| Subject: Re: The Script begins |
Author:
Dave
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Date Posted: 05:22:34 07/02/02 Tue
In reply to:
's message, "Re: The Script begins" on 16:47:38 07/01/02 Mon
>At the laundromat greg and tim wear pajamas. Tim is
>reading a badly battered Physics book and is clearly
>confused. Greg is eating some candy he finds
>sickening. He keeps eating it anyway. Tim closes his
>book and slams it on the ground. Greg chokes and
>nearly vomits. The washing machine stops.
>
>Tim
>Check it out
>
>Greg walks over, lifts the lid on the washing machine
>and takes a sniff. He chokes and nearly vomits.
>
>Greg
>not yet. I'm out of quarters.
>
>Tim
>Let me try
>
>Tim smells the clothes
>
>Tim
>Holy shit that stinks. We need some more quarters
>fast.
>
>Greg
>I'm out of quarters
>
>Tim
>Use the change machine
>
>Greg reaches into the washer, pulls out his pants and
>pulls his wallet from his back pocket. Tim stares on
>the verge of disbelief. Greg pulls out a ball of wet
>money that falls apart as he tries to straighten it
>out on the surface of the next washing machine.
>
>Tim (points at the money)
>There's no way you're that fucking stupid
>
>Greg
>It's alright. Hand me that tape (points at the washer)
>
>Greg, after waiting a few seconds for tim to do it,
>pulls a roll of duct tape from the washer and starts
>wrapping the tape around the ball of wet money.
>
>Greg (smugly)
>I come prepared. Hand me those scissors.
>
>Tim stares at greg.
>
>Greg
>The scissors
>
>Tim reaches in and grabs out a pair of scissors and
>hands it to Greg. Tim struggles with the tape and
>scissors as greg pulls a shirt out of the washer. Its
>been torn badly by the scissors. greg keeps
>struggling.
>
>Greg
>Hand me that shirt
>
>Tim
>Fucking forget it, assface
>
>Tim throws the wet shirt at greg's face
>
>Tim walks toward the laundromat exit.
>
>Greg
>Wait! Just a few seconds. I'm almost done
>
>Tim turns around to scream (while pointing at greg)
>STUPID SHIT!
>
>Outside of the laundromat. Tim exits and is walking
>down the street. greg runs out.
>
>Greg
>Look, I fixed it
>
>Greg lifts his right hand, holding up a ball of tape
>with some wet money hanging out
>
>Tim
>What about our clothes, stupid shit? You're dumb-ass
>scissors ruined everything.
>
>Greg, shocked, drops the money and pulls the scissors
>out of his pajama pants.
>
>Greg
>These scissors weren't so dumb-ass when you couldn't
>get that bag of chips open. And what about when you
>were stuck in that...
>
>Tim (knocks the scissors from greg's hand)
>Fuck the scissors! What about our clothes?
>
>greg, with his left hand, holds up a bigger ball of
>tape with a sleeve hanging out of it.
>
>Tim
>AAAAAHHHHH!
>
>Tim grabs Greg and they fall to the ground wrestling.
>Their faces are hidden in the struggle. We see
>someone's vomit shoot out of their ball of violent
>eroticism.
>
>Jesus (off-camera)
>Need some new clothes, guys?
>
>They both look up at Jesus but they continue to fight.
>
>Tim (Ina strained tone)
>Can't you see that we're busy?
>
>Greg (Painfully)
>Are you blind?
>
>Jesus
>wow. Clothes. Did you hear me? New clothes. You
>need clothes. I'll get you some if you just...
>
>Tim (with greg in a headlock)
>We don't have time for you. Can't you see that?
>
>Greg (swinging at Tim's face)
>Would you both shut up. I need to concentrate.
>
>Jesus Sighs. Greg succeeds and finally punches tim in
>the face. Tim loses his grip as he vomits on Greg.
>
>Greg
>You sick fuck!
>
>Jesus
>wow. GUYS! Listen to me! Stop Fighting and listen
>to me!
>
>They keep fighting
>
>Jesus
>I will buy you new clothes!...and Candy!...and
>anything you want! Please...
>
>Tim and Greg (in unison)
>Anything?
>
>Jesus
>Yes, anything
>
>Tim and Greg (in unison)
>Fuck you!
>
>Jesus, flustered, tries to break up their fighting
>
>Jesus (Struggling)
>Alright, guys, listen to me. Stop fighting.
>
>Greg vomits
>
>Jesus
>Oh shit
>
>Tim
>What do you want from us?
>
>Jesus (struggling and choking)
>I want to buy you some new clothes
>
>Greg
>You said candy, fuckface
>
>Jesus
>That too
>
>Tim
>Why do you want to buy us new clothes?
>
>Jesus
>Stop fighting me and I'll tell...
>
>Before Jesus can finish that sentence, greg rabbit
>punches jesus' nutbag two or three times. Jesus
>starts to vomit and cry. The struggle stops. They
>all lay there in a pile.
Jesus clutches his things and is still sobbing.
JESUS
WHY?
He then collapses into a pool of vomit. (and maybe urine)
TIM
(to Greg)
Oh my god. You killed him. You crazy son of a bitch!
GREG
I didn't kill anyone!
TIM
FUCK YOU! You killed him! I'm not going to jail!
GREG
No no no, you did it. It was you!
TIM
Fuck you murderer!
GREG
Shut up!
TIM
MURDERER!
GREG
STOP IT TIM!
TIM
Killah-killah-killah!
GREG
I'm not a killer! I'LL KILL YOU!
Greg and Tim charge each other like they are goats.
The accidentally konk their heads together and pass out.
Fade out.
Fade in.
Inside of a moving car. Greg and Tim have their hands bound behind their backs and their mouths are duct-taped shut. They still wear pajamas.
Tim glares at Greg. Greg shrugs.
Jesus is in the front passenger seat. He is crying, sobbing terribly.
Driving the car is Paul.
JESUS
Look what they did to me. Look what they did, man.
PAUL
I'm sorry, Jesus.
JESUS
This better be worth it. I woke up in vomit, man! They're not even human. They're like animals!
PAUL
Jesus, why don't you just calm down.
JESUS
Oh God, I remember.
Jesus sobs uncontrollably. He's going to be out of it for a bit.
Tim indicates Jesus's womanly antics to Greg. Greg nods, knowingly.
TIM
(sounds like muffled nonsense through the tape could be subtitled)
Look at the panty-waste.
GREG
(also muffled)
Fucker.
PAUL
You're awake back there.
TIM
(muffled)
Fucking untie me fuck-face.
GREG
(muffled)
Is this my fucking tape you ass?
TIM
(muffled to Greg)
He can't understand you dickface!
GREG
(muffled to Tim)
What?
TIM
(muffled)
Are you fucking stupid? He can't understand a fucking word you're saying.
GREG
(muffled)
Take the dick out of you mouth and say that again, shit for brains.
TIM
(muffled)
You're a fucking retard, you know that.
GREG
(muffled)
What?
PAUL
Hey, settle down back there.
Greg kicks the back of Paul's seat.
PAUL
HEY!
Greg keeps kicking over and over and harder and harder. Tim looks at this. He scowls.
TIM
(muffled)
You're not doing it right, cunthead. Let me show you how.
Tim begins kicking the back of Jesus's seat.
JESUS
(sobbing)
STOP IT!
Tim smiles. Well, we can't see that, but his face brightens.
Greg is kicking so hard. His face is getting really sweaty. He screams words beneath the tape.
GREG
(muffled)
SIXTY! DOWN DOWN DOWN! GO GO GO! UH HUH UH HUH! SIXTY!
PAUL
Jesus Christ! Stop kicking my seat. Jesus, do something!
Jesus looks up at Paul, his face tear-streaked. Paul glances over at Jesus while he drives.
Jesus's lower lip trembles for a few moments and then suddenly he begins to all-out bawl.
Tim is now kicking hard enough to knock Jesus's face toward the dash board.
JESUS
Stop it! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Tim begins to rant on a series of swear words unheard of even to most linguists. Thankfully for me, they're all muffled so I don't have to write them down here. He approaches the task of saying this string of swear words with the zeal of say, a radical muslim terrorist piloting a plane into a national landmark. That is to say, he is intense and scary.
Jesus turns around to look at Tim as Tim continues to kick the back of Jesus's seat.
Their eyes meet. The fury and intensity of Tim's stare causes Jesus to really lose it now.
JESUS
(if one line is generally said in a minute's time length (hypothetically speaking) this is spoken in about .2 seconds. That is to say, this line is spoken fastly and staccato)
Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Paul. Oh my God. They've got the keys. The center of it all, Paul. Paul. Paul. Help me, my things. My things are off center and the balance is-
Jesus opens his car door and falls out.
PAUL
JESUS!
(the interpretation of that last line is up to the actor)
Greg is still kicking.
PAUL
GUYS! KNOCK IT OFF!
Tim kicks the back of the empty seat. He looks despondant about it, thinks, then turns to kick Paul's seat.
PAUL
All right that does it!
Paul pulls the car over to the side of the road.
Paul opens the back driver's side door and yanks Greg out. Greg struggles like a beached whale as he struggles to get to his feet.
Paul pulls Tim out next. Tim is thrown on top of Greg. The two flail about.
Paul kicks at Tim. He kicks Greg. He kicks them hard. That done, he gets back in the car and drives off, leaving Greg and Tim bound gagged and stranded on the side of an interstate highway.
Note: in the distance at some point in the scene, we can see that Jesus is not dead but is limping forward toward the car.
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