A dark wind wooshes over the hills and engulfs Shipperville. -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 04:03:48 08/28/02 Wed
Author: Stardoe
Subject: A dark wind wooshes over the hills and engulfs Shipperville.
In reply to: Kande's Sis shrieks as soon as she heard the news 's message, "Postage due!" on 09:10:44 08/25/02 Sun

The residents cringe. Kenamom glances nervously at the sky as she heads north atop her pet moose, Chuck. Her pack moose, Inuit, grunts as the wine bottles clang around his hocks. He dearly wishes the Canadians would finally import casks.

The black cloud passes Kenamom and settles over Shipperville. The Kande sisters, JD and Rabid come out onto the street. They shiver as a lone figure stalks down the street towards them. Kande and KS grab hold of eachother. Rabid stares wild -eyed as the figure approaches. Then she squeals and races towards him. [Yes it's a him.] She launches into his arms. "Angel!" she shrieks. "At last! You've come!" Kande and KS run into the Klub. Kande begins tearing apart root beer barrels and rubbing the slats up and down on Bubba's horny back to sharpen the ends. KS is shaking in JD's boots. Literally. After some moments of noneventfullness, they peer out the window and can't believe their eyes. Rabid and Angel are rolling around in the dust making out like a couple of rabid[no pun intended] teenagers. Spiky incisors clanging together they moan with passion.
Just then , out of nowhere, springs Stardoe, sheriff of Shipperville and upholder of all things moral and righteous. She turns the fire hose on Rabid and her guest; the powerful blast lampooning them towards the door of the Klub. Dripping wet they stand there on the step where K, KS and JD are gaping in disbelief.
Rabid coughs. "Um. Have I introduced you to our newest resi... , um,.... arr, guest!!!. Yes, Guest of Shipperville" She turns. "Everyone. This is Angel. And Angel. These...[pause for dramatic effect]....are my friends. "
"Not if I have anything to do with it," comes a grating voice from behind.
Stardoe has her crossbow trained on the newcomer. KS notices the custom jetson 185E wooden arrow straining against the string. She walks gingerly past the duo and stands beside Stardoe. Suddenly regaining her assassin's composure, she reaches inside her towling halter top to her mini-emergency utility belt and whips out her wooden crochet hook that CW gave her for Christmas. JD, with his nerves of steal, grabs the sharpened barrel slat from the slack-jawed Kande and joins Stardoe and KS and a menacing stance. Kande, realising she is all alone on her side of the stoop, holds up her right index finger, hoping desperately that the splinter she was sucking on, a minute ago, hasn't fallen out yet.

As the 4 face the impending showdown at the OK Klub and Scully and Mulder *sit*[yeah right] obliviously in their hot tub over at the mayoral office, Mayor Kenamom meanders leisurely along with her tiny charges and her two pet mooses [or is that meese???] lazily slapping an Anne Murray CD into her walkman and tossing Celine into her saddlebag to be safe for another day. Little does she know that upon her return, the entire citizenery of Shipperville could be sporting sharpened incisors, an aversion to the light and giving birth to children who grow up in a matter of weeks.
eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!

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Replies:

"Eeeeeeeeeek!!!" shrieks Kande. -- kande, 03:09:03 08/29/02 Thu
- I invited all my friends over, CW bravely announces -- Kande's Sis, 07:23:57 08/29/02 Thu
  - Swinging the whip here and there -- CW, 18:35:32 08/30/02 Fri
    - BANG!!!!!!! -- Stardoe, 04:43:13 08/31/02 Sat
      - The three hang their heads -- Kande's Sis, 08:44:42 08/31/02 Sat
        Stardoe tosses a caribou into the water to distract the crocodiles. -- kande, 03:41:42 09/03/02 Tue
        "Continue to let him work." -- Kande's Sis, 21:28:57 09/03/02 Tue
        I thinks...... -- Stardoe, 04:16:08 09/06/02 Fri
        Ooh...a celebrity in our midst! -- Kande's Sis coos, 12:29:40 09/06/02 Fri
        CW, Kande and Stardoe pale at the news -- Kande's Sis, sniffling, 11:20:20 09/08/02 Sun
        "Sweetie!" Bubba screams as he runs into the room. -- kande, 04:26:01 09/09/02 Mon
        Pronounced dead at 12:43 p.m. on September 8 -- Kande's Sis, 06:56:38 09/09/02 Mon
        Kande jumps at this -- CW, 08:00:22 09/09/02 Mon
        Not realizing that boxer dogs are notorious jumpers -- Kande's Sis, 20:46:12 09/09/02 Mon
        Later, Stardoe quietly closes the door under the staircase. -- kande, 03:45:04 09/13/02 Fri
        Kenamom moves closer to the structure -- Property assessment tables in hand, 09:15:03 09/13/02 Fri
        The crowd moves to the periwinkle bush -- Kande's Sis, 21:58:36 09/13/02 Fri
        A clump of CW's hair is thrown by an unseen hand. -- kande, 13:19:26 09/16/02 Mon
        Bubba overcomes his despair and throws himself bodily... -- Kande's Sis, 22:00:51 09/16/02 Mon