The Shippervillians gather for group therapy -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 08:05:00 01/18/02 Fri
Author: Kande's Sis
Subject: The Shippervillians gather for group therapy

The Shippervillians cluster on one side of the room, while the cast of the X-files are on the other, with CC in the hot seat in the middle. CC has just informed the Shippervillians the sad news that the files will be ending. KS sits, as the group therapist, between the two factions. She turns to the Shippervillians.

"And how do you feel about this?" she asks them, in proper therapist form.

Kande casts herself at the feet of Scully, clinging to her ankles. "*Sob!* Don't leave me!"

"Don't be silly, Kande," Scully tells her, surreptitiously trying to to remove Kande's talons from her instep. "I'll still be here in Shipperville."

"I for one think it's a good idea," Stardoe pipes up, lighting a match by dragging against the sole of her shoe and dragging on her cigarette. "Don't flog a dead takhi, or something along those lines."

"I have some good ideas for a new series!" IG squeaks, looking nervously at CC.

"Go ahead and fax them to my assistant," CC tells her, clearly wishing he were somewhere else.

"Uh huh," KS says encouragingly to the group, scratching along in her notebook and handing Kande a Beck depression inventory to take in her spare time.

"Stop with the psychobabble, KS," Stardoe says irritably, beginning to sweat. KS looks at her expectantly, eyes bright.

"Uh huh," she replies to Stardoe, scribbling even more furiously.

"Oh, oh, oh, I'm so sad!" KM breaks down sobbing. CW joins her and the two collapse in the middle of the circle, arms around each others backs.

"Oh all right! They're not takhis, they're horses with horns I superglued to their heads!" Stardoe bursts out.

"And I plagiarized so I could finish my 9th grade english report when I had writer's block!" IG wails. "I can't withstand your superior therapist's interventions, KS."

KS smiles enigmatically.

"And Melissa proposed to the plastic Doggett blow-up doll!" KM confesses, forgetting that no one but KS knows the whole town is under surveillance. "And I really did sleep with Bubba."

"*Gasp! I hadn't announced that! How did you know that!" Melissa bursts out, then her eyes widen and she glares at KS. "You bugged the blow-up Doggett, didn't you KS?!"

CC looks at KS admiringly. He begins thinking about a new series, an FX kind of show, demonstrating KS's brilliance. KS closes her notebook with a snap and stands up.

"Well, now that you're all expressing your true emotions, my work here is done," she announces as she looks over the huddled, sobbing mass of Shippervillians. Then she turns towards CC and hauls out her submachine gun from the assassin utility belt around her waist. All gasp and fall silent.

"I want you to reopen the porthole so we can see the X-files again," she informs CC. The other cast members had risen and pulled their guns on KS, then realizing their guns were fake and hers were real and remembering her superior marksmanship, they leave CC to his fate.

"What porthole?" CC says in a puzzled tone.

"The one you open every week so X-file fans all over the world can get a peek at these people's lives," she tells him, gesturing towards the cast.

Crap, thinks KM. I knew that e-mail KS sent me was weird. "KS," she says gently. "The X-files arent' real. It's just a show."

"Sure it is," KS snorts. "And takhi's aren't real either, are they, Mayor?"

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Replies:

Rabid burst;s into the room......uncontrollably crying..... -- kenamom, who saw the whole thing, 21:01:23 01/18/02 Fri
- "Hear ye, hear ye," KM shouts -- Kande's Sis, 00:14:47 01/19/02 Sat
  - "Did I say that?" Rabid squirms in her chair. -- kande, 04:51:42 01/21/02 Mon
    - In a scene reminisant to the "lets make a hollywood movie' scene from "The Muppet Movie" -- kenamom walking around with a clipboard, 09:06:13 01/22/02 Tue
      - Kande begins to scribble an alternate script on a piece of paper -- Kande's Sis, 22:29:38 01/22/02 Tue
        "...then Scully pats Mulder on the head and breaks into 'You've Got A Friend'..." -- kande, 04:27:58 01/24/02 Thu
        Kande breaks off mid-hum when she hears the scream -- Kande's Sis, 16:18:39 01/24/02 Thu
        Murblewump? -- CW, 21:30:49 01/24/02 Thu
        brought out their harmonicas -- Stardoe, 22:11:32 01/24/02 Thu
        "That's just one version I've thought of," says kande. -- kande, 12:04:12 01/25/02 Fri
        He he heeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh haaaaaaah Kquhaaaaaaaaah -- Stardoe, 01:48:04 01/26/02 Sat
        ....meowwwwww...... -- kenamom, 07:22:11 01/26/02 Sat
        Meanwhile...back at the klub -- Kande's Sis, 21:10:00 01/26/02 Sat
        Melissa and [the real] Dogget -- Stardoe, 21:13:51 01/26/02 Sat
        As the frozen Doggett/Melissa tableau rolls past Bubba... -- Kande's Sis, 09:10:15 01/27/02 Sun
        Bubba begins to drool..... -- kenamom, 09:01:30 01/28/02 Mon
        Come to you-ums mommy, says Kande -- Kande's Sis, 21:48:30 01/29/02 Tue
        "Of course I know something," snaps Kenamom. -- kande, 04:39:52 01/30/02 Wed
        Then she sees her sister sobbing in the corner -- Kande's Sis, 19:31:45 01/30/02 Wed