| Subject: Re: The Script begins |
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Date Posted: 16:49:08 07/08/02 Mon
In reply to:
's message, "Re: The Script begins" on 04:18:27 07/05/02 Fri
>CHRIS
>Thankth folkth, I think we all have learned a lethon
>from thethe two boyth. Quite thimply, it'th hard to
>athfuck if you're wearing thweatpanth. They tholved
>the problem nithely by tearing holeth wherever they
>could and beating each other into thubmithion the
>retht of the timeth. I'm gonna let thethe two angelth
>thleep thith one off. Tho now, without further delay,
>ladieth and gentlemen, I thay to you, ON WITH THE
>THOW!!
>
>Chris looks very happy, but suddenly his face falls.
>
>CHRIS
>oh thit.
>
>
>Chris runs toward the bathroom but trips over a pile
>of dishes left by "da boys"
>
>As he falls in the fucking raddest stop-motion you've
>ever seen, his ass explodes in a shower of liquid shit
>that covers the screen effectively "wiping" us out of
>the scene.
>
>The shit drips off the screen showing us:
>
>Ext. Highway - Day
>
>Greg and Tim are on the side of the highway in
>pajamas, their mouths duck taped and their hands bound
>by handcuffs behind their back.
>
>Greg sits down.
>
>Tim sighs and begins shouting at Tim to get up (this
>is indicated more than heard because I am too lazy to
>write the dialogue. Now fuck off.)
>
>Greg just sits there, looking defeated.
>
>Tim is jumping up and down and gesturing wildly that
>thye should walk somewhere.
>
>Greg just sits there.
>
>Finally in a scene very much parallel to the scene at
>the beginning Star Wars where Artoo and 3po go
>seperate ways, Tim gives Greg a swift Kick and then
>moves off in his own direction.
Tim moves quickly, yelling through the tape, but his words can't be understood. He keeps looking to his right as if someone is there listening. greg is still sitting on the side of the road. A car pulls up next to greg. The driver is heavy-set and middle aged - professional looking.
Driver
You need some help, boy?
Greg nods his head *yes*. He struggles to get to his his feet. We see the driver grimace as we hear greg take a bad fall followed by a muffled scream.
Tim stops walking and looks back to see greg getting in the car. Greg is now in the car. Tim starts to head back - he is a good distance from the car.
Driver
You need some help with that tape?
Greg
Umph-humph
The driver pulls the tape off of gregs face. Vomit spills out of Greg's mouth and his nose starts to bleed.
Driver (chuckling)
Oh my, you're a mess
Greg
Yes I fucking am, ass-devourer.
Greg has trouble with the last line because of the blood and vomit. He is now sneezing and hiccupping.
Driver
Oh my...
We see Tim fall in the distance. He gets up and we are now following Tim to the car. It starts to drive in Tim's direction.
Greg
Pick him up, fuckface
Driver
Three's a crowd
The car ZOOOOOOOMs past Tim. Vomit starts to shoot out of Tim's tape. he is screaming as he vomits. The force of the puke then shoots the tape of his face. He keeps his screams coming out of him. As his screams become intelligible we hear this:
Tim
Gobbling everything in sight like you own the place! FUCK YOU, STUPID SHIT!...
In the car we can see that Greg has covered his side of the windshield in blood and vomit and maybe a little snot.
Greg
Let me out, fatstuff!
Driver
I don't appreciate that, son...
Greg
I'm not your son, moron
Tim is now in hysterics
Tim
...I let you win that time you supreme masturbator.
We cut to a scene of two cartoon characters - one has clearly been undergoing chemotherapy, the other is a troll.
Chemo
What is it about us that people like best - our personalities or our looks?
Troll
I think its our knowledge...they want to know what we know.
Chemo (frantic)
OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN! WHAT IF THE CHILDREN OF TODAY STEAL OUR BRAINY TREASURES AND USE IT AGAINST US?
Troll
HAHAHAHHA
Chemo
What's so funny?
Troll
We would never let that happen.
2 years later in front of a class of eager fuckfaces
Chemo and Troll (in unison)
Who would like to know what its like to eat ice cream in a real 1950's nostalgia diner?
Class
YEAH!!
Troll and Chemo wink at eachother and at their deficient lord - a grand cancerous troll named Canceroll!!
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