -- Christian Rock Rulz!, 16:48:17 03/07/02 Thu
Rain, rain on my face
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud
But if I can't swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground
But if I can't swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me
But if I can't swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
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Ratings from our friends at Brunching Shuttlecocks.... -- Dining Badminton Rackets, 09:48:20 03/08/02 Fri
Soda Flavors
by Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg
Cola
It says something about modern society that our most popular soda doesn't taste like anything in particular. I mean, I imagine there might be a passing resemblance to cola nuts, but I don't know anyone who'd be in a position to verify such. I once read an ingredient list of flavorings that supposedly go into the cola experience, and it was ungodly long and obscure. It made those complex food magazine recipes for stuff like pheasant au goulet--the ones that require you to have a separate knife for each body part of the pheasant and that require you to know that Bulgarian coriander is actually a breed of sheep--look like boxed mac and cheese by comparison. C-
Lemon-Lime
Actually, there's a wide variety of sodas which I lump carelessly under the "lemon-lime" category with no regard for whether they actually contain lemons and/or limes. Basically, if the bottle and the liquid inside are both greenish, and it's not ginger ale, it's lemon-lime. Fresca is lemon-lime in spite of tasting like grapefruit, and Mountain Dew is lemon-lime in spite of being made out of squeezings from the adrenal glands of snowboarders. C
Orange
When I was working at McDonald's as a teenager--I had a computer to pay for and some sins from a past life to work out--I noticed a cup of orange soda sitting next to a cup of orange juice. The soda was an intense, bellowing shade of orange, the sort that keeps crossing guards safe. The juice, by comparison, was a limp yellow, the shade of yellow that tells you the arm's going to have to come off. That's when I realized that we, as a culture, have no tolerance for natural colors. We want our whites to phosphoresce, our pinks to vibrate, and our orange soda to humiliate our orange juice. B
Grape
I actually drink more diet soda than sugar soda, not so much out of a desire to diet than a desire to not be on a sucrose high every moment of every day. As a lover of all things grape and artificial, I have been constantly disappointed by the difficulty of getting diet grape soda in California. One of the few perks of moving to the South is that you can get diet grape soda here, but only Diet Rite white grape soda, which tastes right, but it's not purple! What, I ask you, is the point? Whom, I ask you, are we fooling? It's grape soda, I neither want nor need it to look good in a champagne flute. A
Cream Soda
I like foods that don't actually contain the ingredients in their name. Grape Nuts don't contain grapes or nuts, cream soda doesn't contain cream, Ritz crackers don't actually contain an upscale hotel, and so forth. The neat thing about cream soda is that it actually tastes vaguely creamy. Vaguely. B
Root Beer
My big problem with root beer is that someone informed me a while ago that it tastes like toothpaste. I wish she hadn't said that. I had gone some twenty someodd years without noticing the connection, but once I was enlightened, there it was. I still like root beer, sure, but now every time have I have one there's that brief moment of wary recognition. C+
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Hey, you guys... -- Fred Primusaki, 19:03:22 03/01/02 Fri
Well, as if you needed more proof, here it is...The Japanese are pretty goddamn fucked up.
The Story of Nasubi
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Uhm......oops!! -- Kosty, 15:56:53 03/05/02 Tue
From the AP today......
"Former NBA star Jayson Williams tried to put the palm and fingerprints of the limousine driver he is accused of killing on the gun used in the shooting, Sports Illustrated reported."
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Delaware 85 - Drexel 59?????? -- Mel, 19:54:42 03/02/02 Sat
That sure is unexpected
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Maybe I SHOUDN'T have had those last 17 pints of Guinness... -- Liam O'Drunky, 18:33:01 02/28/02 Thu
You guys know my current job situation, right? Well, our former CEO came back to town last night and sprang for an outrageous boozefest at the famous faux Irish Pub Fado. Fado, I believe, is Irish for "fake." A lot of old faces were there, a lot of good people who were already let go by Tyco. I even got to chat with a young lady with whom I engaged in sexual intercourse back in the summer of 2000. How charming. I'm not sure what I said but I'm sure it was a terrible experience for her to run into me last night. A few of us, the former CEO included, capped off the evening by crossing the street to a dance club called "Uranus." Not a gay club. But imagine being totally shitfaced and somebody saying "I want to go to Uranus." In any case, I certainly put the perfect topper on events by attempting to breakdance and violating all our HR policies while "dancing" with the secretary of our corporate legal counsel.
Have you guys noticed how Guinness actually solidifies your shits? It's like drinking a big glass o' cheese. I should have gotten up this morning and had a big bowl of Colon Blow, because today has not been pleasant when I visited John J. Crapper's device.
I taped last night's UMass game and watched it today and let me say, this is a different team. They are moving without the ball and moving the ball so effectively now that they simply bear no resemblance to the team which was so terrible earlier in the season. Lappas is getting a lot out of these guys right now.
Things I liked:
E's passing. That dude has real basketball skills.
Bay Area Cat Martin's "game." He too is a basketball player. I think we'll grow to really enjoy him.
Kyle and B.A.C.'s use of the bounce-pass into the post.
Kit was Kit. Awesome. I just love that guy.
Shannon is the league's most improved player this year. I know he won't win that award but he's actually a better player than Monty ever was and he looks totally different from last season. Yes, I said that. No, it's fair to say it but he just does everything so well and he's such a tremendous athlete, it makes you wonder what he could have done if he'd been in a different situation. Oh well, no matter that.
The Great Rajneesh Blizzard was wonderful. Again, you see flashes of what kind of player he might have been at some point, if he simply weren't nuts.
One thing I didn't like was Micah's bizarro passing attempts and occasional drifts into cloud-cuckoo land. What was that thing where he just threw the ball as hard as he could at the backboard?
Kyle Wilson must learn to move his feet more on defense. He grabs too much. I don't like that.
Anything else?
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Hey-- -- Chubb Rock, 14:37:54 02/27/02 Wed
Are any of you cheesedicks going to the A-10 tournament? If not, why? Get your azzez (like my use of the lingo?) down there!
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Real Important Basketball Talk -- Mel, 21:01:52 02/25/02 Mon
Just to lighten it up a little. My in-town girls 3/4th grade team wins six out of its last 7 games. I prove to the girls that playing great defense wins games. Woo-hoo. Season over til next year, right?
No, I volunteer to co-coach a slapped together 4th grade travel team. 11 games in a month. Well, we have lost the first four, and tonight, after sprinting to a 22-15 lead with 9 minutes left, we go into an offensive slump of UMass-ian proportions and end up losing to Danvers 24-23. Bad refereeing -- they went to the line 14 times and we went six. Again, way too much like U of M!!!!!!!
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Boy, that thing with Nolan Richardson going totally gonzo was unexpected.... -- Tubby Smith, 13:22:47 02/26/02 Tue
Some exerpts from his press conference that I caught last night.......
"When I look at all of you people in this room, I see no one look like me, talk like me or act like me," he said. "Now, why don't you recruit? Why don't the editors recruit like I'm recruiting?"
He said he had different expectations from those of his ancestors.
"My great-great-grandfather came over on the ship, not Nolan Richardson," he said. "I didn't come over on that ship, so I expect to be treated a little bit different.
"Because I know for a fact that I do not play on the same level as the other coaches around this school play on," he continued. "I know that. You know it. And people of my color know that. And that angers me."
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Who did you cheer for last night? -- Mel, 09:21:10 02/26/02 Tue
I have to admit that I was a Huskies fan Monday night. At this point, I would say BC has to beat Syracuse at Syracuse and then get to the semifinals of the Big Least tourney to have a shot at the dance. And that makes me happy.
It also made me happy to see Big Mouth Ryan Sidney continue his string of bad to mediocre games. maybe ol' Ryan ain't as good as he thought he was.
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Melvin -- Simon Bolivar, 08:25:47 02/26/02 Tue
Maybe it's better if we don't discuss the "battle lines" and etc. for a while. As I said, time heals all wounds, except some yeast infections...and that cut under Dave Gavitt's nose, which never seems to close up.
The thing about the bears caused great distress to my old lady.
The worst thing about "clothing optional hottubs" is that the people who tend to use them either look like Oliver Hardy or Irene Ryan (Granny from "Beverly Hillbillies"), at least that's what I've gathered from HBO's "Real Sex 143: Ugly People Doin' It."
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Far be it for me to advocate being a pacifict, but..... -- Mel, 16:59:04 02/25/02 Mon
...to me it really makes no sense to post over at Mike's so I won't. And while I defend to the death Nick's right to defend a friend, I don't have to agree with the frind's posts.
Anyway, I will not post over there anymore. I have made it through the last few days and came within an inch of pulling the trigger and firing a post, but it just does not make any sense anymore. So I come here -- for some basketball talk, but also to post about the Chinese college student who poured acid on some bears in China. Of course, I still don't know how to make a link work on these boards, so no one will look at it.
The lines are solidly drawn over there -- three groups: the newcomer morons, the strong Bruiser supporters, and those who are trying to support this year's team -- and it is making for an ugly scene. The easiest thing for me to do is to not post and to root the Minutemen on the rest of the way.
And, while I won't post over there anymore, I have to ask. Do you think that really is Klump over there and are we going to have to live through another barrage of crap after the season ends about how bad Lappas is, etc.?
By the way, we really do need a few more people over here to liven it up.
Finally, when will someone explain to me how to post active links on this board? AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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What the Hell is Wrong with Kosty? -- Mel, 13:07:08 02/25/02 Mon
You seem to have taken my role and personality over at the board on which I do not post anymore. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Kosty has lost it!
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Those Damn College Students in China!!!! -- Mel, 14:25:27 02/25/02 Mon
Hey -- leave those bears alone
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2002-02/25/content_289691.htm
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Bed, bud and breakfast.....yeah!! -- Dave, 12:50:23 02/25/02 Mon
I could go for spending a little R&R here......and I didn't even see the part about the hot tub until I was posting this here.....CLOTHING OPTIONAL!!!!!
California innkeepers are mellow about marijuana—for patients
By Yvonne Daley, Globe Correspondent, 02/24/02
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. - Occasionally a guest will show up expecting some revisitation of the '60s or a complimentary joint left on the pillow at night.
However, while partners Andrea Tischler and Maria Mallek-Tischler are ardent advocates for the legalization of cannabis and proponents of medical marijuana, they neither dispense nor sell pot at the Compassion Flower Inn, the first - and maybe only - bed, bud, and breakfast establishment in the country.
Instead, they consider their cozy inn, quartered in the handsome 1876 Gothic-Revival Victorian they spent three years and more than a half million dollars refurbishing, as a place where medical marijuana patients can relax about their treatment and guests can experience gracious hospitality.
Pot-smoking privileges are reserved for those who have a doctor's recommendation under California's Compassionate Use Act, which allows patients with conditions that range from glaucoma to cancer to use marijuana as a medicine. Smoking is confined to a patio behind the inn, surrounded by climbing passionflower vines and gardens and adjacent to the clothing-optional hot tub, discreetly hidden behind lattice fencing. Those who qualify must supply their own stash; cigarette smokers are banished to the front steps.
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Whelp... -- Otis, 10:00:22 02/25/02 Mon
Just one more hour 'til the bars open up.
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The Daniel Pearl Thing is Real Sad -- Mel, 18:42:04 02/21/02 Thu
Maybe it is just because I was a reporter for 5 years. Or maybe it is because I have a good friend who works at the Wall Street Journal. But, whatever the reason, the fact that those scum of the earth Pakistanis killed Daniel Pearl makes me more angry and more sad than I have been in a long time. Senseless death. Infuriating Death. Sad Death.
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Sorry to mention UMass hoop... -- CRR, 22:54:48 02/23/02 Sat
But uh, damn, that was a very nice game to watch today.
Sometimes "things" come together nicely...Ga. State came back from double-digits to win Thursday night; UMass won today; that Sasha chick is friggin' hot; and I'm goin' to the A-10 tournament to watch the Minutekids!
Oh yeah, I'm drunk. And Arsenal won. I almost forgot that. The only thing which could make this better would be to get high...er, in the air, you know. You know what I mean? I hope you know.
Joe Strummer's "Global a Go-Go" might be one of the best albums ever. Golly!
UMass wins, and none of the usual dickheads go over there to post. Hmmm...
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The Daily Dumbass -- Wayne Zalinski, 10:14:00 02/21/02 Thu
I swear I'm going to go to a bar in Worcester and not hear the typical bar/techno music, and I'm going to have a good time. Someday. Probably when I'm 80 and a day where I do not crap myself is considered "a good time".
I'm having a little trouble getting through to my future ex-wife. Here's the deal. Normally, I'm a pretty brazen fellow. When I deal with the normal sluts I go out with, it's no big deal. I can be upfront and brash, because I know if they aren't going to do it for me, there's a whole bunch more that can. As superficial as it does sound, most of the girls I go out with are like toilet paper. Completely disposable, I'm there more for the sake of being there and fulfilling my youth, rather than because I have a nominal interest in the person. I'm a heartless bastard. Deal with it.
However, if there is a girl, like my future ex-wife, who I could actually see myself being interested in, I go into a shell. It's plain damn obvious that we like each other, whenever we are seen together people ask if we are dating or any of that mushy shit. We don't act like a couple, but we act like we could be dating which is a succint difference.
There are some issues though. She has 3 and a half years on me, which really makes no difference to me at this point, but it makes a huge difference for her. The thing that gets me agitated is that there isn't anything I can do about it. For her, it isn't a maturity issue, it's strictly numerical. So unless I take a vacation to the Dominican Republic and get the Danny Almonte/Rafael Furcal/Ramon Ortiz birth certificate "modification", she may never get over that.
Then there is the whole issue of me. I'm so fucking hung up on the girl, that I forget how act like a normal human being. I'm not obsessed with her, but in the female world she dominates my thoughts. Every girl is now a comparision to her. Like the girl who sits in the cube across from me. A really attractive girl, a better body than my future ex-wife, but without the brains and the personality. I can't even look a her anymore without comparing her to the future ex.
I'm not even sure how to approach her. The last thing I want is for us to be around each other and have it be "weird". Plus the fact that last night we were leaving the gym together and this kid who is always hanging on to her, drives up in his truck, and she just says "bye" to me, and starts talking to him. I call the kid "the bald bastard", not because he balding, but because he does the shaved head thing. Maybe he is balding and that's why he does it. Who gives a shit?
Anyway, my dislike for the guy is pretty intense. Every time I do tricep pushdowns, he wants to do cable crosses, and he acts like he owns the machine. One day, I walked to the water cooler to get a drink, after telling him I had one more set, so what does he do? Disconnects my apparatus and starts doing his stuff. I almost went to his locker to piss on his clothes. He was just begging to get rap videoed. He is just a high caliber jurassic assbag.
I'm just not sure of how to approach her.
I love February vactaion. The roads are 50% clearer than they are on a normal week. Which makes Nick a happy camper.
I'm a big fan of "Combat Missions" 10 P.M. on USA. It's like Survivor for law enforcement, without all the mushy crap. It's grand.
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Rob- -- jj, 13:27:05 02/21/02 Thu
Where's the first place on a network you would look for information on site IP's or domains that your company has banned access to via the company network?
I still can't get Mike's site from here and I'm starting to wonder if someone here decided to freeze me and Louis Stools out of that site.
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Greatest night of TV ever? -- C. Martin Croker, 08:58:28 02/22/02 Fri
If you guys don't watch "Adult Swim" on Thursdays and Sundays (Cartoon Network), you are simply missing out on THE most random, fucked-up, dope-induced awesome stuff EVER.
Other than "Baby Blues" (what the fuck is that doing in this lineup? It belongs on Nick At Night or Lifetime), it's 2 nights per week of non-stop "huh?" Imagine if you will a crimefighting trio called "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." A giant milkshake who is a master of marshal arts, a giant floating pack of french fries with the devil's face, and a big wad of meat which rolls around and has a removable brain.
Yes. I am not making that up.
There's also "Sea Lab 2021," which features the voice of Erik Estrada. Imagine "Johnny Quest" set under the sea with a bunch of people who discuss what kind of robots they'd like to be (Captain: "I'd like to be a robot which looks like Adrienne Barbeau--The BarBobot!") or who start pirate radio stations or who go to concerts and flash the band...I can't explain it. Just pack a bowl and enjoy.
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The Chan Is Missing Hall of Fame -- F. Scott Fitzgerald, 13:24:31 02/21/02 Thu
Our newest member,
a great man....
Congressman James Traficant, "Not John Gorka"
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A Question? -- V-Dawg, 11:59:00 02/21/02 Thu
Brother Rob and I have nominated people to be members of the "Chan is Missing" HOF.
Brothers Jay, Matthew, and Brad, and crazy(!) Uncle Mel, who are your nominees for the HOF?
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Hair Club for Men -- I'm not only president, I am a member, 11:02:53 02/21/02 Thu
Gene Keady has the best comb over in America!!!
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The Chan Is Missing Hall of Fame -- Greg "Skeleton Spanks" Shanks, 17:22:47 02/20/02 Wed
Ode to Stone Cold
In the center of the ring,
You do your deed,
Stone Cold Stunnering everyone,
With great force and speed,
Being good one minute,
Then turning on a dime,
From redneck beer drinker,
To a vile piece of slime.
I don't know how to praise you
say what you do best,
Stunner, Snap Mare, or
the famous Lou Thesz Press.
I remember the time you fought Savio Vega
While throwing a tantrum
Yet took time to give my buddy and I the finger
at the Worcester Centrum.
Stone Cold Steve Austin
"Beer Purveyor"
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In my world... -- Spaddy Grey, 09:58:30 02/21/02 Thu
The signs along the interstate don't read "gas food lodging telephone," they read "vomit cover sand mask."
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Goddamn draft beer... -- Pete, The Hungover School Janitor, 16:06:31 02/20/02 Wed
Man, my squash feels like...a squash?
Guys--
I wanted to ask you, would it be wrong for me to just pack it all in? I mean, I'm supposed to be saving for something, but right now I don't want anything I'm supposed to be saving for.
The world, in all its glory, can suck at times, and with my inability to make sound choices (whores, alcohol, drugs--not what you'd call a balanced portfolio) I tend to delve into the suck more often.
In addition, I agree with Nicholas on this one--the basketball and personality clashes stuff might not be the best thing for us right now. Time heals all wounds, except that one by my thumbnail that won't ever seem to go away.
Having said that, I enjoyed the pepper soup. Delicious. My friend Eric Cartman made some wonderful chili the other day...
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Let us remember something..... -- V-Dawg, 15:49:52 02/20/02 Wed
This is the RANDOMNESS board.
Basketball is can clearly be a random thing, but when it starts coming up too much, it detracts from the idiocy of this board.
So keep the basketball chat and personal opinions of people posting about hoops to the other voy board.
I want to ready funny, weird and depressing shit on this board. Not UMass hoops stuff, because at this point with the way people are acting, any board with that kind of stuff makes me less and less inclined to read it.
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"Don't expect to see Anthony Anderson in a UMass uniform next season"- OBG -- GroinFinger, 15:05:45 02/20/02 Wed
To borrow from Carl, 'that is so wrong'
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This season sucks -- Mel, 12:38:59 02/20/02 Wed
The entire season was wrapped up in last night's game. Much improved play from the guards and a total disappearance by the frontcourt. When your opponent's top scorer and one of its starting frontcourt players are not playing, then your team should win the game. And I do not care where it is played. And, when you have the two biggest players on the court, you should not get outrebounded by 16 and give up 17 offensive rebounds -- if those big guys can really PLAY that is. I don't care if Lappas has them plaing the TET Offense(ive), big players with strong skills will not get decimated on the boards the way Micah and Kit did last night. Add in the Eric head butt and last night was a microcosm of the season.
I know a lot of people say it is playing the blame game when one singles out the poor play of a player or players or bad coaching moves. I, however, like to think that when someone does that, they are actually dissecting the game. If you want to critique the play or the coaching, you should be able to. I am not saying that one should post this guys sucks, etc. but actual comments on the playing and coaching.
That is why I am sick of Mike's board and likely will not post there anymore. If you are not a cheerleader you get the crap beaten out of you. If you dare to actually post stats that may prove something, you get the crap beaten out of you. If you dare to predict that the team will go 1-3 in the last four regular season games and then win one conference tourney game to finish 12-17, you get the crap beaten out of you. If you dare to predict a UMass loss in one of Captain Coast Guard's threads, you get the crap beaten out of you. If you make a joke about Micha and Kit and upfakes, you get the crap beaten out of you. If you dare to assert that the talent is just average on this team and that it was huge to lose a 2,000 point scorer, you get the crap beaten out of you.
Then there is that true BruCru that pretends they like Lappas and support the team, but in reality cannot wait to pounce on Lappas and his recruits. Everything this year is Lappas's fault -- from Pugh not developing to Willie being inconsistent to Blizzard being Blizzard, etc. etc. etc.
I am sick of this whole thing.
And where is TheRick? Shouldn't he be supporting all of the new Lappas recruits given that none of them are white? I thought that was his main criteria on which to rate recruits.
Hypocritical sons of bitches.
I am sick of this whole thing. End the season today!!!
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I'll have the Pepper Soup Please -- Mel, 14:12:03 02/20/02 Wed
Man Kills Boss, Turns Her Into Pepper Soup
Wed Feb 20,10:00 AM ET
LAGOS (Reuters) - A Nigerian man who confessed to killing his boss and making pepper soup with her body parts was arrested Wednesday, police said.
Salifu Ojo, a 23-year-old farm laborer in southwest Ondo state killed Christiana Elijah, a 40-year-old mother of four, after a dispute over his pay.
He chopped off her head, hands and legs, then removed her internal organs which he used as ingredients for his soup, police said.
"Ojo macheted the woman after they disagreed over payment," Paul Ochonu, Ondo state commissioner of police, told Reuters. "He severed her parts, made pepper soup and ate it -- all on the farm."
Ojo confessed to other laborers after the soup made him vomit, police said.
"We recovered the trunk of the woman's body and some uncooked parts on the farm," Ochonu said. He said the man would be charged to court as soon as police completed investigations.
Police arrested a suspected cannibal in Nigeria's largest city Lagos in 1998 after several cooked and uncooked human parts were found in his hideout.
The man was not prosecuted after doctors deemed him mentally unstable.
In Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation of more than 110 million people, many believe witchcraft involving the use of human genitals, eyes, tongues and skulls can make them instant millionaires.
Although Ojo did not kill his boss for ritual purposes, police said they suspected he might have wanted to sell some body parts to ritualists.
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A New Theory -- Professor Irwin Corey, 13:46:49 02/20/02 Wed
I am starting to think that this year's disappointing UMass basketball season is a result of the almost snowless and incredibly warm winter we have had in Masschusetts. I am currently involved in researching the matter and hope to report back on the results in a couple of days.
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Saint Joseph's of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- Joe Lunardi, 13:31:36 02/20/02 Wed
So I thought I told everyone that everyone was to refer to Saint Joseph's as Saint Joseph's and not St. Joseph's or St, Joe's. I'm watching the game last night and lo and behold, the court says St. Joseph's. This is unacceptable!!! And every time the announcers refered to us, they said St. Joe's! What gives people??? I'm telling Linda Bruno on all of you!!
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Hello me, meet the real me... -- Ben Folds, 13:30:23 02/20/02 Wed
Satan is my master,
He has always been,
He tells me what to do,
He buys my Metallica records for me
And sometimes I think,
Satan is my master..."
"I met this girl,
she looked like Axl Rose,
got drunk and took her home,
and we slept in our clothes,
In the morning put my feet on the floor,
Thought, being awake never...felt..like..this..
before...
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From the "I thought it, so it must be true" files... -- Fred Primus, 12:46:29 02/20/02 Wed
"UMass doesn't take enough shots inside the arc."
Hmm, interesting then that of the 51 shots taken, 27 were from inside the 3pt. line.
"UMass didn't pass the ball well compared to Saint Joe's."
I'm not sure who said this jewel, but for God's sake, last night was the first time in a long time where they DID pass the ball well (18 assists on 26 made baskets).
I don't mean to spend too much time talking about UMass basketball, since it's very clearly a source of great pain for me right now, but sometimes I just get the impression that people suck and are mean and generally stupid. And that's just talking about Mel!
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"Mary Poppins on roller skates" -- Punjab Davis jr., 08:18:02 02/20/02 Wed
If Ronnel Blizzard (a.k.a. "The Great Rajnish") can play the way he played last night every time he's on the floor...
Ah, fuck it.
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On My Voicemail... -- Len Frankenstone, 14:26:47 02/19/02 Tue
"Corporate takeovers are cool because they allow me to sit in a bar for three hours and do nothing but get drunk"- CRR
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HELLO?!?!?! -- Jeff Gordon, Rainbow Warrior, 10:38:42 02/20/02 Wed
CHANGE THE FLIPPING COLOR OF THE VISITED LINKS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!
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Two Simple Questions -- Mel, 23:59:22 02/19/02 Tue
Are Kit and Micah really this inept?
Or, is the motion offense that complicated and so unfit for Kit and Micah that it has destroyed any of the ability they have/had?
20 offensive rebounds (or something like that) for St. Joe's and we had the two biggest guys on the court.
I don't know whose fault any of this is, but I tend to lean toward the lack of talent argument and guys not fit for the lappas system. But I do know it is really frustrating to watch when your team has the two biggest guys on the floor and your team gets dominated on the boards. And, it is doubly frustrating when the team your team is playing is without its top scorer and one of its top big men and your team still cannot win the game.
UGGGGHHHHHHH.
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Something that makes me happy -- Mel, 16:46:14 02/19/02 Tue
When Rhino releases three Elvis Costello reissues on the same day and they all have a bonus disk with previously unheard material -- Stoked!
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A little bit o' soap will never wash away my tears... -- Alvin Keyda, "Please DON'T call me Al", 08:17:27 02/18/02 Mon
I am heartbroken for UMass basketball. It's bad enough that I don't think "fans" should still be at each others' throats over who the fuck the coach is, but I've now come to the conclusion that, through no fault of his own, James O. Flint Jr. was a worse hire than Ray Wilson AND Ron Gerlufson combined.
Not because of his coaching. Not because of his hoops knowlege. Not because he was a bad person. Not for anything he did or did not do. Lots of coaches are hired, and lots are fired. Hell, Ron Jirsa was fired after 2 seasons at UGA, and in the second of those he won 20 ballgames. Yep, lots of coaches are hired and fired.
What is fucked up is that people who should just be "enjoying kayaking" or whatever hobby they pursue have turned Bruiser's career at UMass into a personal obsession which prevents them from rationally watching a goddamn basketball game, or discussing it over a few cold beers, or e-mailing each other about it.
For those of us who met and talked with Bruiser, we were lucky. It coloured our perceptions. It made us high. It was really something to be that close to the head coach of our favourite team. It was really something exceptional.
EXCEPTIONAL.
Not normal. Not part of the real world. In the real world, coaches are hired and fired a lot. But not in the UMass hoops world where you hang with the coach and he buys the booze and tells you stories about the players and you don't even have to donate a couple of grand for the pleasure.
If Bruiser had been unapproachable, i.e., not himself, would the passion and anger and distortion be there? I can't say for sure, but I have my theories.
Heresy, orthodoxies, liturgy...why? Why did people who supposedly liked each other have to turn who the coach of a team is into a war? Does it matter in the grand scheme of things? I still care about v-dawg's employment situation/chick scamming/car jamming; I still care about Mel's pschobilly freakouts; I still care about Nat, as fucked up as he may be in his opinions...it's just not right for people to behave this way towards each other.
I guess I'll never really know what role Marcum played in undermining Bruiser. I'll never really know what players who were supposed to come to UMass but didn't might have done if they had and Bruiser coached them. But what I do know is that Brusier is not a UMass alum (a la Al Skinner, Rick Pitino) and is not the UMass coach anymore, and that Steve Lappas has said he wants to coach at UMass until he retires and that he wants to be a part of the community, and that he wants his players to graduate and behave themselves.
That's it. Imagine that, that's all I know.
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- I'm not really sure what to say, but this post deserves a response. A further/better one will occur when I have some free time... (NT) -- V-Dawg, 10:52:04 02/19/02 Tue
- Good post, Alvin. And, as V-Dawg has said, one that deserves a thoughful reply. There may be one, but in the meantime I can only offer my theory: basically, people are fragile and need a good punch. People who personalize everything need to drop the men's movement shit and read a little Jack London (NT) -- Notorious, 12:32:30 02/19/02 Tue
- When Delkins posted this over at Mike's, I at least felt a little better about myself after the beating I took from Nat -- If anyone saw Brand in highschool, I doubt there are to many people who thought he'd be anything special at the college level. He looks now very similar to the way he looked in high school. (NT) -- Mel, 16:44:10 02/19/02 Tue
Uhm....OK.... -- Kosty, 11:38:51 02/14/02 Thu
You know, I wish this was from The Onion.....but it's not......
Man convicted of shooting girlfriend who he thought was about to say `New Jersey'
By Associated Press, 2/14/2002 09:30
HOUSTON (AP) A man who has been treated for mental problems faces up to 20 years in prison for shooting his girlfriend because he thought she was about to say "New Jersey."
A jury took less than two hours Wednesday to convict Thomas Ray Mitchell, 54, of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon for shooting Barbara Jenkins outside his apartment in March 1999.
Although he did not claim insanity as a defense, relatives testified Wednesday that Mitchell gets angry, curses and bangs on walls when he hears certain words or phrases, including "New Jersey," "Snickers," "Mars" and "Wisconsin."
They said Mitchell had been committed numerous times to mental facilities for periods of three weeks to three months since 1985 but he had never harmed anyone.
On Tuesday, the first day of his trial, Mitchell did not react when the phrase "New Jersey" was uttered twice within his earshot. On Wednesday, he appeared to be holding his ears closed with his fingers when relatives testified about his problems.
Defense attorney Maria Luisa Mercado argued that Mitchell did not understand what he was doing when he was arrested and was asked by police to make a statement about the shooting. Investigators said he told them he shot Jenkins because he thought she was about to say "New Jersey."
Prosecutor Mo Ibrahim said Jenkins died recently. Details were not available, but Ibrahim said her death was not related to the shooting.
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Dammit, it's my turn... -- V-Dawg, 11:35:24 02/15/02 Fri
As they would say during the Iron Chef:
Valentine's Day...it's OVAH!
So the X-squared possessing chromosone bearers got their holiday. It's a full day long, it's sappy, and even if you do something nice, it's guaranteed you'll have some bitching by someone. If it isn't the object of your affection, it's her bitch friend telling her how her dumbass boyfriend screwed up the day. Which gets me pissed because he's ruining the whole sham. Let's be united boys.
That being said, is there a holiday specific for men? Labor Day and Memorial Day, in memory of great men who died before us. 4th of July, in memory of great men who fought for this country's independence. Look at every holiday. All of them either involve chicks or family. And don't give me that shit about Father's Day. A) I'm not a father, and B) Mothers always get better gifts, it's the residual Valentine's Day guilt that kicks in.
I'd like to propose a holiday. For the great men that came before us and the great men that will come after us. A holiday specific for men, where we can be surly chauvanists without having to "apologize". Jesus that word makes me cringe.
I propose that March 19th be National "Make Me A Sammich, Bitch!" Day.
We have to put up with a whole week worth of Valentine's shit. Try getting a dinner reservation at a nice eatery at the last minute on that shitball of a Hallmark Holiday. You can't even get a fucking seat a McDonald's, nevermind Denny's (or if you feel like slumming it, Bickford's). So the day extends into the weekend, where more of this lovey-dovey shit goes on. You have to "happy", "affectionate", "caring", and "cuddly". Funk dat!
On National "Make Me A Sammich, Bitch!" Day, every woman is required to make a sandwich for a man. Women will line the streets as sandwich vendors, asking "Can I take your order?" in a pleasant way, to which I will respond: "Make Me A Sammich, Bitch!". And glorious sandwiches will be made. Not PB&J, but mofo'ing trile decker turkey and roast beef with Thousand Island dressing and coleslaw sammichs. I'm going to look like Jared pre-Subway.
It would be outstanding...
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Possible Philadelphia bison -- King of the Oyster Pirates, 10:30:23 02/15/02 Fri
I may rally to the Temple game tomorrow. First, is it at the Apollo and does that mean I can count on a ticket w/o any worries? Secondly, where is the Apollo, particularly in relation to the train station. Lastly, anyone going?
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Freedom dictates that we should be allowed to enjoy ad hoc BBQ's in front of the Macedonian Trade Mission. Am I wrong? -- Bobbie & Jack, "Grillin' and Chillin'", 10:10:59 02/15/02 Fri
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Boy those crazy Canadians.... -- Kosty eh?, 10:24:18 02/14/02 Thu
Bullard remark leaves music crowd stunned
By IAN NATHANSON
Ottawa Sun
On this Valentine's Day, Mike Bullard can be assured he won't be receiving any love from Canada's urban musicians.
The caustic comic who has his own talk show on CTV, shocked a gathering of media and musical artists Monday in Toronto during the Juno Award nominations.
Upon noticing a group of urban artists, Bullard quipped: "I'm really glad to see all the hip-hop kids in the front row. That way our radios will remain in our cars."
The mood inside the Masonic Temple, where the presser was held, suddenly dropped to a shocked, nervous hush. When one undentifiable audience member verbally complained the jab was far from amusing, Bullard barked back, "I'm kidding. Relax, all right? Don't get your toque all a-fluster."
"For a very politically correct, forward-thinking, urban-friendly audience, there were literally incredulous blank stares," said Aaron Brophy, managing editor of Chart magazine. "As a community, they're all very concerned about image ... being very careful to say the right thing. To pick on these guys in that subtle racist way, even if it was for comedy, that took everybody aback."
Hannah Sung, MuchMusic's new pop culture reporter, couldn't believe what she heard.
"I scanned the room and saw a lot of swiveling heads and ... jaws dropping," she said. "He has such an alienating kind of humour. It's not about, 'hey, let's laugh together.' He insults people."
Hip-hop artists Baby Blue Soundcrew and Ghetto Concept were in attendance during the ceremonies. Neither was available for comment.
But as Comedy Network spokesman Scott Henderson sees it, "It's Mike Bullard. You never know what he's going to say."
"The reaction wasn't great; it was a very dead crowd. But the matter of the situation was that the focus was on the Juno Awards, not the host of the press conference."
That left the Barenaked Ladies, who'll host the actual awards ceremony April 24 in St. John's, Nfld., to break the icy tension within the room.
"We'd like to announce the Junos in the top eight categories," keyboardist Kevin Hearn said before frontman Steven Page piped in, "For the most uncomfortable press conference, the nominees are: Mike Bullard, Mike Bullard and Mike Bullard!"
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"Al-Qaida Suspect Blows Himself Up " -- Mitch Onion, 19:24:44 02/13/02 Wed
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The most effective horror film ever? -- Bojangles Fried Chicken? Huh?, 08:01:23 02/12/02 Tue
I have been trying to make my way through the film "Bamboozled" this month. I say trying because I simply can't FORCE myself to watch the whole thing at one sitting without vomiting.
I'm curious--has anybody else seen this? Do you have an opinion?
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Terminology for retarded kids... -- The Bloodhound Gang, 10:11:41 02/12/02 Tue
Some terminology the "kids" are using these days...
Rap videoed: the act of being beaten severely, boasting without reason, or spending excessive amounts of money
ex. "Joey took Sally to Sizzler and before he knew, he was getting rap videoed!"
Goodburger: the public way of say a flaming pile of shit. Named after the Nickelodeon movie "Goodburger".
ex. "I used to own a 86 Volkswagen. Now that was a Goodburger if I ever saw one."
Slong: A general all purpose noun replacing all words that end in "ong". Created when my friend Kurt's speech impediment prevented him from saying "schlong".
ex. "It's been a slong time buddy!"
"Yeah, I know, there is something slong with me.."
Assclown: noun or a verb, just a general profane word.
ex. "Boy, you got assclowned with that microbiology issue!"
Dish: to fall unexpectedly
ex. "Buddy dished down the stairs. Funny shit."
Placeholder: a temporary job or situation.
ex. "I'm only taking this placeholder because the economy sucks." "Marci? Oh, she's just a placeholder..."
Chip-block: the art not allowing someone to cut in front of you at a toll both.
ex. "Some assclown in a Caddy tried to beat me to the booth, so I chip-blocked him into the fast lane, and I was home free.."
"Ride the snake": Being "in the zone", or doing something completely stupid
ex. "Then Kurt started talking to back-tattoo girl, talk about riding the snake!"
Scooby-doo: ominous, fishy, mysterious
ex. "I'm not sure about you, but there is something seriously Scooby-doo about Liz's boyfriend."
"King of the Road" - dunce, fool, moron
ex. "K-A-T", "Well aren't you the King of the Road?"
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I done got Adobe Photoshop again...CRRAAZZYY! pictures to follow! -- V-Dawg, 09:05:10 02/13/02 Wed
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Outstanding! Someone get Tom O' this address -- Bengali Feingold, 08:27:56 02/13/02 Wed
Tom O on MIke's Board:
"I remember the days when we would communicate by sending rocks of various sizes and shapes from village to village by runner. New posts were added by adding glyphs painted with sheeps blood to the rocks.
"Flaming" originated when runners were sent to the originating poster's hut with bags of burning embers that were tossed onto his thatched roof.
Mike was the last of the old runners, opting to switch to the magical glowing rocks we use today.
I prefer the old ways, but have changed with the times.
Go UMass! (a small, triangular rock laced with mica)"
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Thanks Joe, that reminds me of a funny story... -- Red Skelton, 08:42:06 02/13/02 Wed
http://newark.rutgers.edu/~lcrew/quotes/picnicba.html
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Incredible line... -- Frank Thermogenics, 11:03:03 02/12/02 Tue
"You love that tunnel more than me!"
(after bitter pause and bored look)
"I love syphillis more than you."
I was flipping around the tube yesterday and caught a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" rerun. Evil vampire guy's latest victim/girlfriend was whining at him.
Incredible. I'll never forget that.
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Creamed Chipped Beef on Toast -- Lonnie Baxter, 13:23:07 02/11/02 Mon
Dear CNN,
Thank for you Joie Chen's updates. As a big fan of Ms. Chen who frequently engages in autoerotic acts while she appears on the screen, these updates cannot come fast enough.
I would like to register a complaint, however, with the defection and subsequent surgical alteration of Ms. Greta Van Susteren. Not only did I find Ms. Van Susteren's eye bags to be extremely stimulating, but the stirring title of her program "The Point with Greta Van Susteren" made blood rush to other parts of my body. Because of your unwillingness to compensate Ms. Van Susteren in a fair manner, I was forced to destroy my shrine to her and disband my "The Point with Greta Van Susteren" cult.
I noticed last week that bizarre facist Neal Boortz was hosting "Talk Back Live." If this is any indication of what can be expected in the future, please accept my penis.
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The Lament.... -- V-Dawg, 20:22:38 02/08/02 Fri
Oww, my ass hurts.
Yep, there is nothing like a good cornholing on the highway. Usually when I travel to Westwood for work (for those who are unfamiliar with area, Westwood is on the South Shore area near Boston, near the bottom of the famed 95/128 stretch), the commute is okay. Granted I live in the boondocks, but the ride home is usually only about 1 hour and 15 minutes. However, Thursday and Friday, the commute extends to roughly 2 and a half hours. I left work at 5:05 and just walked in the door at 7:20. The reason I saved those 15 minutes is because I was going 90 on the backroads to my house. I may have hit a small dog on the way home, I felt a slight thud while I was driving, but I've been so desensitized to the conditions out there, that a small thud is really innocuous in the grand scheme of things.
I'm 23 years old, and I fucking tired. I shouldn't be tired, I should be prepping for a night as the 5 messages on my phone dictate and numerous offers around the office from the female "talent" would indicate. However, I haven't returned a damn phone call or email, because frankly, I just got out of my car, and I can't fucking move. I was going to go to the game tomorrow, but I'm not sure, because again, I can't fucking move. I can barely move my fingers along this keyboard. What the fuck is this shit?
I gather my condition is more than being physically tired. I'm mentally kaput as well. I've been at my new job for a less than a month now, and already my performance is slipping. I think my performance started to slip the moment I walked in the door. I have this mental block about working, it's like the moment I wake up I start fearing that I have to go there, and it's like I just got punched in the face with a NyQuil laden fist. It's fucking terrifying.
I feel like the lead guy from "Office Space". I truly do want to do nothing right now. We all are perfectly aware that work sucks, but at least sometimes we can pretend that we are remotely interested. I'm just not. I was having a fine and dandy time being unemployed. I didn't have to think, I just had to react. Some days, I didn't even have to that much. It's pretty damn depressing. I had all these dreams of getting the good 9-5 job, being challenged, making good money, and to this point it just hasn't happened. It's not for lack of trying, but in this economy who the hell wants to pay someone like me?
My current job isn't challenging at all. I came into the place thinking it would be a good start, but it's not. I don't want to come across as pompous, both here and on the premises of my current employer, but that job is really, truly beneath me. The best ideas come out of challenge and necessity, boredom just breeds indifference. To say that I am bored at this job may truly be the understatement of this short new millenium.
Indifference doesn't really put a spark into your life. It's a dulling, numbing feeling. I never thought it would happen to me. It's making me empty.
I'm trying to understand why I do not stand out. I've been told all my life, by friends, family, teachers, strangers, that I am one of the brighter people that they have ever met. And yet, I've been on at least 15 interviews for jobs I am qualified for, and nothing. Really fucking depressing.
I'm sure everyone here has felt the indifference bug. The best phrasing of the feeling I've heard was from the Chicago based duo, Local H, probably the best legitimate 2 man rock band ever. The guitarist, Scott, has a guitar that is wired like the guy from Presidents of the United States, except with 800hp and more pedals than a lot full of manual transmission cars. The drummer, Joe, is simply the best I've ever seen. The passage, from "Eddie Vedder" goes..
"That's it,
I quit,
I don't give a shit,
you go ahead,
as good as dead...."
It's not exactly Shakespeare, but it works.
That being said, things don't completely suck donkey crank. I'm on the verge of hooking up with my future ex-wife. Actually, there are two girls, one is a transplanted Arizona girl, the other a transplanted Virginia girl. I'm a sucker for the southern ho's. The Virginia girl is the apple of my eye, simply because she's hot, she's blonde, and she can hit the 15 ft. jumpshot with regularity. There are plenty of hot girls out there, there are plenty of blonde girls out there, but a girl that can hit the 15 ft'er against the guys with regularity, she's a keeper. And you can tell she's got an inner bitch in her. Just being a bitch sucks, but that bitch waiting to get out is just so damn hot it is ridiculous. She's going to be back for the Hallmark Holiday (TM) "Black Thursday" (or as the regular folk call it: Valentine's Day), and she's going to be my sweet southern belle to my Johnny Cash. Girls like the Arizona chick come around with regularity, but the Virginia girl, that's like finding a Hartford Whaler - Winnipeg Jets game on tape that was actually good.
So, I'll spend my night thinking of my Virginia girl, icing my quickly deteriorating knees, singing folk songs in a dour voice and watching television. But at least it will be on my own volition.
For the first time in a week, I can smile about something.
There's your randomness for the day/weekend.
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And it's a brilliant chance taken by Van Bronckhorst! -- Bertie Mee, 11:21:46 02/11/02 Mon
Carl, I am going to DESTROY you in the EPL Challenge!!!
Since nobody reads this board who would complain about it, I'll tell you that I OWN YOU!
UP HAYMARKET!!!
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Does this mean he could be related to Tom O'????? -- Howard Cosell, still wants Rob to change the color of the visited links to red, 16:28:11 02/08/02 Fri
Muhammad O'Ali? Boxer's Roots Traced to Ireland
Friday, Feb. 8, 2002
DUBLIN (Reuters) - It's official -- boxing legend Muhammad Ali has Irish roots, Irish genealogists said on Friday.
Researchers at the Clare Heritage Centre in southwest Ireland said they have evidence that a great grandfather of the three-times world champion hailed from the county town of Ennis, close to the west coast.
Antoinette O'Brien, a genealogist at the center, told Reuters that Ali's great grandfather, Abe Grady, emigrated to the United States from County Clare in the 1860s, settled in Kentucky and married an African-American woman.
Their son also married an African-American, and one of that couple's daughters, Odessa Grady, married Cassius Clay in the 1930s. They settled in Louisville, Kentucky where their son, also called Cassius, was born in 1942.
The younger Cassius changed his name to Muhammad Ali when he converted to the Nation of Islam after winning the world heavyweight title against Sonny Liston in 1964.
"Birth records don't go back far enough to confirm Abe's birth but we've established that Abe's father John -- Ali's great-great grandfather -- had a house in Ennis in 1855," O'Brien said.
"There's no doubt that Abe was Ali's great grandfather. Based on evidence from the U.S. we're led to believe he was from Ennis and that his father was called John Grady. At that time there was only one John Grady living in Ennis."
The research was carried out for an Irish television company making a program to mark the 30th anniversary of Ali's visit to Ireland in 1972, when he fought Al "Blue" Lewis at Dublin's Croke Park stadium.
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Mark McGwire? Bone smuggler! -- Juan Samuel, 14:39:30 02/08/02 Fri
I know that I had HOPED that a bunch of looney freaks I know would post random (Random Task?) shit on this board without fear of reprisal. I don't know if it will or will not happen. either way--
1. Yesterday, I ate a bag of "Hot flavoured" pork rinds. The whole bag. I didn't eat anything else for 24 hours. I contemplated having my stomach pumped.
2. I found out there's a chance I might not lose my job for at least another 6 months. Um, like Rob had a plan, and like, Tyco messed it up...
3. If there's one good thing I can say about my life, it's that Professor Notorious has taught me that few issues tend to be either one way or another. Most often, many streams feed a river, and many rivers feed the sea. So cheating on my wife with a young gymnastic chick is not really either good or bad. Come on, work with me, people!
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Achtung, baby! I love it when a plan comes together! (NT) -- Cock Cheney, "Patriotic Dude", 08:11:02 08/20/04 Fri
Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. (NT) -- Morpheus, 08:13:50 08/20/04 Fri
Da, what he said and that goes double for me! (NT)
I-ba dint'ta get-ba a word-ba of that-ba! (NT)
(NT)