Author:
Satan's Angel/Arielle
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Date Posted: Saturday, November 16, 12:23:25pm
In reply to:
Glorindiel
's message, "CHAPTER 2 IS UP IF ANYONE'S INTERESTED>>>" on Saturday, November 16, 07:50:39am
>Chapter 2
>
>-Disclaimer-
>Glorindiel-I own all! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ((OK
>Sorry, that came from “Stupid Hobbit”, Sorry anyone
>who thinks I’m a Vile Copy-Type Person!))
>Karamono- [Matter-of-Factly]No you don’t own
>everything.
>Glorindiel-[Hisses] Vile-Musey-Type Thing be
>silent!!!!!!!!
>Karamono-[Holds up his bat and taps it in his hand]
>Glorindiel-OK, [Pouts] I don’t own all, I don’t own
>anything! Especially Lord of the Rings!!!!!![Bursts
>out in Banshee-Type wail]
>Karamono-and she does not own the lines from Peter Pan
>starring Mary Martin in this chapter either.
>Note-I like saying the phrase Vile ___-Type, can’t you
>tell?
>When we last joined our um…uh…Not-Exactly-Heroes, they
>had just become endangered by the Ringwraiths. Read
>on!!!!Read on!!!!!
>
>Frodo-Did you hear something?
>Pippin, Merry, and Sam- [Shake heads. Random sounds
>of] No.
>Evil Looking dude that’s really a Good Guy- I did, and
>I will help you. I may look evil, but underneath all
>this disguise I am a weird man that everyone is afraid
>of. I am Aragorn. Will you take me on your quest with
>you? I can read your minds, I know what hunts you.
>Plus I can read the sign on the dumb one’s back. [He
>points to Pippin]
>All hobbits except Pippin-[Look at Pippin’s back. They
>find huge sign that says:
>We are on a quest to destroy the One Ring
>The Wringraythes Ringwraiths are after us
>Can you help us? Call 1-800-SHIRE
>P.S. Don’t say my friend’s name-he doesn’t like it for
>some reason…
>Frodo-[Rips sign off Pippin’s back]Fool of a Took!
>[Pause]Hey! I’ve always wanted to say that![Giggles to
>himself] That felt GOOD to say that. I’M ALL
>POWERFUL!!!!
>Glorindiel-We apologize for Frodo’s random outburst.
>It won’t happen again, [Has Frodo in a Headlock] Will
>it?
>Frodo-[Strangled voice] NO!!!!
>Glorindiel-Good…..
>Frodo-[Going blue] 0_0
>Karamono-[Taps bat in paw again]
>Glorindiel-Fine. Spoil my fun…[Goes off muttering to
>herself]
>Through the magic of the rewind button we can go back
>before the whole “Headlock” incident and pick up from
>there…
>Pippin-But you said you wanted help!
>Frodo-KARAMONO!!!!!!!!
>Karamono appears in a puff of Musey-Type Smoke.
>Karamono-[Coughs and fans away the increasingly large
>smoke cloud, then smiles, overly-happy] How can I help
>you?
>Frodo-Do you have your bat on hand?
>Karamono-Yesssssss…[Eyes the smiling Hobbit nervously]
>Frodo-Please hit Pippin with it.[Points to Pippin]
>Pippin-I’m hungry
>Karamono-OK! [Skips joyfully over to Pippin, them
>swings a double handed whack at Pippin]
>Pippin-HAHAHAHA---x_x
>Karamono-[Smiles, then whistles a happy tune to
>himself] If you need anything, just call [Disappears
>in a cloud of even larger smoke]
>Faraway Voice[Sounds like Karamono’s]-I gotta work on
>that!![Sounds of hacking, wheezing and choking are
>heard, then they fade off]
>Aragorn-Ahem…what about me?
>Frodo-Oh, yeah. Well, it seems that no one else wants
>to help, so I guess you got the job.
>Aragorn-[Screams like a little girl] I got the job!
>YAY!!
>Pippin-…x_x…
>Merry and Sam-Yay [Monotone]
>Glorindiel-Wait! He might prove useful!
>Merry and Sam-Yes, he might…[Thought bubble: Aragorn
>being a bridge over boiling lava, then falling in.
>Other not-so-nice visions pop into their minds]
>Karamono-[Appears, wearing a gas mask when he steps
>out of the smoke]Hey! I figured it out! I can
>breathe![Does a victory dance] Now, [Takes mask off
>and throws it into Glorindiel’s Closet of things
>never-to-be-seen-again] Those thoughts are bad! Think
>lovely thoughts! Think lovely thoughts…Think lovely
>thoughts…[Chants it with the Hobbits and Aragorn.
>Pippin now revived]
>Hobbits and Aragorn-Think lovely thoughts…Think lovely
>thoughts…
>Frodo-Hopscotch!
>Merry-Fishing!
>Pippin-Candy!
>Aragorn- Picnics!
>Frodo-Flowers!
>Pippin-Candy!
>Sam-Food!
>Merry-Ditto!
>Karamono-Lovelier thoughts, Pippin!
>Pippin-Christmas! [Shoots straight up into the air]
>I’m flying!
>Other Hobbits-Yay! [They jump into the air, flying,
>too]
>Aragorn-[Crosses arms] I refuse to believe this
>nonsense! [Pause then he whispers a lovely thought and
>flies into the air] Arwen!
>Karamono- You’re flying… [Glides about in the air]
>((OK, to understand this part, you need to watch
>“Peter Pan”, starring Mary Martin. OK? But to explain,
>Peter tells the children that they can fly if they
>think lovely thoughts, so they do and they fly and
>Mary Martin starts singing what Karamono started
>singing. Does that make sense? Hopefully! It’s
>hilarious to me, don’t know how that helps you, but…))
>Frodo-Let’s go!!!!!
>All-[They fly off out of Bree]
>Weathertop
>Frodo-You guys don’t make our presence known, OK?
>All other Hobbits-OK!![They exchange sly glances]
>Frodo-[Falls asleep] Zzzzzzzzzz -_-
>Glorindiel-Awww! How cute!![Starts to run towards the
>sleeping (HOT) Hobbit]
>Karamono-No!! Down girl! Sit! [Chases and catches her]
>Now you made me do this…[Conks her on the head with
>his bat]
>Glorindiel-…x_x…
>All Hobbits besides Frodo-[Start a roaring fire and
>make ‘smores]
>Frodo[Wakes up because of the Marshmallowy-Type
>Goodness Smell] What are you doing?!?!?!?!
>Merry-Nice mushy marshmallows1
>Pippin-[Unable to speak because his mouth is glued
>together with melted marshmallow]
>Sam-We saved some for you, Mr. Frodo.
>Merry-[To Sam, whispering] But not much though!
>Merry and Sam-[Laugh]
>Frodo-No!! Put out the fire!! I’m going to get hurt by
>the Ringwraiths now!!![Stomps on fire] Hey, where’s
>Aragorn?
>Merry-We thought he was with you…
>Frodo-[Offended and uptight] NO!!!
>Karamono-Now aren’t you overstepping your boundaries
>as a PG-13 fic writer?
>Glorindiel-[Laughing hysterically] No.
>Karamono-Do you want me t explain the description of
>the rating PG-13?
>Glorindiel-[Suddenly very quiet and snapped to
>attention] No.
>Karamono-Good…Now don’t let it happen again[Pats her
>on the head]
>Glorindiel-Stupid ratings! [Going all Gollum-like] We
>will squeeze them, [Hiss] SQUEEZE THEM!
>Karamono-Oh, dear, I think I hear the police coming to
>cart her off to that nice padded room…
>
>Will Glorindiel get carted off? Will Frodo get hurt?
>Will Karamono lighten up? Will they find Aragorn? Was
>Frodo telling the truth?
>Find out in Chapter 3…
>Karamono-The torture! More than half the bloody book
>to go!!!!!!!![Puts gun to his head]
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