Rabid storms into Bitch Parade Headquarters(the BPH) -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 09:49:10 08/02/01 Thu
Author: Rabid...you know...storming
Subject:

Rabid storms into Bitch Parade Headquarters(the BPH)
In reply to: Kande's Sis 's message, "KS comes out from the kitchen" on 21:09:51 08/01/01 Wed

"Ahem!" Rabid says clearing her throat at Stardoe who has not looked up from polishing her nails, "AHEM!!!!"

After a final coat on her right hand, the Aussie sighs heavily and glances up at the irrate Librarian.

"Can I...help...you?" Stardoe asks as if it is highly unlikely that anyone can HELP Rabid.

"I want to register for a spot in the Parade."

"So...Fill out the forms," Stardoe says waving her nailbrush full of Pink Persuasion at the row of clipboard on the countertop, "And I'll need to see 3 forms of photo ID."

"THREE FORMS?" Rabid snaps, "Who has three forms of Photo ID?"

"The Mayor!" Stardoe answers as she starts working on her left hand nails.

"Fine!" Rabid growls, "I just happen to have my Driver's License, my Military Id and my Shipperville City Employee id."

"Military ID is no good here!" Stardoe says

"WHAT?!!?" Rabid yelps, "I give 8 years of loyal service to a top secret covert military conspiracy machine and this is the thanks I get?"

Stardoe shrugs and leans back to carefully flip on the office's table top TV.

"Could you keep it down?" The Aussie says double checking that she hasn't smudged her nail polish, "Passions is coming on."

Rabid glares at Stardoe to no effect. Without another word the Librarian begins to fill out the 8 page entry form using the #2 pencil attached to the clipboard. Passions is nearly over before she finishes. Stardoe however will not acknowledge her until the final credits roll.

"What about a passport?" Rabid says between gritted teeth as she hands in her completed form, "Will you take a passport as the third form of ID?"

Stardoe heaves another sigh and carefully opens up a huge ring bound notebook on the desk top. She rifles the pages for a moment and then responds.

"Yeah, Valid Passport is okay!" She says then adds, "Oh, NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO...I've ruined my polish."

"THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!" Rabid barks, "Do your nails on your own time!"

"Hey, Look...you're the one that came in here and started asking ME all of the questions," Stardoe responds, "It's not like I invited you over or anything. So, this is MY TIME that YOU ARE wasting. Oh, and these forms need to be filled out in BLUE INK. Can't you read?"

The Aussie turns the forms around sharply and jabs a smudged fingernail at the bottom of one page. Rabid glances at the small print at the end of the eight page form...sure enough it says "To Be Valid This Form Must Be Filled Out in BLUE INK" right under the signature line.

"$%$#$*@&%$%#$(%(###!," Rabid screams snatching up the erroneously filled out form and ripping it to shreds, "Then why the *&^$% do you have #2 pencils on all of the clipboards?"

"People kept stealing our pens," Stardoe responds in a reasonable tone of voice.

Rabid pulls all the pencils off of the clipboards and hurls them into the trash then she leans over the counter and snarls in Stardoe's face.

"Put out some BLUE PENS," She says, "And give me a copy of the rules and regulations for this fiasco. Because as God is my Witness the winner will never by Kenamom...AGAIN!"

Trembling before the wrath of the Shipperville Librarian, Stardoe hands over the 75 page rule book and Rabid tucks it under one arm along with two more entry forms. Rabid heads for the door but just as she yanks it open the courageous and somewhat foolhardy Australian calls out:

"Have a nice day!"

Rabid
who hopes someone sends an EMT to take care of Stardoe before she regains consciousness and wanders into the street.

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Replies:

"Bubba, take a memo" -- KM, sitting down at the bar and contemplating bitchiness, 10:45:57 08/02/01 Thu
- Oooohhh...Why, I oughta... -- Kande's Sis, 09:45:59 08/03/01 Fri
  - A weary and exhausted biker enters the klub. -- kande, 06:11:32 08/04/01 Sat
    - <pound, pound, pound>, <Whhhiiirrrrrrrr> <ting, CHING, Ka-Ching, ting> -- Rabid, works on her float in the depths of the Library, 07:22:59 08/04/01 Sat
      - KS works on her own float in the depths of the torture chamber -- Kande's Sis, 08:45:04 08/05/01 Sun
        After completing the necessary paperwork, -- kande, 03:50:12 08/08/01 Wed
        Oh Puh-leaze! -- Kande's Sis, who saw it all through the window, 06:40:48 08/08/01 Wed
        Kande takes the lead...... -- kenamom, reading the latest polls just in, 10:06:15 08/08/01 Wed
        "But I haven't even registered for the parade!" Kande sputters. -- kande, 03:57:32 08/09/01 Thu
        "I have to come up with something extra bitchy now" -- kenamom, contemplating bitchiness in her spacious office, 09:38:55 08/09/01 Thu
        A light bulb goes on over KM's head... -- Rabid, back from her lovely vacation., 17:26:27 08/09/01 Thu
        Ring ring! Ring ring! -- kande, 04:42:32 08/10/01 Fri
        KS looks at her float in dismay -- Kande's Sis, holding her head, 07:41:15 08/10/01 Fri
        JD looks down at the unconcious body of his beloved... -- Rabid, still screeching at the Library, 09:56:00 08/10/01 Fri
        JD looks around for his sweetie -- Kande's Sis, 08:07:46 08/11/01 Sat
        The crowd is quiet as they enter the klub..... -- kenamom, a CANADIAN, 08:41:21 08/11/01 Sat
        In the back of the room... -- Kande's Sis, 18:32:09 08/12/01 Sun
        As IOT hands kande and KS citations, Bubba saunters over to the cd player. -- kande, 03:52:59 08/15/01 Wed
        Blame Canada???? For what???? -- kenamom, reading off a long long lost, 09:24:48 08/15/01 Wed