How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Moms spanking talk

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Subject: How parents decide to use and practice spanking

Author:
Trish
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Date Posted: 11:26:03 04/21/25 Mon

Hello. I don't post often here. My husband and I have two girls, age 20 and 17, so both are well past spanking age in our home. My husband and I both agreed spanking should end, and it did, when they each turned thirteen.

I'm curious to ask other married moms and dads who read or post here, how often and in how much detail did you discuss spanking with your spouse?

Besides simply agreeing to be "spanking parents," it was always important for my husband and I to check in on the topic periodically. Often this was during the build-up to a spanking (when one or both of us saw behavior deterioring and causing us to feel "the spanking itch"), or discussing it just after a spanking happened.

Spankings were relatively rare in our home, maybe happening on average three times per year, per daughter, or perhaps roughly just one total during any two-month period. Sharing some of the details, and ways we practiced spanking were, in my opinion, crucial to ensuring their effectiveness. By details, I refer to just about anything related to how we spanked. Being able to trust your spouse (and partner in parenting) with details was important, and clearly only something the two of us should have shared at the time. Our discussions had a huge range of topics, including:

1) the overall process
2) what we intended to accomplish by sending one of our girls to a bit of bedroom "alone time" before spanking her.
3) How we gave a pre-spanking lecture to ensure it reinforced the process.
4) How to actually give the spanking, and what we experienced in the process.
5) Making a big change, and adding a paddle to our spankings when the girls were a bit to big for the hand to work.

Based on all of the above, if I had to name one key factor in spanking "working" for us and our girls, it would be that my husband and I talked about it.

Those discussions were frank, and sometimes helped when one of us had doubts about something related to spanking. We went to great pains to ensure whichever of us delivered a spanking, we did it the same way. I think the verbal reinforcement helped ensure we were consistent, but also helped us follow through with it as something we belived in, though we both absolutely hated when one of us had to give a spanking.

If others are interested in this topic, I'll share more about how spanking discussions happened between my husband and I.

I found and continued to visit this site not long after our youngest got her final spanking, and was considering whether we needed to spank her again at age 13. My husband and I ultimately decided to stick with our original plan (and end spanking after age twelve). However I know some here spank into the teen years. The different discussions, and different opinions and practices shared here have been fascinating, but I'd like to explore more the decision process parents make when they use spankings.

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking Grumpy 15:21:11 04/21/25 Mon

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Trish, 15:31:20 04/21/25 Mon

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking Trish 15:21:12 04/21/25 Mon

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking Becky 19:50:02 04/21/25 Mon

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Trish, 14:32:46 04/22/25 Tue

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Becky, 20:22:56 04/22/25 Tue

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Trish, 13:07:51 04/25/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- MarkW, 12:56:32 04/23/25 Wed

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Becky, 22:35:21 04/23/25 Wed

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking MarkW 13:05:54 04/23/25 Wed

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking BrendaB 14:11:34 04/23/25 Wed

:}Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Trish, 13:17:16 04/25/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking-Stages of Spanking Part 1, alone time Trish 13:48:29 04/25/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking-Stages of Spanking Part 1, alone time -- Becky, 20:39:13 04/30/25 Wed

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking- Stages of Spanking Part 2, The Lecture Trish 14:22:35 04/25/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -Any disagreements? Trish 13:50:34 04/26/25 Sat

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -Any disagreements? -- Trish, 10:37:40 05/02/25 Fri
Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -Any disagreements? -- Trish, 11:30:19 05/02/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -Any disagreements? -- Mother Elena to Trish, 21:08:14 05/02/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking Sonya 16:57:11 05/02/25 Fri

Re: How parents decide to use and practice spanking -- Mother Elena to Sonya, 21:10:49 05/02/25 Fri

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>Hello. I don't post often here. My husband and I have >two girls, age 20 and 17, so both are well past >spanking age in our home. My husband and I both agreed >spanking should end, and it did, when they each turned >thirteen. > >I'm curious to ask other married moms and dads who >read or post here, how often and in how much detail >did you discuss spanking with your spouse? > >Besides simply agreeing to be "spanking parents," it >was always important for my husband and I to check in >on the topic periodically. Often this was during the >build-up to a spanking (when one or both of us saw >behavior deterioring and causing us to feel "the >spanking itch"), or discussing it just after a >spanking happened. > >Spankings were relatively rare in our home, maybe >happening on average three times per year, per >daughter, or perhaps roughly just one total during any >two-month period. Sharing some of the details, and >ways we practiced spanking were, in my opinion, >crucial to ensuring their effectiveness. By details, >I refer to just about anything related to how we >spanked. Being able to trust your spouse (and partner >in parenting) with details was important, and clearly >only something the two of us should have shared at the >time. Our discussions had a huge range of topics, >including: > >1) the overall process >2) what we intended to accomplish by sending one of >our girls to a bit of bedroom "alone time" before >spanking her. >3) How we gave a pre-spanking lecture to ensure it >reinforced the process. >4) How to actually give the spanking, and what we >experienced in the process. >5) Making a big change, and adding a paddle to our >spankings when the girls were a bit to big for the >hand to work. > >Based on all of the above, if I had to name one key >factor in spanking "working" for us and our girls, it >would be that my husband and I talked about it. > >Those discussions were frank, and sometimes helped >when one of us had doubts about something related to >spanking. We went to great pains to ensure whichever >of us delivered a spanking, we did it the same way. I >think the verbal reinforcement helped ensure we were >consistent, but also helped us follow through with it >as something we belived in, though we both absolutely >hated when one of us had to give a spanking. > >If others are interested in this topic, I'll share >more about how spanking discussions happened between >my husband and I. > >I found and continued to visit this site not long >after our youngest got her final spanking, and was >considering whether we needed to spank her again at >age 13. My husband and I ultimately decided to stick >with our original plan (and end spanking after age >twelve). However I know some here spank into the teen >years. The different discussions, and different >opinions and practices shared here have been >fascinating, but I'd like to explore more the decision >process parents make when they use spankings.
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