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Date Posted: 17:09:39 10/07/04 Thu
Author: volt
Author Host/IP: 4.27.250.92
Subject: a LK's diary entry

Posted by Jamelah F. Earle (jamelah)

"The only way I can fall asleep is if the room is totally dark, so I guess it's fortunate that when I close my eyes, all I see is black. But my eyes are open, which means sleep is out of the question."


Does this reminds anyone of like a bad Jodie Foster movie or maybe a cheesy underground comic strip?

"This is okay, because it's now, at three whatever in the morning that I can see things better. The pile of clothes that I've been steadily building over the past week looks like a dead body sliding off of my desk chair onto the floor, something that's infinitely preferable to the only truth I have, the one that says I'm a mess."

Its not exactly Virginia Woolf, more like Squeeky Fromm's "A Letter from Atascadero".....


"There was a full moon a few nights ago, a month ago, sometime. All the nights have started running together now that I've decided to stop being an idiot. And anyway, I don't have curtains on my window, so my room was lit up like a crime scene. Or the inside of a broken refrigerator, one where the door shuts and the light stays on and all that's in there is a bottle of beer, half a jar of mustard, some shredded cheese, and me, wishing I'd remembered to put on an extra pair of socks."

In Cal, this would be grounds for a 5150.....she needs help, for sure


"It gets cold in here at night."

(deep, sistah)

"I haven't slept in weeks, not really slept, and I'm just arrogant enough to believe that I'm doing fine. Or at least that's what I let myself pretend while I stare at my dead body of discarded clothing and try not to think about things. Every night, the neighbors scream at each other, and all I know is that I don't scream enough, that the scar on my foot is invisible in the dark, that if I weren't too lazy to get up and get my cigarettes out of the kitchen, I could be burning myself alive in bed right now.

I'd be warm then."


99 Days of Discarded Clothes: A Journal of a Crack Whore?


"There is a part of me that likes freezing, I guess, because even though I know that I could huddle underneath the blankets and give unconsciousness a shot, this is the only choice I have. Insomnia has taught me that I can indeed commit to something, and I'm going to hang onto it. This is the first time in my life I've remembered my dreams."

The vocabulary, syntax, and depth of insight is about the level of a 10th grade failed cheerleader.........

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