"Bubba, take a memo" -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 10:45:57 08/02/01 Thu
Author: KM, sitting down at the bar and contemplating bitchiness
Subject: "Bubba, take a memo"
In reply to: Rabid...you know...storming 's message, "Rabid storms into Bitch Parade Headquarters(the BPH)" on 09:49:10 08/02/01 Thu

Bubba turns from his bartending dudites and glares at the Mayor. The Mayor raises one eye-brow in an ever so bitchy way and Bubba gasps at the look before quickly opening up his laptop.

With a nod to the Mayor, he begins to type, which is very difficult considering the little alien only has 4 digits on each hand and they are long and slow moving.

"Attention all Entrants of Shippervilles 2001 Bitch-Festival Parade."

Bubba looks up and gives the Mayor a worried look. He makes some gestures with his arms, pointing to various parts of the klub and his anatomy. Kenamom responds with an evil smile.

"sorry Bubba but all is fair in love and bitchyness. Now put those fingers to the keys and keep typing"

kenamom takes a slow breath then continues: "As this years festival has attracted a record number of losers, I mean entrants, I would like to remind everyone of the rules of the contest.
1) Float entrees are to depict one episode of bitchiness of the entrant from the past calander year. No repeats of kicking puppies from past years will be tolerated.
2) Entrants will be permitted one vote for Miss Congeniality, that is, the entrant who proves to remain cool headed yet tactfully bitchy during the weeks festivities.
3) The final Bitch- out will be moved from the town square to the Jello Room of kandes klub to protect the newly erected statues that pay homage to the MSR.
4) The contest is now officially open."

With shaking hands Bubba finishes the memo then presses 'send'. Kenamom gets up from her stool and heads towards the kitchen. She peeks in to see KS happily making Doggetts favorite dinner. She pulls her cell phone out from her pocket and dials.

"Doggett"

"Agent Doggett, this is Kenamom. I need you to go to Washington ASAP and sit in on some top level secret meetings."

"With all due respect Mayor, those meetings are not so secret and I can do the survaillence from here, and KS is making my fav tonight. Which means I get desert later....if you know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean, in fact it was KS who asked me to send you on this assignment. I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but she is getting bored, you just don't excite her anymore"

"NO, she told you that?"

"oh yes, and much much more"

"I will be on the first plane to DC Mayor, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I had no idea" with a sigh DOggett hangs up his phone.

Kenamom presses her ear up to the kitchen door and as expected she hears KS's phone ring.

"KS....oh Hi snokums....your going WHERE?, but we had plans for tonight....WHAT?....SHE SAID WHAT?.........NO, nonono, thats not true..I never said....but....but....."

For a moment there is complete quiet in the klub. Then a loud crash is heard from the kitchen.

"THAT BITCH"

"thank you" kenamom smiles and walks away.

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Replies:

Oooohhh...Why, I oughta... -- Kande's Sis, 09:45:59 08/03/01 Fri
- A weary and exhausted biker enters the klub. -- kande, 06:11:32 08/04/01 Sat
  - <pound, pound, pound>, <Whhhiiirrrrrrrr> <ting, CHING, Ka-Ching, ting> -- Rabid, works on her float in the depths of the Library, 07:22:59 08/04/01 Sat
    - KS works on her own float in the depths of the torture chamber -- Kande's Sis, 08:45:04 08/05/01 Sun
      - After completing the necessary paperwork, -- kande, 03:50:12 08/08/01 Wed
        Oh Puh-leaze! -- Kande's Sis, who saw it all through the window, 06:40:48 08/08/01 Wed
        Kande takes the lead...... -- kenamom, reading the latest polls just in, 10:06:15 08/08/01 Wed
        "But I haven't even registered for the parade!" Kande sputters. -- kande, 03:57:32 08/09/01 Thu
        "I have to come up with something extra bitchy now" -- kenamom, contemplating bitchiness in her spacious office, 09:38:55 08/09/01 Thu
        A light bulb goes on over KM's head... -- Rabid, back from her lovely vacation., 17:26:27 08/09/01 Thu
        Ring ring! Ring ring! -- kande, 04:42:32 08/10/01 Fri
        KS looks at her float in dismay -- Kande's Sis, holding her head, 07:41:15 08/10/01 Fri
        JD looks down at the unconcious body of his beloved... -- Rabid, still screeching at the Library, 09:56:00 08/10/01 Fri
        JD looks around for his sweetie -- Kande's Sis, 08:07:46 08/11/01 Sat
        The crowd is quiet as they enter the klub..... -- kenamom, a CANADIAN, 08:41:21 08/11/01 Sat
        In the back of the room... -- Kande's Sis, 18:32:09 08/12/01 Sun
        As IOT hands kande and KS citations, Bubba saunters over to the cd player. -- kande, 03:52:59 08/15/01 Wed
        Blame Canada???? For what???? -- kenamom, reading off a long long lost, 09:24:48 08/15/01 Wed