"WHAT THE #@$%%@$$%^@#$ is this Bubba?" -- X-Philes World-Shipperville

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Date Posted: 09:54:25 08/01/01 Wed
Author: Rabid, slamming her frosty mug down on the bar
Subject:

"WHAT THE #@$%%@$$%^@#$ is this Bubba?"

The hapless little alien jumps four feet into the air and cracks his head on the cabinet with the non-frosty glasses. With teary eyes, he turns to peer at the Shipperville Librarian.

"I ordered PEACHES AND CREAM not VANILLA ice cream in this float!" Rabid snaps, "I always order P&C with my rootbeer. How many times do I have to tell you?"

With trembling fingers Bubba indicates the latest poster tacked to the wall between the "No Smoking" and the "$1.85 surcharge for frying food" signs was a new one..."To Better Serve You We Now Carry ONLY VANILLA Ice Cream."

"You have got to be kidding?" Rabid growls, "How does that 'serve' me better?"

The little Grey gave the hands up sign that he used rather than a shrug.

"WELL, THIS IS IT!" Rabid snarls leaning into the bar so close to Bubba's nose holes that he went cross-eyed, "I can take the long overdue books, I can take the clueless reference questions and I can take the obnoxious patrons...but NOBODY messes with my after-hours rootbeer FLOAT!!!! You tell that Extortionist Mayor that she can just raise the taxes a little more and put the P&C BACK on the MENU...OR ELSE!!!!!"

"Or else...what?" Kenamom calls in a deceptively soft voice as she enters the bar like an old fashioned gunslinger. The swinging doors swing dramatically behind her. The Librarian whips around and narrows her eyes so that even though neither woman is armed people dive out of the line of fire.

"OR ELSE..." Rabid hisses, "You are going to face some serious competition at this year's Bitch Parade."

There is a collective gasp from the crowd. No one in the past ten years had dared to challenge the Mayor's right to the prized Bitch Parade Founder's Trophy.

"If you think you've got the little tissue paper flowers to pull it off..." Mayor Kenamom says in a softly menacing voice, "...more power to you!"

"I'll see you on Main Street in two weeks!" Rabid asserts as she tosses down a dollar to pay for her untouched float.

"Hey, that float costs $6.50." Kenamom yelps.

"That's for the rootbeer," Rabid yells back before storming past KM and heading for the door, "I don't pay for Vanilla Ice Cream and I am through paying taxes to fund your pork barrel reign of terror....period!"

With those rebellious words the Librarian leaves the Klub the swinging doors giving another dramatic swish as she powers through them.

"What a Bi***?" KM starts to say and then catches herself in time, "I mean rude person." She ammends weakly as she looks around and listens to the murmur of voices as everyone in the Klub wonders if the Shipperville Librarian can take down the Mayor in this year's Annual Bitch Parade.

Rabid
who is really hoping that the Shipperville Library float wins the Founder's Trophy at this year's 127th Annual Bitch Parade. 'Cause I have a good idea for my Bitchy subject!

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Replies:

KS comes out from the kitchen -- Kande's Sis, 21:09:51 08/01/01 Wed
- Rabid storms into Bitch Parade Headquarters(the BPH) -- Rabid...you know...storming, 09:49:10 08/02/01 Thu
  - "Bubba, take a memo" -- KM, sitting down at the bar and contemplating bitchiness, 10:45:57 08/02/01 Thu
    - Oooohhh...Why, I oughta... -- Kande's Sis, 09:45:59 08/03/01 Fri
      - A weary and exhausted biker enters the klub. -- kande, 06:11:32 08/04/01 Sat
        <pound, pound, pound>, <Whhhiiirrrrrrrr> <ting, CHING, Ka-Ching, ting> -- Rabid, works on her float in the depths of the Library, 07:22:59 08/04/01 Sat
        KS works on her own float in the depths of the torture chamber -- Kande's Sis, 08:45:04 08/05/01 Sun
        After completing the necessary paperwork, -- kande, 03:50:12 08/08/01 Wed
        Oh Puh-leaze! -- Kande's Sis, who saw it all through the window, 06:40:48 08/08/01 Wed
        Kande takes the lead...... -- kenamom, reading the latest polls just in, 10:06:15 08/08/01 Wed
        "But I haven't even registered for the parade!" Kande sputters. -- kande, 03:57:32 08/09/01 Thu
        "I have to come up with something extra bitchy now" -- kenamom, contemplating bitchiness in her spacious office, 09:38:55 08/09/01 Thu
        A light bulb goes on over KM's head... -- Rabid, back from her lovely vacation., 17:26:27 08/09/01 Thu
        Ring ring! Ring ring! -- kande, 04:42:32 08/10/01 Fri
        KS looks at her float in dismay -- Kande's Sis, holding her head, 07:41:15 08/10/01 Fri
        JD looks down at the unconcious body of his beloved... -- Rabid, still screeching at the Library, 09:56:00 08/10/01 Fri
        JD looks around for his sweetie -- Kande's Sis, 08:07:46 08/11/01 Sat
        The crowd is quiet as they enter the klub..... -- kenamom, a CANADIAN, 08:41:21 08/11/01 Sat
        In the back of the room... -- Kande's Sis, 18:32:09 08/12/01 Sun
        As IOT hands kande and KS citations, Bubba saunters over to the cd player. -- kande, 03:52:59 08/15/01 Wed
        Blame Canada???? For what???? -- kenamom, reading off a long long lost, 09:24:48 08/15/01 Wed