"Did I say that?" Rabid squirms in her chair. -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 04:51:42 01/21/02 Mon
Author: kande
Subject: "Did I say that?" Rabid squirms in her chair.
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, ""Hear ye, hear ye," KM shouts" on 00:14:47 01/19/02 Sat

"AHEM!!!" Kenamom pounds on the podium, trying to get the Shippervillians to return their attention to her. "People, eyes on ME!" She does her best imitation of Jack from Will & Grace.

The residents grumble, then return to their seats and settle down. Bubba brings drinks to all since this is clearly going to be another long-winded speech by the mayor. KS signals for some pretzels.

"Here's my idea of how to get Scully and Mulder together at the end of the season. Bubba, lights?" The room goes dark and an image appears on the screen behind KM. She plays with the remote and brings the photo into focus.

"Ew! What is that?" Kande cringes and covers her eyes.

"Why, it's Mulder and Scully kissing!" IG swoons.

KS pulls out her machine gun and shoots at the screen. After she empties her gun, the image remains. KS shrugs, then reholsters her gun.

"Are you quite finished?" asks Kenamom. KS nods. Kenamom motions for Bubba to bring up another screen and to remove the bullet-riddled one. When finished, Kenamom pushes a button and the next image appears. The crowd gasps.

"Is that what I think it is?" asks Detoured as she tries to untangle her cape from the bar stool. She loses her balance and falls. "I'm ok!" As she stands up, the crowd sees a scrape on her face.

"Pretzel?" offers KS, chuckling. Detoured glares at her, then sits down on her bar stool.

"Well, mayor? Is that what I think it is?" Detoured demands.

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Isn't that a bit drastic?" asks CW. She purses her lips over her knitting.

"Do you have a better idea?" retorts KM. Silence engulfs the klub. Somewhere, off in the distance, a dog barks.

"Not the dog lady!" whines kande. "Do we really need to revisit the whole 'who sent the poster to Mulder' debate? That was really unpleasant."

KM counts to three before she responds. "No, the dog lady is not involved. Pay attention!" She goes to the next slide, which contains a complicated diagram. "This is how the series finale will go. Does everyone have pencil and paper?" Everyone nods. "Ok, your assignments are: KS, you'll be in charge of explosives. Rabid, you find the research material. Stardoe, we'll need two camels and a llama. Detoured, fix up 8 quarts of eggnog. CW, knit three pairs of booties for William."

"Done!" shouts CW. KM scowls at her, then pulls on a loose piece of yarn, unravelling all three pairs.

"Do them again," snarls KM. CW glares at her over her half glasses, then picks up her knitting needles. "Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Bubba, fill three beakers with bubbling greenish liquid. DBTL, you're in charge of coordinating the car chase sequences. IG, we'll need some romantic music for the reunion. Witchawoman, you'll need to keep The Lone Gunmen under control. I'll handle writing the script. Ok, everyone know what to do?"

Kande raises her hand. "You didn't give me a task."

"So I didn't." KM claps her hands. "Ok, people, let's get to it!"

Kande pouts as everyone around her busily begins work on their tasks. Darn it, she wants to be involved! What to do...what to do...Aha! She chuckles to herself as she sneaks off to her office. "Ha! We'll just see if KM's version gets aired!" she thinks as she begins plotting her evil plan.

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Replies:

In a scene reminisant to the "lets make a hollywood movie' scene from "The Muppet Movie" -- kenamom walking around with a clipboard, 09:06:13 01/22/02 Tue
- Kande begins to scribble an alternate script on a piece of paper -- Kande's Sis, 22:29:38 01/22/02 Tue
  - "...then Scully pats Mulder on the head and breaks into 'You've Got A Friend'..." -- kande, 04:27:58 01/24/02 Thu
    - Kande breaks off mid-hum when she hears the scream -- Kande's Sis, 16:18:39 01/24/02 Thu
      - Murblewump? -- CW, 21:30:49 01/24/02 Thu
        brought out their harmonicas -- Stardoe, 22:11:32 01/24/02 Thu
        "That's just one version I've thought of," says kande. -- kande, 12:04:12 01/25/02 Fri
        He he heeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh haaaaaaah Kquhaaaaaaaaah -- Stardoe, 01:48:04 01/26/02 Sat
        ....meowwwwww...... -- kenamom, 07:22:11 01/26/02 Sat
        Meanwhile...back at the klub -- Kande's Sis, 21:10:00 01/26/02 Sat
        Melissa and [the real] Dogget -- Stardoe, 21:13:51 01/26/02 Sat
        As the frozen Doggett/Melissa tableau rolls past Bubba... -- Kande's Sis, 09:10:15 01/27/02 Sun
        Bubba begins to drool..... -- kenamom, 09:01:30 01/28/02 Mon
        Come to you-ums mommy, says Kande -- Kande's Sis, 21:48:30 01/29/02 Tue
        "Of course I know something," snaps Kenamom. -- kande, 04:39:52 01/30/02 Wed
        Then she sees her sister sobbing in the corner -- Kande's Sis, 19:31:45 01/30/02 Wed